Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
11/29/2013 2:24:27 PM
Gabe Shelly Posts: 95
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No respect--'I get no respect', said the fool. We remember the king for who he was...what he did... I recall the stories of the clown more with fondness-- That he is made the object of gaity; he is the strongest of us
Phineas Gage was struck by the Fates themselves-- A metal shaft shot through his skull obliterating the frontal lobes of his brain... he is one of the first documented cases of a person with a brain-injury... I remember him better than some lords of state
11/29/'13 edited by Gabe on 11/29/2013 edited by Gabe on 11/29/2013 edited by Gabe on 11/29/2013
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12/3/2013 1:29:40 PM
Just That Archaic Poet Posts: 89
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No disrespect at ALL intended, Gabe, but after reading the first line, I just kept thinking "Rodney Dangerfield" over and over and couldn't get past it. The two pieces seem disparate (to me). While I think it's all very well expressed, I must admit that I didn't quite get it, but that's not to say someone else won't take what they need from this piece, and understand it much better than I. I give you credit for your word crafting, however; it's excellent. Not a very helpful critique, I'm afraid.
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12/8/2013 3:36:52 PM
Gabe Shelly Posts: 95
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JustLivingLies wrote:
No disrespect at ALL intended, Gabe, but after reading the first line, I just kept thinking "Rodney Dangerfield" over and over and couldn't get past it. The two pieces seem disparate (to me). While I think it's all very well expressed, I must admit that I didn't quite get it, but that's not to say someone else won't take what they need from this piece, and understand it much better than I. I give you credit for your word crafting, however; it's excellent. Not a very helpful critique, I'm afraid.
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12/8/2013 3:43:04 PM
Gabe Shelly Posts: 95
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Haven't seen you around in awhile, thanks for critiquing my poem. Your right the first line is Dangerfield, and sometimes I agree it doesn't seem to fit. It just seemed right when I wrote it. I'm afraid I don't look back very much when I write something. I hope you have a Merry Christmas.
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