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Forum Home » High Critique » Damn my hourglass eyes

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/3/2013 9:17:32 AM

Gabe Shelly
Posts: 95
Damn my hourglass eyes--
This I think I see I cannot hide--
Things to be for those who go before--
Concerning only me and nothing more--
I first died at sixteen this I cannot hide--
Bumped the head and bruised that which was inside--
Now a broken toy-- a limping dog with two legs--
Won't have the chance to learn that giving dance--
My only reward I'm told,
Is that violent forgetfulness when I grow old
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