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6/21/2010 7:51:22 AM James Marion Posts: 10	Twenty seconds time Is the time that it takes me To update Facebook Twenty minutes time I could have written poems Instead, arguments In twenty days time To Russia, China and back But no, mostly naps In twenty more months I might go study abroad I’m safer back home It’s been twenty years I thought by now I’d be rich I’m working at it Twenty more years gone I thought I’d be married now Go figure, I’m sick They say twenty months But two years if I’m lucky Hardly long enough Twenty day respite Then awful physicians Unfortunately Twenty minutes pass And I forget the last five But I still take naps Count back from twenty I should update my status My eyes are drowsy
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6/22/2010 7:02:49 AM James Marion Posts: 10	As haiku, I cannot change the lines as you have suggested. Consider reading a description of 'haiku'. The terseness and word real-estate are foundations of the form of poetry.
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6/22/2010 9:02:55 AM Oleg Borisov Posts: 9	Of course, I guessed, reading the poem, that it had been written in that form, and I was greatly surprised by such innovation. As I know that traditional HAIKU is divided into 3 lines. They have a 5-7-5 syllable pattern and answer the questions according to a particular WHERE–WHAT–WHEN sequence. A good haiku in 3 lines can compete, as to the richness of its content, even with a 30 line poem, as yours,which is bigger tenfold. Your tercets can disturb the traditional preference of a WHERE-WHAT-WHEN pattern. And your lines in each tercet yields to haiku both in meaning and form. That is what I meant.
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