Pining

I have a lot of family, most of whom I don't see, but my closest family are also hardly seen due to being 180 miles apart.  I have a niece, Lucy (soon to be 6) and a nephew, Taylor who is 1 (we share the same birthday), who I tend to spoil due to hardly seeing them.  I saw Lucy grow though because I frequently visited in my early years of university but that soon became demanding and so I have barely seen my nephew; I held him once as a new-born, and I seen him twice - at 3 months and then again at our joined birthday party.  This makes me feel rather guilty with having been in Lucy's life than in his.

Lucy sends me letters and drawings that I all keep in an album along with cherished photos; I have a canvas she done in school up on my lounge wall, it makes me proud when I look at it; it is a butterfly in a garden of flowers and the sun.  Taylor, I am told, has some of my childhood characteristics such as having an obsession with his wellington boots (I slept with mine), having a like of the outdoors and sport like football (soccer), knowing what he likes, watching T.V. whilst in his night-gown and drinking tea (very milky tea at that).  I have also been told that Lucy is showing signs of being like me; she collects rocks like I did as a child, but I now collect geological crystals, which she likes due them being sparkly.

I miss all my family a lot, but them most of all due to them being children, once childhood is lost it remains that.  I hope to be able to visit more frequently over the summer because I don't like missing them growing up; photos only cause pining in my case along with memories being revisted.