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How do you handle the inner critic?

Blog Posted:8/29/2018 5:03:00 PM

A recent poetry reading binge left me dejected, because I started comparing, and it brought my inner critic out in full force.

You know, the voice that says "You are just an amateur! Your poetry is no good. You're an imposter. And you seriously want to submit to publish? They will laugh at your stuff."

What do you do when the inner critic rips you to shreds? How do you find the self confidence to put your work out there? When you feel they're all so much better than you?

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Chris
Green

Date: 9/25/2018 1:06:00 PM

Agnes, I truly believe that it's just part of being an artist. We are always very critical of ourselves and feel that so many are better than us, whether it be poetry, painting, sculpting, singing, whatever. I read once that John Lennon couldn't stand the sound of his voice, he felt so many were better than him and believe he was terrible. They way I look at it is, if we ever get to the point where we think we are the best, then we stop trying and before long we really aren't that good anymore. You are a fantastic poet and the people here who read your work I know will agree with me. Write to make yourself happy and if it others enjoy it along the way, then that is a bonus. That's my opinion

Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/27/2018 6:34:00 AM

Thank you for your kind encouragement, Chris. I means a lot to me.

Gregory Richard
Barden

Date: 8/31/2018 1:35:00 PM

(2) ... I have been so blessed to find this place, and made some lifelong friends that have seen through my lack of confidence and encouraged me to share and feel GOOD about my work. I still DON'T feel good about it, but I'm getting there, and I see the issue as a positive thing, because it keeps me striving to improve and grow, and I think, for me personally, that if I was "satisfied" with my writing I would be apt to not work as hard at getting BETTER, and I believe that when we stop growing and learning, we stop LIVING, and lose our inside child, and that is something I hope to NEVER do. So, despite my rambling here I guess I'm saying that it's not always a bad thing. Blessings, Friend!

Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/3/2018 7:03:00 PM

Thank you, Gregory.

Gregory Richard
Barden

Date: 8/31/2018 1:30:00 PM

This site has helped me a great deal, Agnes, and the good friends I've made here who have been so incredibly encouraging. I am blessed. I am chronic with my self-deprecation, and I was raised to believe that NOTHING I ever did was ever "good enough", sadly, so it comes easily to me. I'm not whining - it is what it is - but I had straight A's until I was a senior in high school when I received my first B ... I had never heard "great job", but that day was one of the worst of my life. I think MANY parents were that way in the days of we Baby Boomers, but it has been hard to overcome. I am a perfectionist with OCD, so it's VERY difficult to like ANYthing I produce, but people here have helped..

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 8/31/2018 2:58:00 PM

gosh, Greg, my mom was so supportive of me. I was her oldest (the "student" of the family always with my nose in a book) so she praised me all the time and never said anythng about my Bs in horrible algebra or chemistry class. Sorry you had to grow up that way.

Carrie
Richards

Date: 8/31/2018 10:01:00 AM

Agnes, ..unless one is hoping to write and publish a book of poetry to please a wide range audience, I would advise each one of us to write to please ourselves. The poems that are my personal favorites, are those that have meaning to me, .... written from my own life experience. Not everyone will "get" our words, which come from our own hearts. But after being here on PS for a few years, I've come to the realization that if it touches only a few readers, there is much satisfaction.. And that makes it worthwhile. I don't consider myself much of a critic, but several of your poems truly touched my heart. I wish I had written them. Keep writing for you! You are your own best critic :)

Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/3/2018 7:04:00 PM

Thank you for your encouragement, Carrie.

Brian
Strand

Date: 8/31/2018 9:47:00 AM

Agnes,The contests here are a critique of sorts , only they are implied.Perhaps a n/a often says more about the poetics (or lack of them)of a poem than a success.Just saying this as an observation, by a long time contest sponsor. Admittedly, in my contests placings are less about form(which I never check out ) or a particular theme but are more concerned with the poetical insights and feeling.

Agnes Krampe
Date: 9/4/2018 8:57:00 AM

Thank you, Brian. This is certainly true for some contests (and I highly respect yours!), but in others, I am scratching my head how obviously flawed poems win. Contest success often seems to be more a matter of matching the sponsor's taste than of actual quality.

Andrea
Dietrich

Date: 8/31/2018 1:00:00 AM

Everyone made good points here, Agnes. We should know ourselves well enough to know our flaws and our strengths. My strength is in traditional forms while I would say yours is in free verse. But I think we both can do anything if we really put our hearts into it. I know i will never be a poet like the modern world publishes. I have learned to accept this. I met with Utah Society of POets years ago . Everyone read his own free verse poem and analyzed it to DEATH. This made me want to gag. It came my turn and I read Cinder Girl. They just said "oh, nice." That poem has been a huge success online for me, yet by Utah Poetry Society standards I am a nothing. I want to just rub shoulders with fellow poets here at Soup where we can enjoy all types of forms and varying degrees of talents. Honestly not many folks read poetry books anymore. OUr peers read us here more than we will be read in print. I've had people approach me to use a few of my poems in their class, or in a song or with a photograph, etc. This warms my heart and makes me feel that this site can lead to opportunities as well as the inspiration to write and make friends.

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 8/31/2018 2:55:00 PM

It's been tried in several places where I was active, Agnes. It never worked out. POets are VERY sensitive. Any hint of constructive criticism, half of them get very defensive. I was very tactful but I had several poets become like ice toward me when I offered suggestions in emails (like they asked me to do). In open forums, fights would break out over feelings hurt. In the Utah society circle, I was bored to tears how they analyzed every little line but if you like that kind of thing, find out where your local poetry regional clubs are!

Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/31/2018 9:17:00 AM

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement, Andrea; they mean a lot to me. I do like the cameraderie on Soup; however, I don't feel it helps me to improve my writing (beyond giving me an incentive to write), since there is no actual critique happening. I would love to be part of a live workshop group or something, where people give each other constructive feedback and make suggestions. Don't get me wrong, encouragement is wonderful, but at some point, constructive criticism is needed to point out the flaws oneself does not notice. Does that make sense?

Andrea Dietrich
Date: 8/31/2018 1:05:00 AM

Also, your work is outstanding, Agnes. Do NOT underestimate yourself.

Robert
Lindley

Date: 8/30/2018 3:42:00 PM

Print poetry is ruled by arrogant and established elites. They function as dictators and deliberate crushers of young and/or unknown talent. To garner any real promotion from these "people" one must bow to their demands and their bias. Agree to enslave ones art to their whims, fancies and rules they use to maintain their positions and justifications for they having ruling authority over modern poetry, IMHO. Some of us simply refuse to bow.. Some of us refuse to write/wrap candy for the masses..(we stay true to our hearts) My inner critic and my muse would disown me if I did that, IMHO.. signed, (jaded with just cause)..

Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/31/2018 9:13:00 AM

Thank you for your perspective, Robert. Yes, I have though a lot about the whole issue of conforming to what we think is expected, and I think that cannot work, because we cannot sound authentic if we bend ourselves to others' expectations. I am not quite as jaded; I think there are magazines and anthologies that actively counteract this trend and want to give a forum to new emerging poets. But I don't really know that much about the publishing world...

Leo Larry
Amadore

Date: 8/30/2018 11:45:00 AM

I think your poetry (at least what I have read so far) is certainly worth reading and usually very far from hopelessly amateurish.....We all have that "inner critic" (at least those of us who have any concern at all about writing as well as we can), and we all, also, have our own histories and unique experiences and differences, which affect what we value and disdain. Some published/well-known poets are very academic and have rather rigid views about how poems should be written and what they should not address (many disparage anything very personal and encourage avoiding self-referential topics)...but I say write well, whatever you choose!

Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/31/2018 9:11:00 AM

Thanks, Leo. I am sure we all have that inner critic, and how well we manage to coexist with it varies form time to time :)

Brian
Strand

Date: 8/30/2018 5:14:00 AM

Agnes,One of my other poetic hobbies is to purchase and review published poets that I come across.Over the past year ,alone for example I have revewed 50+ thereof on Amazon. As you know, I am a long -time contest sponsor on PS and have been priviledged to read the poetry of hundreds of poets published here over the past decade or so. I would say there are( and have been) dozens of so called 'hobbiest poets ' here in our workshop who are more than equal to those who have been fortunate enough to be 'print published'.

Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/30/2018 10:59:00 AM

Thanks Brian; I really appreciate your encouragement.

Brian Strand
Date: 8/30/2018 10:15:00 AM

No, you are not deluding yourself Agnes.

Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/30/2018 8:55:00 AM

You are absolutely right, Brian - being published is not a measure for quality. the reason I mentioned the critic commenting on publishing is that I am currently preparing a submission, and reading the magazines always leaves me second guessing whether I am not deluding myself when I think my work should be included. I know that being published is not the same as being "good", but I have come across some really good poets...

Mark
Toney

Date: 8/29/2018 10:41:00 PM

That’s a good question, Agnes. What helps me is acknowledging that I not only have my inner critic but also my inner muse. Sometimes they get along and sometimes they don’t. If I listen to both I maintain my joy. By listening to my inner muse I continue to write. By listening to my inner critic I learn from my mistakes, learn from others and hope in the process I just might get a little better :) This, in addition to the encouragement we get from the comments left by our fellow poets, is enough to keep me going.

Caycay Jennings
Date: 9/1/2018 9:08:00 AM

Hey, Mark - I was going to reply, but you said my thoughts! I'll add that if writing is an inner prompt you've long felt, I believe it is meant to feed you and your journey. I have terrible wars with doubt but a right mood wins the bout using my inherent truths. Like others, my self esteem was parental careened way before I was a teen and I never showed the poems I secretly wrote in my room. If one is here, they are meant to be here, whether for periods of time or a number of experiences. Change your channel, darken doubts station - you feel who you are - a gift to us all. Positive embraces ... CayCay

Agnes Krampe
Date: 8/30/2018 8:52:00 AM

Thanks, Mark, that makes sense. It's about the balance between the muse and the critic. I love my inner critic when she is constructive, but I hate it when she becomes disparaging

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Date Posted	PoemTitle	Form	Categories
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4/25/2020	Mountain Meditation	Free verse	nature,spiritual,
4/24/2020	Lifeline	Free verse	depression,
4/21/2020	Lesson From a Dandelion	Free verse	leaving,loss,
4/5/2020	Fortunate Magnolia	Free verse	hope,
3/28/2020	Never Too Late	Free verse	growth,inspirational,
1/23/2020	Unconditional	Free verse	love,
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1/22/2020	Do Not Believe In Omens	Sonnet	life,
1/22/2020	Goals For Today	Free verse	introspection,
1/21/2020	White Lay On Schuman Lake the Snow	Quatrain	funny,winter,
1/19/2020	Cracked	Free verse	words,
1/17/2020	Waiting For Snow	Free verse	winter,
1/16/2020	Riddled	Free verse	allegory,nature,
4/28/2019	Procrastination	Free verse	poetry,writing,
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3/21/2019	Equinox	Free verse	spring,
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12/26/2018	Amazing Grace	Free verse	christmas,music,tribute,
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10/19/2018	Test	Free verse	education,
10/17/2018	Program Sonnet	Free verse	computer,
10/5/2018	Traveling Light	Free verse	nature,
9/28/2018	I Wander the Desert Alone	Free verse	nature,
9/27/2018	I Have Known	Free verse	life,
8/27/2018	Wind Chimes	Free verse	rain,summer,
8/13/2018	I Learn To Live With the Silence	Free verse	loss,
8/13/2018	Magicicada13: the Heart of the Matter	Free verse	nature,
8/8/2018	Full Circle	Free verse	age,loss,
7/16/2018	Making Room	Free verse	age,goodbye,
7/12/2018	Evening Performance	Free verse	nature,night,
7/9/2018	Climbing Mt Hope	Free verse	inspirational,mountains,
7/2/2018	Mountain Meditation	Free verse	mountains,nature,spiritua
6/29/2018	The Anointing	Free verse	mountains,spiritual,
6/12/2018	Summer	Verse	summer,
6/6/2018	The Gristmill	Free verse	nature,summer,
4/29/2018	Haiku	Haiku	winter,
4/25/2018	April Is Cruel	Free verse	goodbye,leaving,
4/22/2018	Sea Anemones Invaded the Cedars	Free verse	nature,
4/12/2018	The Magnolias Were Magnificent	Free verse	nature,
4/1/2018	Cleaning Out Your Room	Free verse	goodbye,loss,
3/29/2018	Myth	Free verse	myth,sun,
3/11/2018	Therapy	Free verse	nature,
3/10/2018	Green River	Free verse	nature,river,
2/18/2018	Awakening	Free verse	nature,spring,
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10/3/2017	Einstein's Heirs	Free verse	nature,science,
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PoemTitle	Form	Categories
The Tower Rebuilt	Rhyme	hope,
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Autumn Fire	Rhyme	beauty,birth,color,death,
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Waiting For You, the Return of the Light	Rhyme	england,light,longing,nat
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A New Song	Ballad	introspection,new year,
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Alternative Facts	Rhyme	truth,
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Still In Love	Verse	dance,happiness,love,marr
It Matters Not	Quatrain	dark,lost love,
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Come With Me	Lyric
Dust	Haiku	tree,
December	Free verse	christmas,december,winter
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Somber Days	Free verse	day,november,tree,
A Grain of Sand	Free verse	inspirational,
Vanity Thy Name Is Metro-Man	Free verse	men,vanity,
I Dance	Prose Poetry	abuse,dance,music,pain,
Here Lies She	Free verse	death,grave,green,life,me
Twenty Years From Now	Rhyme	death,emotions,humanity,l
A Poetry Collection	Free verse	art,guitar,humanity,intro
Poets	Verse	poets,
Could It Be In Despair	Verse	death,lost love,love,
Bloodstained Leaves of Autumn	Rhyme	autumn,imagery,seasons,sp
summer rain -	Rhyme	bereavement,goodbye,soulm
Hammock of Dust	Dramatic Verse	bereavement,lost love,
Shattering	Pantoum	lonely,lost love,
Beneath the Bearded Oaks	Sonnet	first love,
An Eulogy of Sorts, That, Hopefully, Lends Itself To Daver	Rhyme	appreciation,
Feathered Dreams	Free verse	age,memory,
New Dawn	Couplet	dance,day,dream,grief,hop
to sail the sky -	Couplet	adventure,imagination,met
Elements - Collaboration With White Wolf	Free verse	inspiration,
Love Just Waved Goodbye	Verse	forgiveness,goodbye,grief
Under the Waxing Moon	Alliteration	mystery,
Sonnet For Spring	Italian Sonnet	spring,
Once Upon a Tomorrow	Free verse	dedication,hope,i miss yo
A Love Story	Blank verse	betrayal,heartbreak,lost
My Last Will and Testament	Free verse	dedication,
The Poet	Free verse	poets,
Companion For Life	Sonnet	emotions,life,
Haiku	Haiku	appreciation,world,
Where Are You	Couplet	spring,
Seeking Serenity	Rhyme	beautiful,dream,peace,
Abandon	Sonnet	life,
For This Is the Story, An Old Poet Sought Not To Miss	Rhyme	creation,fantasy,hyperbol
The Green Beneath the Snow	Villanelle	hope,light,nature,seasons
The Poetess	Rhyme	poetess,
Boycott the Ever After	Free verse	dedication,feelings,futur
The Yield	Free verse	moving on,peace,sleep,
From Whence Do Poems Come	Free verse	analogy,appreciation,crea
The Small Room	Free verse	growth,home,life,meaningf
Her Mystical Mantra	Free verse	appreciation,beauty,inspi
The Song of the Wren	Villanelle	bird,myth,nature,passion,
Seeds of Wisdom	Free verse	loneliness,solitude,
The Pause	Senryu	change,introspection,pers
That Summer On the Lake	Free verse	color,imagery,nostalgia,s

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