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POSTING for NIKKO (her worst poetry) - Andrea Dietrich's Blog

About Andrea Dietrich
(Show Details...)
Bloggers Photo

Andrea Dietrich grew up in Iowa and now resides in Utah with a spouse and two cats. She has two grown children and three grandchildren. Having graduated BYU with a Spanish major/ESL minor, she has spent most of her adult life teaching. It wasn't until 2000 that she began writing in earnest and discovering her "niche" as a writer of lyrical poetry. The internet opened up a new world for her, and she has spent nearly a decade now participating in poetry clubs, acting as a judge of poetry contests for various magazines and for the website Shadow Poetry, and also, entering poetry contests herself.

Ms. Dietrich has won numerous awards, as well as the title Poet of the Year 2008, from the Yahoo group, Poetry For Thought. In addition, she has won prizes from the magazines Lucidity, Bell's Letters, Art with Words, Poets at Work and SP Quill, the magazine for which she wrote grammar and poetry articles as well as movie reviews and for which she acted as poetry editor for the head editor Marie Summers for six years. Many of her poems have appeared in Shadows Ink, a yearly published series of chapbooks of award winning poetry as well as in numerous other anthologies. Her short stories appeared in many issues of SP Quill and much of her poetry is published in eight chapbooks (the most recent one soon to be published is called Prosies), which can be purchased at Shadowpoetry.com.


POSTING for NIKKO (her worst poetry)


Blog Posted:4/26/2013 5:14:00 PM
NIKKO (AKA: ENN PEE) has asked me post her worst poetry for her since she is no longer a premium member! I was actually going to ask her if the first one was a mistake or not. Then I read her footnote on it. Can you guys make it out without the translation that follows?


4T4k uv d (w0Rs+) Jej3M0n! ((60 f16Ur3 ))

jajajajaja
jej3jej3e
d1s !z gohNna
beEh kUreZzi
j3j3j3j3j3

hayZ
1 D0n\'+ kn0w h0wZ
+0 +yp3 1n j3j3m0n

m3 saDz nhow
m4k3 m3 $m173
Az iNn NowhZ NaHHH

$0 1\'m U$1n6
+h1$ +R4nzL4+0r

60 f16Ur3

c0hmb1n1n6 my 0wn
+r4n$74+10n 4$ w377

60 f16Ur3

1 D0n\'+ +3x+
+h1$ w4y

r34D1n6 +h1$
61v3$ m3 4 h34D4ch3

60 f16Ur3

j3j3j3
+17 n3x+ +1m3
D4 j3j3m0n
4++4ck$ 4641n

jajajajaja
cge nah p0h
Im/'z G0iHN nahhhh!!
j3j3j3j3j3j3j3j3


**************************
!
Worst poem
would be
this

the absoulute
is came out
from my earS

did'nt
cram 'as 'alwyas

No holds barred~
ok i'm lying...

good luck
to those who tried
to figure the above poem

jajajajajajaja!!


*Note: the above note is not a translation of the text above it...
You'd have to read the jejemon-- Jejemon is sort of a trend here (especially from years before) with some people with regards to texting-- typing in words using symbols & numbers to substitute letters to make them look cuter(?!?), & using a slew of H's, Z's...I inserted some more of my own into it jejejejeje (hehehehe)

This was the poem that I entered in
pd's first worst ever poem contest...




grossimus me

Hmm, what shall I reveal
to you about me?

Ok, how about this:
I collect punchers!
Craft punchers that is,
you know those that have
different shapes as holes?
I could, Punch, punch away all day
well not really
since it hurts my hands!

BUT
speaking of punching,
I did sock a jock
in the guts once
don't ask
why though...
haha the reason
eludes me now
wink, wink,
flying away like a bird

speaking of birds,
believe it or not,
*warning*
this is G-R-O-S-S

I actually know
what a baby bird
feels like

That part of
eating regurgitated food that is
Aack.
If you dare, read on...
if not, STOP right here.

Don't tell me I didn't warn
you.

Flashback grade school days-
me and my friends
enjoying a bag of pork rinds
and vinegar
Me now wanting to eat one last small piece
Ok, this piece is kinda soggy but
the right size

Pop in mouth
Eww too soggy!
No crunch left?! ok, just swallow
the stubborn, chewy piece...
I see my friend searching the bag
Sick to my tummy now

She was looking for that piece
that she chewed on and spit out
oh EWWwww.

fast forward
me at twenty...
family dinner
with my grandpa who loves
to pick his teeth with a toothpick

Almost done with my dinner
Oh!
One last itty bitty piece of
meat left on plate?
Was raised to finish
EVERYTHING on my plate
Pop in mouth--
ugh, cold meat and looked
weird

I glance at Daddy (my grandpa)
I look at his toothpick in hand
He smiles...horrors!!
I sorta get
a tummy ache again.
I never learn.

I never did know for
sure,
but that piece
sure looked suspicious.
*burp*

Speaking of burping,
I can belch REAL loud
I find it sorta refreshing
actually...
well, I'd rather be that
than a fartist~

haha
So what's the point of me telling
you this?
Well I suppose that I can be gross

I hope I'm not the only one!
That and that I tend to think
in a sort of chain reaction way (?)
from punchers to birds to burping
that's gross
go figure.
...now, now
let's not talk about my figure!


**written for a contest about "tell me something I do not know"--
as expected, this didn't win or place...I deleted it soon after, pretty much ashamed
that I actually posted this cringe worthy o_O poem,
but ah yes, I can laugh at myself, & now it resurfaces~!
Please Login to post a comment
Date: 4/29/2013 10:04:00 PM
This is cute, in a kind of distorted way! Maybe even disturbing if you study it! RAY
Login to Reply
Date: 4/27/2013 10:50:00 AM
First off, thank you so much to Andrea for posting this on my behalf. I am actually sleepy but I just wanted to say I read all the comments here. I am laughing, haha, thanks for sharing your thoughts on these. Can I just say that the "grossimus me" poem, even if it's one of my worst, cringe worthy yes but I recall having so much fun writing that, that reason went out the window but hmm yeah that info was probably not what the contest sponsor was thinking of at that time...oops!
Login to Reply
Date: 4/27/2013 9:28:00 AM
Ahh........dear Nikko.....you can do no wrong in my book.........but this came CLOSE !!! lol !! a far cry from our dream weaver's loom of beautiful tapestry! This rug needs a beating !!!
Login to Reply
Date: 4/26/2013 9:33:00 PM
You think that is gross? We used to stick our bubblegum (well chewed) to the headboard of our beds, at night - for the life of me, I cannot remember why we did this....The one morning I was woken early by a commotion in my sisters' room. They were fighting over who's chewing gum it was and insisted that the the other one spat it out and return it to the rightful owner. By the time my mother arrived on the scene, the bubblegum had been swapped and each one was happily chewing on her piece. Needless to say, my mother did not only confiscate the offending pieces, but banned bubblegum all together. Till today I do not chew bubblegum - that scene had cured me of the habit. :-) Love, Su
Login to Reply
Date: 4/26/2013 8:18:00 PM
I kinda enjoyed the gross one....but then...its me we're talking about. Now the first one....well...i've seen such 'code' before but I couldn't catch all of this one. What I did catch was....well....in the running. LOVE YOU NIKKO!!
Login to Reply
Date: 4/26/2013 6:02:00 PM
lol, I do recall both poems. the poem is definitely in the contest.... Andrea, now I'm wondering if you dare to post one... wink! wink! xox~ pd
Login to Reply
Date: 4/26/2013 5:16:00 PM
ah yes, I do recall that second one!!! Stunning stuff, nearly on the same level with Chris' vomiticus.
Login to Reply

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My Photos


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Fav Poems

PoemTitleFormCategories
The Stone Elegydeath,love,
A Winter Night Lyricimagination,nature,
Violin Personificationdeath,love,rose,
Just wait and see Free versenature,science,space,
My White Lace Tablecloth Narrativefamily,forgiveness,friend
A LIMERICK CHRISTMAS THREE (3) . Limerickfunny,seasons,thank you,c
ALWAYS MOTHERS DAY Rhymefunny,mother,thank you,me
A Pirate Jay Light Poetryanimals,
Divine Splendor Blank verseintrospection,nature,scie
BROTHER - BILLY Narrativebrother,childhood,family,
Umbrella Personificationconfusion,devotion,life,l
You played me Personificationconfusion,imagination,mus
Concept of Time Free versenature
JINGLE Free versefunny,life,music
AN EVER-CHANGING UNIVERSE Narrativemysterylight,light,univer
TRANSCENDENCE Tankafantasy,imagination,natur
My Partner, my Life Free versehusband,
Spaces .... The Earth Moved ..... Imagismlove
December Sun . Rhymenaturewinter,sun,winter,
A Whisper on the Wind Personificationnature,
Footsteps Free versefatherme,me,
If ever Free verselove
Dreams like Light-Waves Prose Poetryimaginationautumn,
A fantsy world Haiku 
SEPTEMBER SONG (triple tanka) Tankanature
Where The Sycamore Grew Narrativeautumn,family,house,life,
Perfect Nature Haikunature
Wild Love Narrativegarden,love,rose,sweet,
Positive Perspective Tankainspirational
My Pilot Light Verseinspirational,introspecti
Love's Echos Free verselovevoice,love,me,voice,
For Wifey Rhymeloveme,love,me,i love you
Alabaster Night Free versenature,planet,sea,
Causalities of War Elegydeath,war,
" Ike and Jane "- sequence 2 Light Poetryfunny,love,wifeme,me,time
Pretty orchids Free versecaregiving,happiness,hope
Even a Sparrow Soars Free verseanimals
My Piano Knows Versedevotion,happiness,holida
Dancing with the Stars Free versenature,scienceblue,
The Unrequited Mantra Free versedevotion,hope,lost love,l
FIG TREE, NEW YEAR'S DAY Narrativenaturewinter,winter,new y
Poets At-Large Free verselife,
to know you Free versedevotion,husband
Moved to Tears by Josh Groban Versemusic,on writing and word
sequence-SONNET Lanternelife,love,on writing and
Reflections Free versehappiness,life,lovesun,
Somber Is the Color of The Day Free verseday,light,me,winter,words
A Winter Rose - A Sonnet Sonnetrose,winter,
The Word Weaver Free verseintrospection,lifeme,
Each Day a Gift Free verseinspirational,introspecti
Contrary Kisses Free verseinspirational,introspecti
She Waits... Free verseart,hopelonging,
Blue Heaven Haikunature
A DEATH IN THE SUN Free versehope,seasons
My Reason For Living Free versehusband
Terra Firma Haikunature,science,time
How Could I have Known Free versehusband,love,mystery
True Poetry in Motion? Free verseinspirationalmay,
Frozen in Time Free verseseasonssnow,snow,
FORGOTTEN TREASURE Light Poetryadventure,art,beauty,enco
Putting on Makeup Rhymeintrospection,sad,
Desire Light Poetrylife,lost love,love,
Love? Bah! Rhymelost love,lovelove,
Real Life Shoe Fable Clerihewhusband
BLACK and BLUE Rhymeabuse,funny,husband,me,
More Than A Dream Free versededication,holiday,intros
Foreboding Haikumystery,nature
A Song at Sunrise Coupletfaithsong,song,
BEAT OUT THE RHYTHM Rhymefunny
What Do The Stars Tell A Lover's Heart Free verseadventure,fantasy,happine
The green checkered face Free versefood,happinessheart,heart
Play It Free verseinspirational,love,music,
Twilight's Fading Light Free verselife,nature
Marble in Columns on Green Coupletbrother,daughter,father,h
I Will Be Strong Free verseangst,husband,lossme,
The Beauty of Yore Free versenostalgia
Wandering Soul Free versehappiness,inspirational,n
Sunset on Galway Bay (Haiku No. 34) Haikuinspirational
TRANSFORMATION I do not know?allegory
If You Are Lonely Free verseinspirational,introspecti
Time Out Free versedepression,devotion,fanta
Winter Promise Free versenature
The Man on Brunswick Drive Free verseintrospection,people
I Am..(Tagged by raul, now i'm tagging Elaine george). Free verseintrospectionbeautiful,be
Brown Sands Lyricintrospection,lifemystery
Dancing at a Temple Rhymedevotion,
DAYBREAK UP HIGH Free verseinspirational
Tea For Two Free verseintrospectionme,me,
Peak District United Kingdom Prose Poetryinspirational
PAPER I do not know?allegoryme,
NINE O'CLOCK Limerickfunny
Frozen Memories Tankaart
Summer's Voice Free verseseasons
Lazy Day Free verselife,nature
I Was Me Biolife,
The First Kiss or That Darn Ann Landers Lyricme,nostalgia,song,travel,
Crimsom Beauty Dramatic monologueangst
Red Geraniums Free verse 
ZOO FRIGHT Limerickfunny
As I hid Monokumuse,

Fav Poets

12
PoetCountry 
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daver austin United States Flag United States Read
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James Foulk United States Flag United States Read
Rick Parise United States Flag United States Read
Debbie Guzzi United States Flag United States Read
Barbara Gorelick United States Flag United States Read
Michelle Mac Donald Canada Flag Canada Read
Charmaine Chircop Malta Flag Malta Read
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen United States Flag United States Read
James Fraser United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Jayne Eggins Australia Flag Australia Read
kabuteng P.iNk k. Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Joyce Johnson United States Flag United States Read
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Linda-Marie SweetHeart Italy Flag Italy Read
Maurice Rigoler United States Flag United States Read
Samir Georges Canada Flag Canada Read
Connie Marcum Wong United States Flag United States Read
Margaret Foster Australia Flag Australia Read
Nick Bagnall United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
SKAT A United States Flag United States Read
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Poet Destroyer A United States Flag United States Read
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Timothy Brumley United States Flag United States Read
Wilma Neels South Africa Flag South Africa Read
Rauwolfia Ra South Africa Flag South Africa Read
Sharon Tideswell United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Tahera Mannan India Flag India Read
Carol Fillmore Canada Flag Canada Read
Jerri Ward United States Flag United States Read
nette onclaud Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Sidney Beck Russian Federation Flag Russian Federation Read
kash poet India Flag India Read
Mystic Rose Canada Flag Canada Read
Gwendolen Song United States Flag United States Read
Tony Lane United States Flag United States Read
jack horne United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
gautami phookan India Flag India Read
Black Eyed Susan United States Flag United States Read
Cyndi MacMillan Canada Flag Canada Read
ilene bauer United States Flag United States Read
Matt Hunt United States Flag United States Read
David Williams United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Yesha Shah India Flag India Read
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Mandy Tams The Golden Girl United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
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Robert Ludden United States Flag United States Read
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Richard Lamoureux Canada Flag Canada Read
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Monterey Sirak United States Flag United States Read
manel gunatillake Sri Lanka Flag Sri Lanka Read
richard ferry United States Flag United States Read
Eileen Manassian _Not Listed Flag _Not Listed Read
Jon A Cavanaugh United States Flag United States Read
Sandra Adams United States Flag United States Read
Kelly Deschler United States Flag United States Read
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Roger Horsch United States Flag United States Read
Mark Peterson United States Flag United States Read
Stephen Kilmer United States Flag United States Read
DARREN WATSON United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Faye Gibson United States Flag United States Read
Aiyah de Torres Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Andrea Dietrich United States Flag United States Read
Casarah Nance United States Flag United States Read
Paul Callus Malta Flag Malta Read
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Maurice Yvonne Canada Flag Canada Read
12