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WHEN POETRY IS PERSONAL... footnotes, background, revelations... PROVIDING KEYS TO LOCKS - Cyndi Macmillan's Blog

About Cyndi Macmillan
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Cyndi MacMillan lives in a small town in Ontario that is home to North America’s largest working waterwheel. Her writing has appeared in notable Canadian literary journals and local newspapers. 

A Cruel Light is her debut gothic mystery (4/4/2023). She has been a Jill-of-all-trades, but for as long as she can remember, she has dreamt of being a novelist.  Hard work and the wonderful team at Crooked Lane Books have made that dream a reality.  Please note that her husband and daughter kindly keep her coffee mug filled when she is wrestling with a suspenseful chapter.   During a pandemic lockdown, the family adopted a rescue cat who chirps. 

When not writing, Cyndi enjoys reading Gothics, scrapbooking, and losing horribly at board games.  Works-in-progress include the second (and third) Annora Garde Mystery, a Canadian noir series, and a standalone horror mystery, so more often than not, Cyndi is writing.  She is a member of Crime Writers of Canada.

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WHEN POETRY IS PERSONAL... footnotes, background, revelations... PROVIDING KEYS TO LOCKS

Blog Posted:2/10/2013 12:29:00 PM




Su’s most recent blog is thought provoking. Please, read it! Among other things, it calls into question the assumption which poets often make on what is deemed common knowledge.

Now, it got me really pondering what we relay in our verses. I was thinking about the... responsibility?... that poets PUSH onto the readers. Poetry, to me, is meant to be … streamlined. Explanation shouldn't be inserted into a poem, the way some poets force rhyme, sacrificing art for clarity.

If one reads about deep sea diving it should read as the experience of the diver, not as  a step by step guide on how to put on the scuba gear.

When a 13 year old reads Flander's Fields and has no concept of war and its toll, then that youngster must be given the background in order to understand the poem.

We all must have enough of a glimmer to "get it." Sure, some things are universal: love, pain, longing, forgiveness, truth, food and sleep and regret...

And yet I believe everything, all life’s experiences, merit the ability to be preserved, celebrated or lamented, in poetry.

EVERYTHING.

So, where does that leave the poet?

FOOTNOTES!

Please, if I haven’t lost you, read this poem:


Embroidered Dreams

Embroidered dreams pierce one long night,
Your silken floss pulled its invite,
Needles prick the small child in me,
Haunted by shadowed tapestry,
Those knots you made of dark and light.

I watch your hands, so pale and slight,
Lift and plunge with thin strands of white,
Before dawn breaks my heart I see
                                                Embroidered dreams

I sit at your feet, so contrite,
While frayed threads are tugged much too tight,
Each stitch that you left holds snugly,
But what you shaped longs to rip free,
All comes undone and now I write
                                                Embroidered dreams


This is a highly personal poem.

I posted this on soup, entered it into a contest and received some lovely comments in regards to its language.

Now, what this poem is about…

I am dreaming of my mother who was bipolar, at the time called manic depressive.

She loved to embroider and passed this hobby down to me. As a young girl, I often would just sit beside her and watch her motions, fascinated by the process of stitch and knot. Embroidery is an art.

Her condition was hidden from me and I did not understand her mood swings, often violent and frightening. Her emotions were complex and engulfed her family.When manic--- when she was happy--- oh, she was delightful… de-light-filled. Engaging, captivating, sweet and loving.  She was a petite, pretty woman with patrician features. Her hands were doll like, small but with long, dainty fingers.

Then there was my ‘other mother.’ Her anger was terrifying. After trying to kill my father on her 45th birthday, she got drunk and hung herself with an electric cord in a stairwell. I got the call just before dawn. I was devastated by the news. I was there to see the body bag rolled out on a gurney.  I went through her things and donated them to the Salvation Army. I was a teen. It took over 25 years to let go of guilt for not being able to help her.

I loved and still love my mother, regardless of what transpired, the rage, occasional beatings, and the things which she said to me that no child should EVER hear. Decades after her suicide, I still miss her. I battle with memories, try to hold on to the dear ones while letting the horrific ones go. Mothers MOLD us as children and as adults we are apt to examine, closely, who we have become, who we truly want to be.

Bipolar mimics the movements one uses to embroider clothe. Up and down. Down then up. It pierces. The thread can seem pretty at times, frayed and wrought at others. One needs to see the whole picture, looking at it from only the front shows only one side. Turn it around. See the workings, the knots, the frayed ends…

Now, if you have time, please, read my poem again, perhaps a tad slower.
What do you see now?.
What do you know now of its heart?


Embroidered Dreams

Embroidered dreams pierce one long night,
Your silken floss pulled its invite,
Needles prick the small child in me,
Haunted by shadowed tapestry,
Those knots you made of dark and light.

I watch your hands, so pale and slight,
Lift and plunge with thin strands of white,
Before dawn breaks my heart I see
                                                Embroidered dreams

I sit at your feet, so contrite,
While frayed threads are tugged much too tight,
Each stitch that you left holds snugly,
But what you shaped longs to rip free,
All comes undone and now I write
                                                Embroidered dreams


Thoughts? Fire away!

And please read Su's blog! VERY INTERESTING!


Please Login to post a comment
Date: 2/11/2013 1:09:00 PM
I like the way you fit all of the emotions into the rondeau form. B-P is different with each iindividual and meds now are so much more advanced. I have these same dreams for my daughter.
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Grisetti Avatar
Joann Grisetti
Date: 2/11/2013 1:10:00 PM
I like the idea of a weekly interview.
Date: 2/11/2013 9:47:00 AM
Of course Sis, you know I got this the first time...I would for it runs in my family also [thank goodness so far I only have anxiety issues controlled with diet exercise, yoga & meditation]. Back to your original tac .. footnotes etc. I feel the write should grab the reader in such a way that if there are a few things they don't get GOOD that helps them grow! Off they go to research a word! BUT if the write is not evocative, is strictly dry and scholarly most will just stop reading it. Lastly, at certain times of life certain things appeal, what you couldn't get into at 20 might capitivate you at 60. [PS sort my verse for Mother poems & for the word knots]
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Date: 2/10/2013 4:42:00 PM
This was a heart wrenching confession Cyndi and as you wrote it I can imagine how much you had to let go of so that we could have knowlege of it. Life is confusing at the best of times with moments of beauty and terror; we are expected to react with some degree of normalcy but often that is not possible. Your poem is the testimony of a child's confusion and through it all, enduring love.
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Macmillan Avatar
Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 2/10/2013 7:18:00 PM
Lizzy-Dear, yes, it was all so confusing. My mother taught me many things which contradict the chaos of my childhood. One was honesty, at all costs. We each have stories, a thousand chapters, yes? Some are lovely... some, well.... there is no way to convey an entire life into a poem. Only snipets. Hugs to you. I DOOOO think of you. :)
Date: 2/10/2013 2:34:00 PM
I'm enjoying reading these comments, each with great points. I also understand that each point of view comes with its own history, experiences and interpretations that I can not possibly grasp, unless these are shared with me, as well. Will comment to all personally, later. Dinner calls! Motherhood calls! My family is on the way home ... hugs Cyndi
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Date: 2/10/2013 12:56:00 PM
Cyndi I think I am going to sound a tad trite when I say I knew where you were coming from the first time I read your poem, but that is only because I had ' problems' with both of my parents (both dead now) and you are right, we as the adults do examine ourselves but if you are like me then there are no answers to be extracted. I do have another take on what you are saying because when it comes from to it I would rather 'Show not Tell' where possible I would rather take the risk and make the reader stop and think or even better read it again. I like your poem it does paint a good picture...
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Macmillan Avatar
Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 2/10/2013 7:47:00 PM
Not trite, at all :) I sometimes think the pen just has a mind of its own. I do edit. Rethink a twist of thought, too much of this, not enough of that... I show as much as possible, and (I think) the bottom line is that poetry should first be written to please its author. Or else why write it at all, eh, chum? Hugs to you and the Mrs!

My Past Blog Posts

 
Ekphrastic Writing Within Fiction. An Article published in CRIMEREADS
Date Posted: 5/10/2023 10:26:00 AM
Publishing News, a Dream Come True, and an Article on Ekphrastic Writing
Date Posted: 4/15/2023 5:52:00 AM
A WRITER'S DREAM COME TRUE
Date Posted: 7/19/2022 7:17:00 AM
My novel will be published by Crooked Lane Books
Date Posted: 3/21/2022 12:16:00 PM
HOW THE POSITION OF POET LAUREATE HAS CHANGED
Date Posted: 11/6/2017 3:12:00 PM
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS? OPEN DISCUSSION.
Date Posted: 10/24/2017 7:59:00 PM
Emotion in poetry: laying it on heavy by leaving it to the reader, a response to Brian's Blog
Date Posted: 9/1/2017 5:00:00 PM
POETRY TOOLBOX SERIES: CONNOTATION
Date Posted: 7/12/2017 8:51:00 AM
RESOURCE LINKS TO POETRY JOURNALS & EXCELLENT POETRY ARTICLES. HELP YOURSELF :)
Date Posted: 6/12/2017 5:27:00 PM
A HAIKU SHABU SHABU PUB - SHOP TALK & SMALL TALK.
Date Posted: 6/9/2017 8:07:00 PM
THE POETRY PUB: SMORGASBORD
Date Posted: 5/26/2017 9:14:00 PM
THE POETRY PUB: CONTEMPORARY RHYME & THE NEW FORMALISM
Date Posted: 5/5/2017 12:19:00 PM
***EDIT. ALL FIVE MOSIACS COMPLETE. THANKS FOR PLAYING THE WORD PAIRING GAME. THE PAIRINGS WERE AWESOME!
Date Posted: 4/20/2017 2:06:00 PM
POETRY PUB: EMOTIVE. READ AND BLEED.****EDIT*****MORE ON THE POEM GRIEF!
Date Posted: 3/20/2017 11:32:00 PM
POET PUB: LET THERE BE LIGHT... (and poetics, friendly disagreements, shared observations and hot apple cider...)
Date Posted: 1/15/2017 9:11:00 AM
5 PROOF BLOG. IF YOU ENTERED A POEM, PLEASE READ THIS. JOIN IN ON THE DISCUSSION.
Date Posted: 2/25/2016 11:16:00 AM
POET PUB, TONIGHT'S SPECIAL: EXTRA TENDER, EASY TO DIGEST
Date Posted: 1/25/2016 9:40:00 PM
THE POET PUB, GRAND OPENING, NO WIFI, WARM SEATS
Date Posted: 1/11/2016 9:28:00 PM
CONTEST: 5 PROOF: FREE VERSE THAT SHOWS IT AIN'T NO PROSE
Date Posted: 12/23/2015 6:30:00 AM
A CLOSER LOOK AT PUNCTUATION. SOME, PLENTY, NONE.
Date Posted: 5/25/2015 10:05:00 PM
WORK WORK WORK! WAY TO GO! AND HOW TO USE AN ELLIPSIS.
Date Posted: 5/16/2015 8:51:00 AM
FARMHOUSE: Uncommon word pairings poem #2
Date Posted: 4/9/2015 6:02:00 PM
WHATTA PAIR YOU GOT THERE: A WORKSHOP ON IMAGERY AND WORD PAIRINGS
Date Posted: 4/7/2015 9:30:00 PM
MEMORIAL TRIBUTE ON THE CONTEST PAGE: A WORD COLLAGE FOR CHAN. PLEASE, Take up the challenge. <3
Date Posted: 11/10/2014 9:30:00 AM
A LOVE-IN & WAKE FOR CHAN. ALL SOUPERS WELCOME. PLEASE ADD SOMETHING.
Date Posted: 11/9/2014 10:03:00 AM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
7/25/2023 The Library's Book Sonnetemotions,feelings,poems,p
9/20/2018 The Yield Free versemoving on,peace,sleep,
10/20/2017 Dinner Guest: Me Free verseemotions,longing,rude,
9/20/2017 Toothsome Free verselife,poetry,writing,
9/5/2017 The San Antonio Night Crossing Free versechange,death,immigration,
8/23/2017 Turning the Other Cheek Free versechristian,hate,people,
8/16/2017 Whatever Happened To the Real Poets Free versepoetry,political,society,
6/18/2017 Fetal Position In the Er Sestinadeath,heartbreak,my child
6/7/2017 Well Understood Free versefeelings,language,people,
6/4/2017 I'D Rather Write About Free versepoetry,writing,,memorial,
5/19/2017 The Palm-Chats of Jalousie, Haiti Free verseanalogy,bird,humanity,lif
5/4/2017 Water, Water Free verseafrica,sympathy,
11/18/2016 We, Nasty Women Ekphrasisallegory,history,politica
5/22/2016 The Chronicles of a Phonophobic Free versefear,life,people,
5/6/2015 Tail Spin, Revised Free versecourage,fear,love hurts,
11/10/2014 Chan Free versefriend,goodbye,
1/31/2014 Journey Companions: the Friend Sonnets Part Ii Sonnetfriend,hero,places,poetry
1/29/2014 Divine Steeples Sonnetfriend,love,places,poetry
1/26/2014 Muse Sonnetfriend,love,places,poetry

My Photos


Fav Poems

PoemTitleFormCategories
The Sowing Free versedevotion,
Ten Little Toes Rhymedaughter,lifeold,old,gran
Woodland Rhapsody Quatraininspirational,
Contradicting Keats Sonnetintrospection,life
Surrender To Love Rhymeloveme,
A Totum Pole Ode Concretenative american,people,
More Dreams To Row Rhymeinspirational,life,
When the Tab Comes Due Free verseinspirational,introspecti
Lighting My Candle From Within Quintain (English)caregiving,introspection,
The Kirk By the Sea Coupletnostalgia,religion,love,
Moonlight on the Ward Chokahealth,life,
Nocturnal Poetry Rhymeimagination,life,poetry,
Slumber Epicdedication,slam,
Frosty Night Stroll Coupletinspirational,seasons,
Our Thanksgiving Light Verseholiday,
My Country 'Tis of Thee Ethereepeace,
A New Star Shines Above Hawaii Rhymededication,music,
Monarch of Summer Haibunanimals,devotion,inspirat
Untouched Rhymeforgiveness,me,me,
Beaucoup Blooms Terza Rimanature,spring,spring,
On Heaven's Doorway Narrativeinspirational,life,care,c
Walking On Faith Versefaith,children,
Sleepless Nights Narrativeangst,imagination,mystery
Another Face Rhymelost love,
Paired Parings Balladchildhood,
Friend To Friend Haikupeople,philosophy,
Calligraphy Verseon writing and words,
Cyndi Sonnetdedication,
Night Comes Rhymetime,
Without Hope's Gleam Terzanelleflower,hope,joy,paradise,
When Your Dead Your Dead Rhymefriendship,love,wife,
Chamber Music Chopped Blank versemusic,
Down Fall Italian Sonnetbeautiful,miracle,nature,
After My Prayer Haikuinspirational,
To Kashinath and Cyndi Rhymededication,devotion,frien
God Forbid Coupletangst,devotion,write,life
Cherished Sonnetlove,peace,
Onward Christian Soldiers Rhyme 
Bliss State Quatrainfaith,
Westward Movement Free versedevotion,love,peace,
In Stillness Free versechange,life,
A Tribute To Leonora G Dramatic Versedeath,deep,evil,sorrow,st
The Rocking Chair Rhymechild,christmas,sister,
In the Mood Light Verseadventure,woman,
To the Rescue Rhymesnow,
Release Free verseencouraging,grief,hope,st
Beyond Tears Rhymechild,encouraging,hope,,L
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis Epicabuse,analogy,art,corrupt
Dewberry Cobbler Haibungrowing up,
To Love Myself Sonnetlove,new year,self,
The Byway Rhymecare,
Within Reason- Maurice Yvonne and Seren Roberts Verselife,
Candles of Your Fingers Light Versedeath,memory,missing you,
Softly Sonnetpoetry,
The Skeletons and Songs of Samsara - 1 Crown of Sonnetsbirth,death,life,
Inner City Free versecity,
My Own Way Free verseadventure,life,self,

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
Debbie Guzzi United States Flag United States Read
Caryl Muzzey United States Flag United States Read
Joe Flach United States Flag United States Read
Nette Onclaud Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Poet Tacito United States Flag United States Read
Elizabeth Wesley Canada Flag Canada Read
Rhonda Johnson-Saunders United States Flag United States Read
Carrie Richards United States Flag United States Read
Kathryn Collins United States Flag United States Read
David Williams United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Charmaine Chircop Malta Flag Malta Read
Francine Roberts Canada Flag Canada Read
Faye Gibson United States Flag United States Read
Hannington Mumo Kenya Flag Kenya Read
Lora Robinson United States Flag United States Read
John Lawless United States Flag United States Read
Kabuteng P.Ink K. Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Roy Jerden United States Flag United States Read
Anthony Mark United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Brian Strand United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Charlotte Puddifoot United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Joann Grisetti United States Flag United States Read
Painted Hunter United States Flag United States Read
Connie Marcum Wong United States Flag United States Read
Tim Ryerson United States Flag United States Read
Olusegun Arowolo Nigeria Flag Nigeria Read
Becca Teagan United States Flag United States Read
Royal Ninja United States Flag United States Read
Justin Bordner United States Flag United States Read
Garth Von Buchholz Canada Flag Canada Read
Jim Howe United States Flag United States Read
Shronda Wilson United States Flag United States Read
Sneha Rv India Flag India Read
Agnes Krampe United States Flag United States Read

Book: Reflection on the Important Things