11. 'Doc, I can't stop singing: 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.
Doc says, 'That
sounds like the Tom Jones Syndrome. '
Is it common, doc?'
'Well, it's not unusual.'
12. A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet. 'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you
can do for him?'
'Well,' says the vet, 'let's have a look at him.' and he
picks up the dog and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put
him down.'
'What? --- because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'
13. Guy goes into the doctor's. 'Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my
bottom.'
'How's that?'
'Oh, don't you start.'
No 14. What do you call
a fish with no eyes? --- a fsh.
No 15. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure,
you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'
No 16.
Apparently, 1 in5 people in the world is Chinese. There
are 5 people in my family so one of them must be Chinese. It's either my mum or my Dad --- or my older
brother Colin --- or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu --- but I think it's Colin.
No 17.
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'Your
round.' The second one replies, 'So are
you, you fat bastard!'
No 18.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
No 19.
'You know, somebody actually complimented me on my
driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking
Fine.' So that was nice.'
No 20 .
A man walked into the doctor's, he said, 'I've hurt my arm in several places'
The doctor said, 'Well don't go there any more'
No 21.
Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this
morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and rescue workers have
recovered 2826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging
continues into the night.