Best Duke Beaufort Poems

Below are the all-time best Duke Beaufort poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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I can only hand it to you

Tapped messages go out direct
With phones it's an easy connect
Thoughts from a finger
In cyberspace linger
But touching's too much to expect

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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December 21, 2012

The world as we know it will end!
This warning the Mayans did send
But yes there's still time
After reading this rhyme
To honor Black Friday and spend

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2012

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Woosh vs Zroooom--a limerick joke

A vacuum cleaner should glide
And relief from messes provide
It is quite unlike
Harley Davidson's bike
Since the dirtbag's on the inside



Author's note: Someone told me this vapid joke at work today, so I framed it as above--enjoy!

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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The pen versus the sword

The incorrect usage of tense
And phrases of total nonsense
Wipe out brain status
With more apparatus
Than the Department of Defense

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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You can't have one without the other

The concept of gays in a marriage
One side loves and one will disparage
But rule supreme court
And one side must retort
Justice just had a miscarriage


Author's note:  Regardless of the outcome from the supreme court, I happen to favor gay marriage.  There really is no other conclusion since we are a land of equal rights.  We should do all we can to foster a society without discrimination.  The arguments against these rights reveal a lot about certain people of religious persuasion.  It would be comical if it were not so sad.

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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Cut, cut, cut

From upon a ladder’s high ledges
It’s time to trim up the edges
Each critical slice
Makes topiary nice
And forms the most pleasing hedges

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2011

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a med-it-ation

My writing requires an edit
After each line I regret it
It can't get much worse
Load this verse in a hearse
As readers try to forget it

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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Ode to occupy wall street

The middle class here can't be saved
When 0.001% act so depraved
Their wealth without end
These royals* still pretend
Did not come from us—their 
enslaved**


*The Royals: CEOs, Banksters, Revolving Door Regulators, The FED, Congressmen for sale, Lobbyists, Board Members of Big Corporations, Major Shareholders who vote for these Board 
Members, Corrupt Managers, Dishonest Used Car Salesmen, Presidential Candidates with more than two Residences, Elected Presidents (and their lackeys who pretend to regulate but look the other way)

**The Enslaved: Workers, Career Regulators who are trying to protect the public, Honest Hard Working Citizens, Students--some with oppressive loans, Immigrants, Soldiers, Police, Firemen and Firewomen, Parents, Children, Orphans, Disabled, The Sick, Small Business Owners (who don’t hire lobbyists), Volunteers, Health Care Workers, Welfare Recipients, Inventors, Investors, Entrepreneurs, Actors, Artists, Journalists who do in-depth investigation (not like those with FOX News, ABC Radio or many other of the outlets where they mouth the status quo), Non Profit Corporations, Charities, Teachers, Transportation Workers, Waiters and Waitresses, Dishwashers, Servants, Farmers, Managers, Ship Hands, Cooks, Unemployed   

Author' s Note:  Have been at Occupy Wall Street 8 days in the past two months--which is why I haven't been here--plus I have to work.  Miss you all, but it's for a good cause.  I am very briefly seen on Conan's feature: Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Occupy Wall Street if you are looking for some humor with a little umph.

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2011

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The forgotten language

Mystery symbols in our dreams
Are night's telegrams with strange themes
To grasp the message
Of what these scenes presage
The ancients knew decoding schemes


Author's note: Our inability and lack of desire to interpret dreams in the "modern age" is partly the result of our reliance on reason and science.  Our predecessors would be shocked at how illiterate we are when it comes to this skill.  Eric Fromm's book with the same title as this poem makes this exact point.  It is unfortunate that modern man can not properly decipher these gems of information from the subconscious.

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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limerick joke III

Toilet tissue is like the starship
Enterprise in that they both slip
Around Uranus
And zip up heinous
Klingons to ferry on a trip

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2015

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