Best Jim David Poems

Below are the all-time best Jim David poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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The Gulf

They take
We rake!

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

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The perspective of a Halloween candle....

Bright, orange, white, flicker.....
Two black eyes, one dark mouth viewed,
I'm the flame inside

They trim the flesh out
Stubby children's hands; entrails
I'm the flame inside

My face-like windows
My removable roof-top
I'm the flame inside

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

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Keep it polite, please......(my WORST poem ever!!!!)

Four Ugly Colored Kittens 
Often Fight Fatigue

Sugar Honey Iced Tea
Helps Everything Any Day

Darn Umpire Misjudged Ball
Can't Understand Normal Thinking

Gary Only Dreamed Darla Answered Mail Now
As She Started Having Other Liaisons Earnestly

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

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Last Bell.....

Man, I remember the thrumming of that last bell of the school year.....
Like a prisoner being furloughed into the warm sun, buzzing of grasshoppers.
Field stickers burrowing into your ankles, joyfully, while you take the wrong way/long way 
The sound of whispering gold as your armplane wings dislodge future assaulters of ankles.
I always liked sighs in the summer.....those sweet drones were the tones of freedom.
In the distance you hear Shirley scream as Brad tells EVERYBODY she likes Ralph...
You knew you should be gettin' home, but, confound it, this one brief moment was yours. 
There was a sound, like a shell to the ear, of all you had learned, escaping as if under 
To thwart it was to stop a tsunami with an umbrella.....ineffectual....unnoticed.
But, also vacant, was common sense; probably why I went Jake's way that day....
Oh, he was there, lurking...lying in wait for my almost clock-work arrival.
Many a day I had screamed a million insults at him as he chased me like Satan,
Hoping "today" wasn't the day he caught up with me.
His exhalations never sounded labored, as if he was letting me get ahead.....
But not today!!!!!.....I JUMP......He LUNGES......and his teeth gain purchase on my seat!!!!
However, I escape....My bottom, that much cooler than it was before and will probably be 
Home.......... you see mom in the kitchen, drinking sun tea and waiting for you to arrive....
"So, How was school?"..."Uh, fine, I guess."     "What did you learn today?"......."Uh, to never 
underestimate the value of Gym Class!!"......"Well," she says, "if you took home economics, 
you'd be able to fix up your pants before Dad gets home and sees your underwear!!"......

Parents NEVER respect an Adventurer's near-fatal exploits!!!

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

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What Choice??

You insist that I only choose one
Finite human or god in the sun
Man has long pondered this
But as to my wish
I'll face death and have ALL the fun!!

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

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How Mr Pie came to rule the world

It all started when Mr. Pie was a little bugger,
Just a wisp of fluff in the palm of your hand.
"Oh, isn't mama's little man the most handsomest EVER?!"
Not a day has gone by when he has argued that point!
"Be careful with all that encouragement" I prophetically warned,
"It may go straight to his head!!"....and what a head it became!!
Grey, dignified, regal....a lions mane with white marbling.
2 golden eyes piercing you with that casually bored stare one may give to one's shoes.

Every morning at 8 am and every night at 10 pm he demonstrates his knowledge of time.
Head-butting the door and SCREAMING the words "MOM!!! 
MAAAWWWMMMM!!......NOW???!!???.........MOM???   NOWWWWW??" (for real!!)
Needless to say, he's got us trained pretty well,
But we're still working on house-breaking me!!!!!
He still has yet to teach us PROPER portion control,
And I get the impression I'm not so popular when I give less than expected.
Maybe it's the "Death-threat" stare, or maybe the Kitty Log in my slippers, I don't know!

All I can tell you is don't EVER make the mistake of addressing him as a "cat"
Or you may come to know the justice of King Pie, The Terrible........just a warning!!

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

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Missing 'Link'

I first met him in July, seventeen years later
I was shocked to see how much he looked like his maternal uncle
So nothing like me except, maybe, the eyes...yeah, the eyes
"Hi, Alex, I'm Jim." We shook hands and I pulled him into an "ambush" hug
"You can blame your aunt for this", I whispered in his ear
"She made me PROMISE that I would" I said out loud
We jabbered like two magpies the 60 miles home
I started to realize we had many of the sames tastes AND views
We had never known each other; I was never involved in his development
His mom and stepfather were my polar opposites in every aspect
Somehow, two divergent paths had met in the middle to find so much common ground
I started to realize my absence hadn't done as much damage as I had thought
He was cool about it... he put me at ease... he was already a man!
He met the rest of my crazy clan over the next 12 days and survived them all
He seemed, to me, like he had found some sort of missing link in his life
Like some puzzle piece had been put right
He vowed to return permanently after graduation, and he really means it
He also vowed to have his first name legally changed to "Link" upon turning 18
A truer Zelda fan I've not met
I am still trying to get used to it, but I support it 100%
We chat at least weekly via the internet, making small talk here and there
It fills some of the void, but it's not enough.......

      And I find myself......
                                   Missing Link..............


Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

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Walkin' With My Wiener In My Hand......

(to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

See the frost, watch it glisten
Too much beer, I'm on a mission
To write my name in the snow 
With a funny yellow glow
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Got a trenchcoat that I'm wearing
So that I can do some "sharing"
Maybe my legs are too white
That gives 'em a fright
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

At the lounge we were chillin'
After time, my bladder's fillin'
I stagger left and then right
Hope I make it in time
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Feels so good to drain my lizard
From behind I hear a whisper
"I hope you'll be done soon, 
'cause you're in the ladies room!"
Walkin' with my wiener in my hand!

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

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I wish I had headlice

I wish I had headlice, so I'd get out of work for a day.
I wish I had headlice, to play hookey, I say
I wish I had headlice, I could trick-or-treat alone
I wish I had headlice, I'd get more loot per home!!
I wish I had headlice, I'd get the block to myself
I wish I had headlice, My candy, My wealth!!
I wish I had headlice, my candy stash would be SOOO BIG!!
But mostly, quite honestly, I wish I had headlice,
'Cause some jerk stole my EFFING WIG!!!!


*for the "Show me the Funny" contest!*

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

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I lost what I never had

Justification.....for the love i never the void i feel

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2009