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Maz Zie Poem
When I think of the times in therapy that I spent with Lenny, they weren't that of a therapist to a patient. They were more of daughter to father or daughter to grandfather. Like every teacher has their favorite student, he was one of my favorites of all time. This man had a sense of humor that could turn any piece of hard advice into a joke or any situation to a smile.
"Why didn't you just fix your watch instead of buying a new one? that's the problem with your generation today!" He'd say when I walked in.
"Did you call the foot doctor like I asked you to get those special made shoes so your feet don't hurt? No! you didn't listen!" He'd retort.
Some coworkers saw Lenny as short and mean tempered, but I saw his light, humorous side and pictured him more as a tough-love family member.
I noted a picture of his grandson and granddaughter sat by his bed.
One morning, I went to visit him even though he wasn't scheduled for treatment, 'he's all alone ', I thought,' 'I should probably check on him, I'll just make sure he's alright, he's probably lonely.'
As I walked by, I overheard a conversation with Lenny and his 90-something veteran, roommate, Sonny, "you know why you're here?!" he smugly explained, "your wife's pretty smart, she is smarter than me, she just just don't want to deal with you, my wife's dead. that's why I'm here." He smiled.
I kept walking, frowning on the inside and out, That was pretty mean, if it was or wasn't true.
A Frail old man in the 80s, with large rimmed glasses, a pronounced Jewish nose and a few wisps of gray hair, he was then the highlight of stressful days & a dear friend of mine. I loved to walk into his room and rescue him from the dullness that had become his life after a long stint of failing health & trips to the hospital. Perhaps, sometimes he too, rescued me.
One morning, I approached the nurses station of unit three in my building to get him, only to hear that Lenny had gone to the hospital after falling out of bed over the weekend. They told me he was far too weak to make the trip back.
My heart broke and I walked on down the hallway, fighting the tears.
"What's wrong??" A coworker from rehab approached me, seeing my blank expression. 'everything's wrong....' I wanted to explain, 'life's not fair.'
I knew this would happen, I knew deep down of how he was old and frail. But sometimes the sharpness of someone's mind and the truthfulness of the spirit can lie to us. Promising times to come. Goodbye my friend. It does not get easier but dulls my sadness once more to say...I was lucky to know you. Your suffering will be over soon.
Lenny died the next day.
Copyright © Ashley Gleason | Year Posted 2014
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Maz Zie Poem
The way you kiss
It makes me sad
Pure and innocent
like a relationship i've never had
You could be a liar, or playing pretend
And i know that you're poor heart is still on the mend
But you grabbed me
And desire seeped out of my old soul
I felt it was the last time we'd ever embrace
and the way you kiss
made my thoughts race
I thought of what i was missing
long before we started kissing
About what i deserved, tolerated and settled for in the past
Before, i was so young
and just wanted
A fleeting feeling to last
The way you kiss
it boggles my mind
the backstabbers and snakes
i leave them behind
I cant be cocky, i cant brag or boast
Because i cant find the words to whisper in your ear
i cant touch you, or play coy games when you're near
A great transformation, A journey of some kind
Or perhaps its all a dream in my mind.
Copyright © Ashley Gleason | Year Posted 2013
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Maz Zie Poem
In my old room
Brings back thoughts of you
And the sweet, pure Love we once knew
Before the world disappointed & rejected
Thoughts of fairy tales, Princes
And starting anew
In my old room
But in a much different place
Thinking seriously of babies
And time and space
Now, I'm glad I waited to get married
Because you're gone & buried
And I know I'm almost ready
For a man that's an adult
& Wants a family
I'm so Sorry
You're gone and it didn't work out
But I thank you for all the Time
& blessings I couldn't have done without
Love you but I've fallen again
With an angel that's here on Earth
Another wonderful Man
Copyright © Ashley Gleason | Year Posted 2014
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Maz Zie Poem
Mary, an End stage cancer patient,entered the facility able to walk and
stand, but the cancer had spread and the 53-year-old woman began to
decline rapidly.
A few weeks later ,she couldn't move,stand, eat ,breathe, or speak.
She now had a dinner-plate sized wound on her bottom that caused
her constant pain.
I saw this sweet lady, who was once plump and always smiling, waste
into an emaciated and bed-ridden prisoner.
For days i stood outside her room before entering for our 30 minute
session, listening to the Doctor tell her friend and family "the labs are
improving." I wondered how that could be, and recommended Hospice
to my supervisor.
I decided to spend our last sessions as therapeutically as possible. On
this particular day i found that Her roommate, a former patient, a
victim of a car accident, left behind a beautiful message....
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As i stepped into Mary's room
the smell was that of Someone who had passed away already
I looked into the reflection of the mirror
Opposite her bed first,
Preparing myself to look upon her
The air was silent, "Mary?"
I called, no answer.
MY sessions consisted of checking her vital signs, the patient's
breathing was labored despite the supplement of 3 liters of oxygen
and her resting heart rate was 115. it was comparable to someone
who had just worked out...
Just to survive
I knew she woudln't tolerate much and spent our last session speaking
to her about her closest friend, checking her vitals, and reading
inspiratioal quotes from the internet that i had picked out for her.
Our next session would prove to be very productive:
As i walked in i saw a note from her Roommate, Marta, who had gone
home, on the table.
I wondered if anyone had bothered to read it. and a nagging voice
said, "She would want you to read it."
MY throat went dry, and i struggled to read to her:
"When i first met you, I saw you had so many wonderful friends.
Then I realized, it was you. People just gravitate to you. you have
spread joy throughout you life. I am sorry you suffer so. Please dont
keep God Waiting, you should meet him soon."
Love, Martha.
I wiped tears away, and realized that I had become what I wanted to.
Not only did I help and heal others, but I gave others permission to let
go if the future was leading to pain with no recovery.
Mary died that night.
Copyright © Ashley Gleason | Year Posted 2014
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Maz Zie Poem
An Unlikely pair
We're in the same place
You're lonely, I'm unhappy
But Never face to face
We revert back to childhood
In a silly, fancy world
Of creatures and goblins
Healers and Knighthood
For a moment we are carefree
and filled with excited reactions
Me, for a chance to help
You, for a strange attraction
We laugh and meet new friends
If you die, I cast spells of resurrection
Even blindness, for us
Is not a permanent affliction
Now it's time to say Goodbye
As the fun has ended
It's time to give it a try
It's time for Real Life
Copyright © Ashley Gleason | Year Posted 2014
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Maz Zie Poem
Healthcare
It's where I've belonged for my
career
Although, some days, I want to
give in and wonder,
What passion brought me
here?
A nurse comments, under her
breath,
"What a Thankless job..."
I can't help but disagree and
in, thinking, I stop
Then I find a patient's
shoelaces
Tied, like a gift, inside my
pocket
Little things & 'Thank you'
notes
Will always keep me walking
The lady who checked, 'one
last time',
On your Grandpa or Aunt Molly
Even though I am sometimes
surrounded by disease & death
Some were born to aid others
And will continue to help
Until our last living breath
Copyright © Ashley Gleason | Year Posted 2014
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Maz Zie Poem
Sometimes I wonder
What our Love truly is
At times you're my best friend
Others, I want to move away
You remind me of my Father
So critical & self righteous
I miss the times,
Sitting in a room,
complaining to an eager soul,
talking without Judgement
Realizing in that moment
We were One in the same
Even though we had different plans
And He ended up sleeping below
The beautiful stone
Copyright © Ashley Gleason | Year Posted 2015
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Maz Zie Poem
I know now, what it's like
To feel deep Love and deep Sorrow.
To know that, some things will remain Forever unsaid.
Perfect memories, Only in your mind
Shared with One that is no longer on this Earth.
The long walk, like a flash-bulb image in my mind,
To a wooden bed with a ghastly occupant.
My hands shook as I placed a gift on your chest.
I felt there was nothing more could give you,
You took so much, already.
Goodbye.
Copyright © Ashley Gleason | Year Posted 2014
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Maz Zie Poem
Three years gone, three years past
I've come to accept
some things will never last
like the way you once looked at me from across the room
the way Young Love blossomed & bloomed
The way you held me, every night
you're large arms around me,
so I'd sleep tight
One day you didn't look at me
quite the same
I knew Our Love had aged
and soon you drove me away
I used to be sad
that you had passed
Now I think back, happily,
to the times that we had
I know deep down
that you chose me
and you, to me, a Prince
for the time being
It's something my heart
will keep forever
Although, now,
it's just a moment in time
When we were together
Copyright © Ashley Gleason | Year Posted 2014
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Maz Zie Poem
I tried not to look up
As i walked into the room
I kept my excitement under wraps
That finds me when i see you
Do you feel the same
Or is it my fickle flirtation
That's to blame
Once again I feel i found
A kindred spirit
Although i'll never bring myself
To say it
When i drove past the nursing home this morning
i saw your car
parked in the morning air
it gave me a fleeting happiness
To know what you were there
I guess im fine
with thing just as they are
Curiosity killed the cat
I tell myself
So it wont go any farther
Copyright © Ashley Gleason | Year Posted 2013
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