Short Bumper Poems

Bumper Jumper Humper Dumper...

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apples swing from trees
girl's legs dangle from bright skirts
human bumper crop

Brian Johnston
May 23, 2016...

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When an SUV crosses my path,
My brain quickly does the math.
I move over fast
And let it get past,
So it's rear bumper faces my wrath!...

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Bumper rusted with dents
Alley in the rear dark and tense
Coming around a behind the fence
Knife’s with gilded hilt shows finger prints...

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a broken window 
twenty-two thrown out tires 
no dumping signs now 

it is a challenge 
next day silver car bumper 
country road saddened...

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when the bell ring
they sing
ball drop the hop
the music play
the jump until next day
they hump and become 
hip bumper
tho ho boy
NEW YEAR JOY JUMPER...

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Clever lever on robotic wheel
Tasted grease and oil, a big time meal
Sculpted a Chevy’s bumper, a shiny deal.
Ford and Chrysler helped him glue his seal....

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A great bumper sticker I viewed
“Am I driving too close in front of you?”
Sorry my cranium 
Must be Canadian
Our reputation is, we are NEVER rude ...

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All the old woman does is nag, nag, nag.
How do I get rid of the old windbag?
There is a bumper crop
when she goes nonstop.
For peace and quiet, is there a price tag?...

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“Honk and drive if you love sweet Jesus”
“Text and drive to meet Jesus in pieces”
You are duly warned
Did you hear that horn
Pay attention or your chance increases...

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There was a bright preacher named Justus
His bumper said "Honk if you love Jesus"
If you wish to quickly meet Him
Continue with your driving while texting -
A lesson for some Memorial Service...

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The female voice without seeing the creature
Is really appealing, like a goddess with sweet features
But we're sometimes surprised
Turns out she's crossed eyes
With a lump on her bumper or a tot on her teeter...

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The female voice without seeing the creature
Is really appealing, like a goddess with sweet features
But we're sometimes surprised
She ends up with crossed eyes
And a lump on her bumper or a tot on her teeter...

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scarlet strawberries
ripe and ready for picking ...
a taste of summer

I picked my first 4 strawberries today, the raspberries and blueberries are ripening too ... it is going to be a bumper crop this year!

6/13/18...

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Politics season
Sans rhyme and reason
Never-ending blitz
Constant News Network
Won’t give it a rest

Traffic today
Bumper stickers’
Noted absence
Relief, not grief

Excitement 
Is absent
Root against

Trump chump
Hill pill

Lose.

3/22/16...

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Thumper, thumper
Everything you think 
can be read on a bumper
Judge not, 
as you are bidden
Grudge YES, 
inside you will be hidden.
Beliefs of mankind
are not for you to tend
Keep your false ideals inside
Bury your head 
in the sands of pretend.

A. Green...

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Billboards and bumper stickers
as we drive down the highway
little pieces of culture
drifting all along the way;
colors, messages, pictures
so many things we see
so few that we remember
billboards and bumper stickers
covered frequently
with new messages to be discovered...

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CHOKE POINT

Our roads are at choke point 
as traffic descends into gridlock chaos. 
Cars, lorries, buses and vans 
all bumper to bumper in a traffic 
jam ten miles long. This is a vision 
of the technological world 
in which we live where both man 
and machine grind to a halt....

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Remember collecting bugs in jars
    I've seen kids do that up on Mars

  And how 'bout rubber-buggy-bumper-cars
    Dja know they've got 'em on Jupitar

  Gazing at the myriad stars
    Time to present my space memoirs
 
  Join me for cuisine bizarre
     at next light-year's Tele-Seminar...

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Said a cocky old gentleman from Kent
Whose mind was like irreparably bent
“I’m in tolerable shape
But I look like an old ape,
My bumper is shriveled, my fender bent." 

FIRST PLACE WINNER
Written May 29, 2022
10/10/7/7/10 (HMS)
Submitted to "A Funny Limerick" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin...

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Write. Right then. Not left right left. But oh right! 

There is writing.

Phone needs cleaning
Electrical madness meanwhile. 

Access limited.

Therefore a bumper pack arrives Friday from scrawled mess that will occur over next day.

Hope you are all having fun.
Said me and the rabbit with his creamy iced bun.

No ho no ha

Z...

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My pumpkins have gone mad
I'm completely inundated
My desire for pumpkin dishes
Will be well and truly sated

They've taken over the garden 
And taken over the lawn 
I can't find the compost bin 
Or where I planted corn 

Nestled 'mongst the vines 
A bumper crop is on the way 
I better find my soup pot 
And get ready for the fray!...

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Where do you go
In the bumper starlight splashed
Pressed upon time with parking fines

What do you see
On your endless concrete journey
Carving out carcass of shopping spree

What happens now
When the gas lines drought
And distance becomes an issue

Will you charge off by feet
Will you occupy the space you screech
What happens when the road is cut?...

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Five PM - A Jungle


Tires screeching,
Fan belts squealing,
Bumper to bumper,
Crawling like snails,
Horns blaring,
Engines raring,
Poison spewing,
Tempers flaring,
People Swearing,
Sweat dripping,
Predators on the loose,
Darting in and out,
Running traffic lights,
Scurrying here and there,
Police in hibernation,
Five PM - It's a Jungle!...

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In past summers it was rare to
see these wild vines heavy with fruit.

This year there’s a bumper crop
of clusters reaching to tree top.

The grapes have yet to ripen blue
before the foxy taste comes through.

As with the lives of certain men
age and disease bring an end,

they pay no heed if they live or die
if only to ripen the art they live by....

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