Humorous Rude Poems

He lived in a small village
Dick Longly was his name
He was known for miles around
An extra long willy his claim to fame

The men folk thought...

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He was a happy boy enjoying life
With only one small woe
He had a teeny weeny willy
He just wished and wished it would grow

Like many little...

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A surgeon dreams of slicing livers.
A dentist dreams of teeth and gums.
Proctologists envision fingers
and thumbs....

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Lewd Louie came from Windy City
he went straight for the nitty gritty
	got fresh with Margo
	who told her man Beau
who kicked his a** with rhythmicity...

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They chatted for so long
The day was here to meet
She was so excited
Feeling her hearts every beat

He was Scottish and oh so lovely
She thought he...

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Please say thank you~don't be rude
Ever sit and watch people feud
Over the hills and valleys to
People say crazy things that make me come unglued
Laughing until...

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There once lived a plain, stout gal named Val
     She was smittened by a guy called Al
    ...

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As I go through the store shopping,                                    you...

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Here comes Santa Claus – BAWDY LIMERICK WARNING

Poor Santa Claus comes once a year
Each Christmas night hear his wife cheer
She won’t lie on her back...

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The closet is my refuge
a place where I escape
from all of life's intrusions
to give my thoughts some shape.

To do what I came in for
it's needful...

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I often wonder,                      ...

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Truth what is it
 Running off your lips of wit
 Using words you just knit
 That really was the pit
 Hurts so I will split

...

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My hands are tied so I write with my mouth, 
if my mouth was gagged I'd have to go south, 
and I expect that would...

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Since I can't say the words that I want to use
We r going to have a little fun and light the fuse
I don't give 2...

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There was an old stripper called Jacky,
who's act was deemed rather tacky.
But she got her comeuppance 
when, out of her tuppence,
fell six pipes, fifty fags...

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