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Mental Rumination

**Mental Rumination**
Every single day brings with it a new and unfamiliar word, each one carrying its own distinct meaning that often resonates with the shifts in my life. Retirement, for instance, has proven to be a profound transformation, especially during this initial year. I had envisioned a seamless transition, convinced that I had everything perfectly mapped out. However, as the days progress, I catch myself grappling with self-doubt, second-guessing nearly every decision I make, particularly those concerning my health and overall mindset.

It seems like a soundtrack of sorts plays in my mind—a loop of Bruno Mars’ “The Lazy Song.” The lyrics echo my innermost desires: a yearning to do absolutely nothing and simply enjoy the leisure for which I had longed. Reflecting on my aspirations for retirement, I realize that this very notion of relaxation was all I had ever dreamed about.
 So, it perplexes me that a motivational speaker, someone who is supposed to uplift and inspire, is instead filling me with guilt for not maximizing every moment of this so-called freedom. Why am I feeling this way when I thought this phase of my life would be a time of unbridled joy and fulfillment?
I've recently become aware that I've gained some extra weight, and it's not contributing positively to my overall well-being.
 It's interesting how these YouTube Nigerian movies have such a strong allure for me; they hit my taste buds like an addictive substance.
 Although many of their movies are poorly directed and lack the technical finesse one might expect from a polished production, I find myself drawn to their charm and vibrant storytelling. 
There is something uniquely entertaining about the way they portray life, and I cannot help but get lost in the attention-grabbing plots and often over-the-top drama.
 It's a guilty pleasure that I know I need to manage better,
Mental rumination is a genuine experience that many of us face as human beings. It is essential to acknowledge it, as it impacts our thoughts and overall well-being.
While  it seems like I am grounded on my couch, and doing absolutely nothing 
I cannot be happier doing that.
But as the saying goes, I will take one day at a time. “Lord Jesus

 

Copyright © Annie Lander

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