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That's What They Say
They say...
Still waters run deep...
Then why are there so many shallow people?
When it rains it pours...
Usually the day after I wash my truck.
Walk softly and carry a big stick...
Or walk hard and carry a small pistol.
You play the cards you're dealt...
And there's a lot of dirty dealers in the game.
A stitch in time saves nine...
That doesn't apply in a nudist camp.
A penny saved is a penny earned...
Then why is it so hard to save a buck?
You'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar...
Unless you're an outfielder on a baseball team.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush...
Not if you get bushwhacked.
Don't count your chickens before they're hatched...
And definitely don't eat your chicken before it's cooked.
Early to bed and early to rise makes you healthy, wealthy, and wise...
I worked the night shift, so I'm none of the above.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it...
I'm broke, I wish I knew how to fix it.
You're a day late and a dollar short...
Tell me something I don't know.
Fortune favors the brave...
How about the rest of us?
One man's trash is another man's treasure...
Then there must be a lot more millionaires than I thought.
Don't judge a book by it's cover...
And don't throw a book cover at the Judge.
Where there's a will, there's a way...
Unless you got cut out of the will.
The early bird catches the worm...
And the late worm avoids the bird.
Hurry up, we're burning daylight...
That's okay, I prefer nights.
A watched pot never boils...
Sure it does! Just turn on the stove and wait.
Too many cooks spoil the gravy...
But too much gravy spoils the hips.
Don't put the cart before the horse...
Or you'll end up looking like a horses ass.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder...
But too much time together can get on your nerves.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket...
Unless you only have one basket.
A rising tide lifts all boats...
And sinks some ships.
Make hay while the sun shines...
Make love any time of the day.
A fool and his money is soon parted...
I feel that way every time I buy a lottery ticket.
What goes up, must come down...
Kind of like the stock market.
Don't take any wooden nickels...
But take every red cent you can lay your hands on.
Birds of a feather flock together...
Birds without feathers fall to the ground.
Never look a gift horse in the mouth...
You could lose an eye that way.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones...
But the people who do, can afford to replace them.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away...
So does no insurance.
Home is where the heart is...
I keep mine tucked in my chest.
You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs...
And you can't be an enforcer for the mob without breaking a few legs.
This isn't my first rodeo...
But it might be my last ride.
There's no use crying over spilt milk...
Just spilt oil.
It doesn't cut the mustard...
But a chainsaw will, every time.
You're barking up the wrong tree...
Then how about pointing out the right one buddy?
Strike when the iron is hot...
Or when they try to take your Union benefits.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink...
You can lead a fool to school, but you can't make 'em think.
Don't buy a pig in a poke...
Never poke a pig with a stick. You'll be sorry!
There's more than one way to skin a cat...
And cook them too.
Every dog has his day...
This dog is still waiting for his.
Copyright ©
Randy Freie
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