I have babysat a roomful of six year olds,
my heart beating louder than a pack of screaming hyenas.
I walked out with them quiet and safe in their parents arms.
I improvised a speech to an audience of millionaire entrepreneurs
that ended in a standing 'O'.
Often I danced with titanic sharks,
and even French Kissed Killer Whales.
I have slept deep in the grip of ink black jungles
on mid summer nights, no dream.
Once I hung on with two broken arms
five hundred feet above my demise, without a whimper.
I skated through fields of dead bodies
in not just one but two very nasty wars.
Played tag with the devil and in the end hung
his left horn above my fireplace,
yeah my fireplace I owed him that.
I swam naked on the crest of a waterfall
from the top of its peak to the concrete sheet at its bottom.
Many times, I have partied with death,
her bones drenched in the fluids of our perverse acts,
but not once did she leave the party with me on her arm.
p p p please,
make me talk to my EX-WIFE again!