Brain Battle

Written by: Bern Paul

My eyes flutter to open in the early morning light, 
My mind in a haze, thoughts invade, self recriminations pervade,
Question my self worth, as a tear falls mind is talking voices whisper in my brain, 
my feelings well up as a storm broods 
Lying here stark and cold 

Questioning my values and worth,
oh god it hurts, can one go on?
Could I even jump?
As of now, my thoughts at the edge;
no one knows or can help,
The battle invades; 
Close my eyes not daring to move,
stuck in some lethargic mood
Voices call memories of the past flooding past the storm now with its fury of words pound, feeling my silent screams 

What do these words mean, or is it some dastardly plot the mind picks up, lying here stark and cold my minds eye tells the story, but deep with in the counter cry, 
Look, look, we fight back it's just words to throw you off 

Let’s challenge the words within, 
I am worthwhile 
See my life the spiral we can stop, 
take the tablet correct my Imbalance
Open your eyes, push your mind,
my words of worth now defend to and from attacking

Those battle hardened thoughts, 
the chink it's found words of wellness spring forth , 
What’s the point, what's the point the harsh words call back, and you on the backfoot 
Look for courage to defend 

Then standing by your bed of fear,
two timid voices cry with joy,  
Mummy mummy look, here is breakfast in bed,
and now you know the battle has turned as the sweet faces of your children glow, and you can see yourself a woman of worth, 
loved beyond compare; 
How dare those thoughts invade 

We love you mum, come on I will butter your toast and read you a story 
Now your face with its magic smile, 
you ready to face another day, 
Come on mum, a cuddle, 
Look mum crumbs Dad will be mad xxxxx

Now ain't that just grand, 
Two little kids will help you stand; 
worth while loved husband at your side, 
the voice can never win, you have love on your side , 
Just find the bridge as you have the way, 
Love will get you to the other side