I Cant Hold Back The Tears

Written by: Christine Phillips

My heart is bleeding and my spirit is burning
Day light breaks and births another day
And I kneel down, and pray for you to come my way 
 I could not hold back the tears 
When I turn around and you weren’t there
I could not hold back the tears
When I saw you climbing up the stairs
I have waited so long for you to get a breakthrough 
And my dream has finally come true
I could see you waving to the gigantic crowd
And the entire world was saluting you
You have made it through the ups and down
And everyone is celebrating all over the town
I have traveled all this way to see you
But I couldn’t be with you,
 The secret service was all around you
I could not hold back the tears
When I see all the pain you had to bear
I could sense your presence in the room
But when I reached out to you 
I could not touch you
Your perfume spread its fragrance everywhere
Melting hearts far and near, 
Your strength and courage has removed my anguish 
And filled my space with a precious gift
I am happy for you but I still want to see you
A few moments of fantasy has caused so much agony,
Can’t you hear me crying inside you?
I have this unsettled feeling that is eating me up
It has nothing to do with what is going on inside me
It’s just that I want to hear directly from you
I am tired or reading signs and symbol
I know that they are accurate but they often make me fret
Every time when I have to move to a new place
it is  difficult for me to choose  and I feel nervous 
It is that part of me that is buried deep down inside
It is that part of me that wants to go all the way
and conquer the world in a different way
Not with guns and bullets but with love and a special gift
Marco polo and Christopher Columbus
explored the world in their time
To gather the evidence with much intelligence 
They were rewarded for their valor and bravery
And it made them feel very happy.
I seek no such acclamation; 
I just want your adoration, and true admiration 
I have so much to share but sometimes I feel that you don’t care
Not one phone call, email, or message to indicated that you are there, sometimes I just can’t figure you out 
And I have to wonder what you are about
Sometimes my heart is over anxious and I want to shout
I am used to this life and I am not lonely
I am just longing to be by your side
I want to get a direct word from you to help me to go through 
I do not often reveal the side of me that makes me happy
Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry when I am happy
But the distance between us pose a big challenge for me
From sunrise to sun set my I can feel you moving inside me
And that heat won’t leave me; summer is all over my body
When I gazed at your smiling eyes and I often hear your soul cry
And I can still see the childhood innocence in your beautiful face
And the vision that we used to share, we can now embrace
I just want to sit at the table with you and kiss you
I can’t hold back the tears.