Football Manager

Written by: Nick Trim

I could build a football team for the future,
I've played Football Manager on my computer,
I've built teams that are simply spectacular,
with lots of silverware I've managed to capture.

I started off as manager of Bath City,
and Bath City played with a pity!
but a pit was around them so I chose to believe,
and that pity team did win that pit league.

I then took Barnet from non-league to the championship,
I won leagues, cups and awards on that 10 year trip,
bottom of the Conference when I took the healm of that ship,
but then I quit Barnet because Barnet lack grip.

I went to Ashton Gate because Lampard had just quit,
they were in League One and at the bottom of it,
the same league that I had just won when I was with Barnet,
who had unveiled a statute of me a week before I quit.

I couldn't sign players because of a transfer embargo,
which annoyed me because they were garbage you know,
was told 10 points from 5 games or you have to go,
won 4 drew 1 and from the relegation zone we rose.

The following season got promotion against the odds,
this really did prove that I was one of the Gods!
Won League 1 manager award for the 2nd time in 3 seasons,
but then it all went wrong for the following reasons,

it was my laptop, it could no longer be used,
I'd bought the wrong lead and the flippin' thing fused!