Funny Out Of Gas Poems

Silent but Deadly (Written 2014)

In the heart of the nursing home where old folks stay,
Lived Erasmus, a man twinkling in twilight's array.
With a glimmer that...

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A gassy stomach isn't funny
If you fart it comes out runny
Your pants are  full of liquid gas
That wouldn't stay in your a--...

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I once had a dog named Carter
Who was a hell of a farter
I stuck a plug up his butt
To stop the farting mutt
But Carter just...

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"Fart Proudly!" Benjamin Franklin Once Wrote
A troublesome guest is best not to tote
For happy intestines
It was Ben's suggestion
A good fart is worthy of a good...

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Beans can be transformed into a gas substance without a shape
Nothing like a solid or liquid it just poofs into the atmosphere
Some poisonous more is...

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Honey
Bunny
Sunny
Funny

Honey Bunny infant  coos gently,
Then sunny eyes roll— hiccups funny.


Your Turn For A Tyburn Contest, Charles Messina
13 August 2019...

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Have You Got Gas?
By: Tom Wright
8/1/2006

I power your mowers and propel your cars
One of many derivatives from a barrel of oil,
Pushing three stage rockets past...

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Jan caught a jet plane to New York
Where bacon does not come from pork
To end her trip
Jan let one rip
The Captain delivered a stork

Jan's flight...

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Ow! gas station sushi.
 I want my gas station sushi.
 I don't care about the cramps & the whooshi.
 Just give me my gas station...

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Do slugs - I ever wonder suffer from gas
 
After having a session within the cabbage patch

But just in case one blows and ends up...

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Laughing hard can cause involuntary bursts of gas...toot!



---------------10.11.2016
Funny One Liner: Silent One Contest...

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A build up bubble,
Created in the lower half,
Began to expand in the stomache,
Stretching out the pants,

When beginning to release,
Squeezing the butt cheeks together,
Sliding out slowly,
Feeling...

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Twinkle twinkle big star,
Who let out a big fart,
The air is polluted,
I can't breath,

Give me a gas mask,
Or next time just leave,
Wear tight clothing,
And don't...

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Lumpy Rumpy, now a high school lad,
I'm afraid is still acting very bad,
In his school laboratory he did amass,
Some stinking, self-made, rotten egg gas.

He corked...

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today I am all gas
no words come out
if I do a hand stand 
perhaps
a passing poem 
will pass
my pass...

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