Science Humor Poems

I buy my shoes by the foot,
Tend my front lawn by the yard,
Groom the dog by the furlong,
That’s why metrics are so hard....

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It's been a long time since the cicadas rumbled.
History books say 'twas eighteen hundred and three
When war struck the trees where bees sometimes bumbled.

The seventeen...

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Johnny Cash gives it away for free,
John K says he would like to be Prez.
Richard Nixon will run against him,
so the republican party says.

Lamar Cox...

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We answer big questions one by one
As scientific progress marches on.
When we find an answer, we’re not done.
Up spring two new questions to dwell upon!

Math...

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I warn all my friends and relations,
"Withdraw and spend all of your cash."
According to my calculations,
The sun and moon are going to crash....

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Classes started up again today. Soon, we’ll be gloriously stressed, and clocked-up on whatever. Our hearts will swell to the pre-med symphony - a frantic...

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Dear Salacious Crumb, where did you go?  
I saw what Luke did to the sail barge,
as Leia jumped off I witnessed the blow;

Echoes of...

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I find myself in full fantasy mode lately. I have a BF (who I saw a couple of weeks ago) and I’m not interrogating my...

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...or What's science got to do with it?

Galileo looked through a lens one day
And, boy, was he astounded.
The Earth wasn't flat as he'd been told,
It...

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I don’t have a basement
there’s no hills here to run to
no caves for miles around

haven’t stockpiled tins of beans
or tomatoes
or peach slices

panic buying hasn’t been...

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Tuesday lasses
we all have classes
get up and go
there’s no time to waste
join the flow
there’s no reason to wait
everyone’s hustling
coffee guzzling
bus shuttling
paper shuffling
syllabus assessing
apple-watch checking
there’s a...

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Dear Fate,

I hate you. 
I detest you. 
I despise you.
I loathe you in ridicule. 
I reject you outright.
You are no good Fate. I am sure...

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When it comes to rules of etiquette
be warned: Flackmoth’s easily upset.
Most rules are arbitrary, he insists,
promoted by the bored and idle rich
who see themselves as...

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I do not know the different forms of poetry
To be honest I have no desire to ascertain
So many forms and so complicated
To much confusion for...

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If you ask our NewsMax, America One fueled, republican congressmen
who won the last presidential election - they’ll pretend that they don’t know.
But hey, these are...

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