Humorous Crush Poems

I was only seventeen standing outside of the library,                ...

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It was the kind of day you step in front of traffic, then dare fate to fold you up in newspaper headlines.  

Oh dreams...

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I try to walk very gently through a field filled with wildflowers
Not crushing them under my feet takes a short walk many hours
On hot days...

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An alien travelled from Venus
And said there should be peace between us
My wife in her thong
Said he’s got a big dong
And then she said o...

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I’m dreadfully angry with Martin
He posted footage of me fartin’
'twas a terrible shock
It’s all over Tik Tok
Guess Martin and I will be partin’

01/29/22...

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You are something special, too,
     standing in the Ferris wheel queue
          please...

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When I let one loose in the elevator,
the handsome man next to me smiled.
For the universe is my witness,
with all the embarassment I swear I...

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for her my heart beats no more ~ but for her friend i’d thumb out an encore 


Bite Size Poem no.5 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Line...

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Huge life like mockup 
rigged up to bark
dare buzzfeed outsize monstrosity
diet coke, McDonald's and meatloaf
pet banality, execrable, and misogynistic words
greets visitors at formerly named
Mosquito State...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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I wonder if she thinks of me
Does she see my body in her mind
Like I see hers wrapped around me
Does she taste me on her...

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I feel your coolness next to my fingers.

Your roundness excites my thirst buds.

Oh my you need to be crushed.

Your sweetness will exude your love.

You were...

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She called me fart head
She really hates the poets
She's never really meant much
But fey; to her to know it

All wise within her own shell
How could...

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I saw her walking out the door,
Eyes met as we took the lift,
Hands touched, when we hit the bar,
I asked her out, that was her...

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His name was Bobby.
Angelic eyes; light blue.
Nothing like anyone I had ever seen 
Blonde hair
Odd for a boy I thought
Giggled better than me

I was completely...

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