Humorous Clothes Poems

Once we were a matching pair, some days we’d get downbeat
as we both couldn't abide the stench of sweaty cheesy feet!

Our male owner would pop...

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How do I know,                                         ...

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"All a man really wants, is a girl who looks good in a bikini."
- Jack Freestone

More skin makes my heart pound,    ...

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Away at a strip club
No clothes are on me
I misread the club rules
Now I feel silly

I’d removed my jacket
White shirt and black pants
Then off came...

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Away to La Senza
No amour for Fred
Must spice up his love life
In their king size bed

A baby doll nightie
Fred balks at the cost
But wants to...

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I’m lunching with my bestie Mylie
She’s upset and no longer smiley
I ask her what’s wrong
She said in my thong
My bottom is no match for Kylie!

I...

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My favorite orange top with the raised flowers in white
Made me prance into church, feeling beautiful and right
I sashayed down the aisle, feeling all that...

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Living in a house very old,  
it was always drafty and cold.  
Metal stairs to the basement lead,  
from an old pirate's...

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I stand here beneath a beautiful fig tree,                 ...

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I have to rant, I dread this time
                 ...

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I got dressed in a rush - I didn’t take care 
I’d forgotten to put on any underwear!

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I got dressed in a rush - I didn’t take care
I’d forgotten to put on any underwear
My skirt blew up in a blast of warm...

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My auntie wears 'Bridget Jones' knickers
But last week at tea at the vicars
She’d purloined MY lace thong
It was morally wrong
T’was the cause of very loud...

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KEEPING ABREAST OF THE SITUATION


A lady's out doing her shopping
She's braless, both boobies are flopping
V necked dress, not the best
Cos out popped her right breast
The...

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Never look back and be eaten up with guilt
Try to correct what you did in the future
I remember the first time I showed up in...

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