Funny Chef Poems

My women's a rump-roast
Potatoes her thighs
Ripe reddened carrots
for thinly sliced eyes

Onions for folly
that lobes ring on high
Radishes hatched up
for lovers to eye

Thin flowing gravy
for sexual...

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The pastry chef made some cuisine
Then he had to use the latrine
He played in his pants
He wanted a chance
Then fell into the mixing machine...

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Learned to cook
From a book

One pinch here
Scant use there

Here’s the plan
Prepare pan

Coat with flour
Bake one hour

Fill halfway
Don’t delay

So how come
Looks like gum

Hard as grout 
Must...

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The pastry chef
Bakes cakes and breads
Took a nap, burnt them



8/29/19
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. ©2019...

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/center>The pastry chef alas a prime and proper cooks in an steel oven 
Bakes cakes buttery biscuits pizzas and all types of breads
Took a nap,...

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he goes to kitchen
with knife in hand ready to do the job
hungry mouths waiting

“do not cut me
use be as I am”, says onions
he  gets...

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I love my own chili,
I know it sounds silly,
heat in pot
nice and hot
it is truly a dilly.

I love my own meatloaf.
I throw on a sugar...

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A chef fried sausages so well
The aroma confused him
So he sat on his bed
And made decision;

“I will push these sausages
one in my nose”
the other in...

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The angry learner chef
A discerning  chap
Leers at how he's going to cook 
That special meal he likes 
In which pot shall he make his...

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Though I ain't a cordon bleu chef as the title might imply,
I can still whip up gourmet fare in the blink of an eye!
And to...

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The special today,
is Tom's Stew,
more than enough,
for all of you.
Homemade bread,
with garlic, and chives,
real butter without calories,
dripping from the sides.
Strawberry Shortcake,
heaping with cream,
fresh from scratch,
right...

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