Humorous Bio Poems

When the biological clock goes tick tick tick~ she’ll pick her a catch by age thirty-six—I Am Anaya

Spouse

A husband she searches
all through the land in...

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FICTIONAL BIO:

The missus asked me
(hitherto known as her bozo)
just mere moments ago
to craft humorous poem to glow
nsync with the shiny nose of Rudolph
keeping syncopated metrical...

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Mu uncle Franklin
was a pro wrestler.
He lit up a room
like Nikola Tesla.

My aunt Judy
was a cake maker.
Her cakes were tall
like an LA Laker.

My brother Steve
played...

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Loss of faith

It was Christmas Eve 1947 
A knock on the door, I stopped breathing
Santa entered with a bag
slung across massive shoulders
I saw it was,...

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Mirella et Lino Saputa
Saputa Lino et Mirella
say ye oh songtress
sing till the swallows
hear
sing ye oh Mi Lady
sing until the the oceans
stand still
oh yet the night
might...

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I was a Holistic Therapist
with oils and creams galore.
most clients were lovely
but some you had to ignore.
One came asking for 'extras'
which i answered with a...

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Independent,                        ...

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Humus me? My vegetated chokes ingest!
(jokes all in jest)

Hard to believe, I orange in a lee
started life as barely visible speck!

Just in the course of...

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Conceived In Sin - 
Cincinnati, Ohio
(most Up To Date Virgin)

Any attempt for fecund woman
to successfully counteract biologic
reproductive force to whit
deserves grudging testes
meant to garner at...

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Countless instances submitting poems
finds me racking
quite a hefty collection of rejections,
the responses lacking
disappointing voluminous vicious
venomous vitriolic backing
quite the contrary,
the prefabricated responses

unsuccessful at hijacking
my "FAKE" toothy...

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Self Empowerment Of This Shemevdik...

January thirteenth two thousand
and nineteen will complete
mine third score orbitz round the sun,
(I can hardly believe that either)
who as a youth...

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Perhaps like a lightning
bolt of clear out of the blue
rigor mortis (tenon and
three decades hence)
two thousand fifty nine if you
count from January 13th 2019, adieu

attest...

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Abscence of sounds of your laughter
Is like the echoes of emptiness 
In the depths of this dark universal blackness  
Unbeknown to others but me, 
called...

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Mommy Tang

she so funny 
she so smart 
Mommy Tang
has the best of hearts
she wiggles and moves 
with the speed of a tiger
sometime she laughs
like love...

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lets shout it out 
lets move it to the streets 
bang that car spanked-out speakers
to the rumble of the mass beat  
 
now bass...

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