Best Sod Off Poems

Fake News

It’s not all about you

Because I can see, hear and preach it too

I can fake it just as well

To tell the stories others tell

Lies...

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I'm doing a little highland dancing 
and I've gone commando under my kilt
I lay down my claymore
Then dance around the hilt .
but I slipped and...

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MY ENCOUNTER WITH AN ANT.....

I am a real little old lady,
I walked along a street so shady,
Had an encounter with a tiny ant,
To him I...

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True love.

An elderly Scotsman is dying. 
He is lying in his bed. 
When he thinks he smells home baking, 
or is it in his head?...

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Asset rich and cash poor
Farming’s now a constant war
Stupid rules; I’ve had enough
It’s getting hard and bloody rough.
More rules and forms come everyday
A thousand bastards...

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In the words of the great Bard, "Alas".
But enough of Shakespeare my friends.
For it has come to pass
That half a century and yet five more
Years...

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Blah
Blah
Blah

I’m sorry, what did you say?

Blah di Blah
Blah di Blah
Blah di Blah

Whatever

Blah di Blah di Blah
Blah di Blah di Blah
Blah di Blah di Blah

This is...

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If I was ever to be blessed 
With the gift of an only child
And I was given the option 
To choose the sex also too
I...

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A One Eyed Golpher In A Cactus Patch

He travels beneath the sod off the spiral scene
 Feeling a bit frantic from the chase he gasps...

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