Best Ants In His Pants Poems | Poetry

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The Best Ants In His Pants Poems

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Fire Monkey

Listen to poem:
Cunningly swinging
On the trees of life
Playing his pranks
Winding up the wife

Enjoying every challenge
Using his brain
Owning it. Bossing it
Playing the game

He's a Chinese Monkey 
- a little bit spunky
A little bit of attitude
A little bit of grit

Dashing, darting
With daring and drive
Top of the tree
And feeling alive

Dancing with spirit
Fire and wit
Not at all annoying
- well, maybe just a bit(!)

He's a Chinese Monkey 
- can get a bit funky
A little bit of attitude
A little bit of grit

Friendly when he wants to be
He'll pat you on the back
Can get a bit competitive
Never one to slack

Ants in his pants
Fire in his belly
Gregarious.  Free.
Can give it some welly

He's a Chinese Monkey 
- Full-speed junkie
A little bit of attitude
A little bit of grit

Nimble on his feet
Able with his hands
Confident and up-beat
Always with a plan

Charming little fella
Curious too
Has the metal and the dignity
To get himself through

He's a Chinese Monkey 
- can get a bit funky
A little bit of attitude
A little bit of grit

Little bit of attitude
Little bit of grit

Little bit of attitude
Little bit of grit


Copyright © David Lindsay | Year Posted 2016


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acoustic ecology

By waters edge sat John Muir
His wish for us all, preserve what's pure
He twisted and wiggled, his butt did a dance
It occurred to him, he had ants in his pants!



12/28/14
© All Rights Reserved


Copyright © James Marshall Goff | Year Posted 2014


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The Aunt Dance

An Italian once courted my Aunt

Who was bitten by ants in his pants

     So he screamed, "Mama Mia!"

     "I got the gonorrhea!"

That's when he learned the frying pan dance!



                            Timothy I. Brumley


Copyright © Timothy Brumley | Year Posted 2010


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Hmmm

Is that writhing really a dance
Or does he have ants in his pants
You have the answer perchance
He’s taking his Can Can to France!


Copyright © Diane Locksley | Year Posted 2010


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Ranbir- Clerihew

Ranbir Raj Kapoor Can't keep them on, ants in his pants for sure he's a brilliant performer, a supernova the heartthrob is but a philandering Casanova! *Ranbir Kapoor is a popular Indian movie star. Brilliant actor belonging to the 'first family' of Indian Cinema, the Kapoors whose fourth generation now rules the current scenario of actors. He is equally famous for his brilliant acting skills and his link-ups with almost all leading ladies. Popular due to his lover boy looks, he has a massive female fan following.


Copyright © Yesha Shah | Year Posted 2012


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my little black sheep was a heap of wool

my little black sheep was a heap of wool

hes a black sheep
that what he told me as he wept 
those elephant tears
those were funny my dear
i remember that night
he wasnt alright
he spoke fast
like he was hoisting beer glasses
hes a funny drunk
a little hunk
on and on he went
vent, vent, vent
yet i always lend my ear
for a loving dear
he spoke, like he had ants in his pants
and he spoke something to do with his aunt
can you believe that?
nephew and aunt having a small spat
vent, vent, vent
on and on he went
me, i love a little black sheep
he knows how to make a girl go peep
and his wool
just makes me drool
and those cute ears and nose
just wants to make me strip off my clothes
he just had that effect on me
and my romantic spending spree
im a unlucky girl though, star not bright
i had him for one entire night
can you believe that
chewing the fat
vent, vent,vent
on and on he went
yep thats me
with mister church key
i showed him cleavage so he get the hint
unfortunately it didnt make a dent
i showed him some skirt
so he'd work up a squirt
it didnt make a dent
all he want to do was vent
now when i look back at my black sheep
i could give a flying peep 
he had his one chance 
to dance
he rather dark skies
and put wool over my eyes

connie pachecho

1/13/17












 



Copyright © connie pachecho | Year Posted 2017


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Hello Laughing Crow

Hello, it's me
I'm listening to Adele, numbing my courage to speak
Hello, it's me
I've been outside, knocking on your door since 3 with these uncomfortable boots upon my feet
Hello, can you hear me
I just want to cut you into pieces while throwing roses at your feet
Hello, open the door please
Or I will break this door down and laugh amusingly as I hear you scream
Hello, don't enrage me
Do you like the color red, if not then you're gonna need to call the painters
Or maybe just Ted, we all know he watches you sleep from the trees anyway
But hello hello hello, yellow
The color of the fluid running down his pants as I broke his leg, filled the wound with fire ants
Ha ants in his pants
Shut up Adele, this is my show now
So hello goodbye as I break the door from it's hinges
HEY MISSES, THE DOOR WAS OPEN SO I JUST LET MYSELF IN!
Cleaver in hand, I run up and down all the hallways and rooms
Flip on the lights and realize this is my own domicile
Heh guess I really am certifiable 
Said the screen badly, terribly
Stared stunned and out of breath from laughing
The daughter dressed for a party, a simple yet beautiful cat said in exclamation:
"This is what you made me stay home for
I could be owning the night
Scaring people in fright
Obeying my right to dance til the night ends
Why did you make me stay in this airspace so tight?"
And with a heartbroken look, her mother asked quietly, "dont you like spending time with me?"
Her daughter looked incredulous, like she's been punched in the stomach
Like her mother told her a blatant lie and tried to spin it as truth
The daughter in her cat-like glory hugged her mom tight
And said, "of course I do, silly mother goose
I love you more than anything, I love our quality time
Making fun of bad movies are the best moments I've had with you and I will always look to make them last
But can this wait till Christmas or Thanksgiving, allow me to be a kid and hang out with my partners in blissful crime."
And it was then, the silence from outside the house that shook the atmosphere with intrigue and dread in a single breath
"Hello, it's me
I've been to listening to Adele, numbing my courage to speak
But if you would be so kind to open up the door, I really have to pee
Jenny? Hello, can you hear me
Don't be scared, it's only me, Carrie
Please open up, I'm about to spring a leak
Jenny with her mom in tow
Brooms and bats as backup
Slowly open the door, ready to sprout a defense
And in steps a 5'2 Bunny Harley Quinn, with an ax in her back smiling singing Happy Halloween 


Copyright © Crow thepoet | Year Posted 2016


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LANCE 'N FRANCE



A wonderful fellow was Lance
Always acting with utmost vigilance
By day drove an ambulance
By night stayed home to water his plants
Never expressing much exuberance
Or given to any extravagance

Then one day by the oddest of circumstance
Lance attended a workshop on the topic of finance 
Him that is, with two dozen other participants
Who wanted to learn more about grants
The speaker was lecturing with much arrogance
And the topic seemed to lack much relevance

But there she was at the entrance
She had the loveliest stance
And her voice had the warmest resonance
For Lance it was love at first glance
Without hesitation he made his advance
He discovered her name was France 
And that they both loved to dance
Instantly they developed a steamy romance

It was only later that Lance learned by chance
All along that meeting was concocted by his two aunts
Both gifted with the power of clairvoyance
Now all are happy Lance has ants in his pants
And his nights no longer lack luster and radiance



March, 2018


Copyright © Line Gauthier | Year Posted 2018


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ANTS

                           Ants can play havoc in your bridal night
                                         Ants in his pants


Copyright © RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY | Year Posted 2018


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Lance From France

There is a guy named lance
who loved to dance
moved to America for his chance
off the molly he had ants in his pants
raves and rants
ecstasy cramps
drunken broken lamps
licking acid stamps
having sex with tramps
stuck in a trance
you see lance was from France
until he took an American stance
getting high off all types of plants
feeling like a champ
getting all amped
until one night he felt his shirt was damp
there was blood coming from his nose 
his vision started to close
trance
lance lance wake up lance
he saw a bright light and a voice that said this is your last chance
guess what happened to lance
lance that loved to dance moved his *** back to France.


Copyright © Todd Aguilar Jr. | Year Posted 2018