Limerick Marriage Poems | Limerick Poems About Marriage

These Limerick Marriage poems are examples of Limerick poems about Marriage. These are the best examples of Limerick Marriage poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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You can't have one without the other

The concept of gays in a marriage
One side loves and one will disparage
But rule supreme court
And one side must retort
Justice just had a miscarriage

Author's note:  Regardless of the outcome from the supreme court, I happen to favor gay marriage.  There really is no other conclusion since we are a land of equal rights.  We should do all we can to foster a society without discrimination.  The arguments against these rights reveal a lot about certain people of religious persuasion.  It would be comical if it were not so sad.

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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There once was a fellow named Ted Who recently in church got wed His wife was in the mood Laying there in the nude… He was texting his friends instead! He was sending text after text His new wife was feeling quite vexed 'I'm after your bone - now get off your phone .... Or I'll leave if I'm under sexed! A collaboration with Jospeh May Both Poems inspired by 'And Nothing Else Matters' By Andrea Dietrich 1st May 2016

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

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SNAIL I love my cool wheelchair to bits. But when I get married it fits to walk down the aisle, it may take a while... by then they're all snoring, the gits! *** LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE LIMERICK CONTEST sponsor: Jan Allison October 13, 2016

Copyright © Darren White | Year Posted 2016

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Pride and Arrogance's Wedding

Pride & Arrogance’s Wedding

Pride was looking for a partner to share his life.
He found Arrogance and asked her to be his wife.

 This would be the grandest affair no one could beat.
Anybody who was somebody would fill the seats.

Sarcasm would be the maid of honor Arrogance’s best friend
While Pride’s buddy Boastful would do the honors of stepping in.

Pompous, Pretentious, and Presumptuous found their places
While Vanity and Bossy were screaming in each other’s faces

Smug walked by with Snotty his wife of many years
As Arrogance’s mother Egotist tried not to shed a tear.

As Arrogance came in the room all stopped and stared
To witness true love Pride and Arrogance shared.

Pride took Arrogance by the hand to the alter
Looking stiff and stoic like the rock of Gibraltar 

The wedding was beautiful but just a little odd
But everybody knew they were like two peas in a pod

 They now live in a town called Imso Crass. 
While Arrogance works hard Pride sits on his ass. 

Arrogance, if she only knew her fate with Pride
She would have never agreed to be by his side.

But now there’s a baby whom she must take care.
Little chaos born on her birthday they now share.

Erin Soares-Anselmi

Copyright © Erin Soares-Anselmi | Year Posted 2014

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I Just Can't Win

My wife she says that at housework I suck,
she yelled "pick up a broom you idle schmuck!"
  But babe, cleanin and dustin 
  crimps my drinkin and lustin,
but she said "no dustin, no lustin!"...WTF!

               September 2014

Copyright © Keith Trestrail | Year Posted 2014

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Sweet Valentines series

My first sweetheart soul was  extremely sweet
The sweet fact, she was sweet enough to eat
   An agape valentine          (a·ga·pe [aa g? pay] 3 syllables)
   My beautiful Clementine
My fault, marriage not given time to seat!

My next sweetheart from the very first start
Almost evident that we would soon part   
   Creature from black lagoon 
   Must get rid of her soon
This sweet’s nagging, truly her state of art!

Most valentines are sweet enough to eat
Giving a marriage time enough to seat
   You wish you had of eaten
   It would save from repeat-en 
Romance is treat, alas she warms you feet!

For contest: Valentine Day Limerick
For and in honor of Francine Roberts

Copyright © john freeman | Year Posted 2011

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The vicar surveyed her wide girth Was scared that in church she’d give birth He raised his eyebrows Then rushed through their vows As he wasn’t adept at childbirth! Inspired by the poem ‘Decision Needed’ by Maurice Rigoler Jan Allison 13TH April 2016

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

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How to give a guy a premarital suitability exam

Before the "I do" she must choose
A man that does well in dance shoes
His psyche gives a clue
When employing step two
Ply him to the limit with booze

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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Prepare for the Worst

That's a week the wife has been missing For years I've so longed this hoping Prepare for the worst the Police said Panic thoughts in my head The Charity shop was not my so wishing

Copyright © James Fraser | Year Posted 2015

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A Happily Ever After Marriage

There once was a poet extraordinaire,
Who composed sweet poetry with great care. 
She wanted to find true love.
So, she prayed to God above.
He swiftly answered, “Sweetheart, you must forbear.”

Forbearance was her lonely heart’s nightmare.
She was a passionate woman with flare.
Singing in a high octave.
Counting petals of foxglove.
She drank martinis alone in her lair.

A brilliant mind with hope and a prayer,
Resting her head on a lonely armchair.
Praising spirits up above,
She heard Ron’s voice, cute white dove.
Alas, she found him…marriage…love so fair.

(Linda-Marie, I used your profile picture for inspiration for this contest entry.)

© March 31, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen

Copyright © Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen | Year Posted 2011

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Cupid's Arrow

                                     All my exes were pros of the game,
                                  Spending years at perfecting their aim.
                                          They thought it was funny
                                             To take all my money
                                  When the judges said I was to blame!

"Insanity:  doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."  - Albert Einstein

Copyright © Mark Ackerson | Year Posted 2015

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The reluctant companion

The wife plans a spree to buy all
With husband on board at the mall
But as this takes place
He just looks for a space
To sit on a bench in the hall

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2013

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my heart I gave once

once I gave my heart 
mesmerized by the start 
his eyes so sapphire blue 

I was not ready for this
my thoughts went blank 
literally speechless

had I known the tears I would be left with
I do not believe I would have let love in
this Man , he knew he captivated women 

Always me going for what I can not have 
then in return it is given , leaving me confused
the one I was seeking for sure would never commit 

Commit he did , even in front of a Rabbi 
saying only once, 1 time will I.
with all conviction I believed his lie 

I remember the Fall day he left without words spoken 
the leaves were dancing through the wind 
as if they were trying to tell me something 

the rain cried tears for me that night 
I took his sword collection down from the wall
thinking in true love I will never find again

to die a graceful poetic death with his sword
I awoke with a hangover the next day 
my heart broken  my heart ignored

Copyright © Shanity Rain | Year Posted 2013

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I'm The Best

My wife always says I’m the best
A feeling which brought me much zest
One night wild thoughts flew
In search of a clue
I wondered just who were the rest

Copyright © Martin Kloess | Year Posted 2013

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From Wedding to Marriage

The exchange of vows begins the Journey
love, patience and trust, the needed money
to make every meal
and open every seal
one where bitter leaf spices much honey

Copyright © Funom Makama | Year Posted 2016

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Honeymoon Vacation

Just a honeymoon beach vacation,
a fine nuptial love celebration;
   we arrived a night early,
   we would find hotel surely:
“No rooms” was the sad proclamation.

“An hour away you might find one.”
They were right for we only found…NONE!!
  We got off beaten path.
  too tired then to laugh,
looked for a place “mom and pop” run.

Well, it must have been close to midnight,
exhausted the lady and her knight;
  we found Motel Warwick,
  a guest house illicit,
and christened our honeymoon site.

Copyright, July 13, 2014
Faye Lanham Gibson

Copyright © Faye Gibson | Year Posted 2014

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Husbands in Heaven Whose Wives Scold Not

There once was a husband named Craig
Whose wife made a breakfast of eggs,
          He complained they were runny
          And a waste of his money
And now his tail sits between his legs.

There once was a hubby named Clyde
Who had a young girl on the side
          Wifey came from work early,
          Saw Clyde with his girlie,
Now he lives in a doghouse outside.

There once was a man named Jasper
Whose marriage was filled with laughter
          There was equal respect
           Not a trace of neglect
And they both lived happily after.

Copyright © Nicole Rodriguez | Year Posted 2014

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has three rings - Engagement rings,
Wedding rings and Sufferings;
Like a Violin lover,
after the music's over,
Ah, attached still are the strings!

"Limerick" contest by Jan Allison

Copyright © Abdul Malik | Year Posted 2015

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Enough Already

It was the sixth wedding for daughter Judy
who was quite plain and hardly a beauty.
Time came to give away the bride
whereupon her Father replied
"five times I've tried--I've done my duty."

Copyright © Paul Schneiter | Year Posted 2016

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Crumbs On The Counter

Man and wife are at opposite ends of the scale When it comes agreeing on what's important in life, we fail Obsessed with crumbs on the counter Berates him till into a battle they flounder Life's too short to worry about crumbs for peace to prevail

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2016

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Husbands in Heaven

A man stands no chance with a woman,
With red eyes she schemes in a coven,
     So scolded or not,
     If he wants a shot,
He'll be better off with a husband.

Copyright © Aron Jacob | Year Posted 2014

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Maine Through Spain

There once was a pretty girl from Maine
That her beauty spread to Spain
She didn't want to marry
Because the man's name was Larry
So the people thought her insane

NOTE: I'm having a ball finding all my old poetry. I wrote this when I was 11! So much fun reading my old things. :D

Copyright © Caleah Buil | Year Posted 2013

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Rick was an ineptly clad lad
whose wardrobe was shockingly bad.
The he got a sweetheart 
with taste like a fine art
who converted him from plain to plaid.

Copyright © Paul Schneiter | Year Posted 2016

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Friend or Foe

The man I married, so handsome and young
A drop of sweet sorbet on a parched tongue
I cooked his family traditional dessert one night
“Best I ever ate”, he said with so much delight
Words of praise, so generously he sung

His parents were to visit for lunch on Sunday
I decided to cook the same dessert that day
“Try something simpler, daughter”, his mother said
“Recipes like these, not for a girl newlywed”
Humiliated,sent kicks under the table his way.

Bigger thing is, friends, I will never know
if my eyes ever resembled that of a doe
if my skin was soft and smooth as satin
if my voice was musical like that of a robin
I wonder,did I marry a sweet friend or a foe

Written 06/15/2016

Copyright © Sara Chansarkar | Year Posted 2016

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Darn Sciatic

The wife had a problem with me, h o t m e s s to the hundredth degree, thinks she can do better, I’ll go out and let her! Not my fault I cleared the pantry! I ended up on the darn couch, pinched nerve in my back from the slouch, I need chiropractic, for my darn sciatic, then the whole next week I’m a grouch! She came in crying one evening, I thought, “YAY! Maybe she’s leaving!” but she just broke a nail, now I’m still stuck in jail, I think she was just deceiving. I wonder if we got divorced, would she even show sweet remorse? I would probably smile, maybe I should go file? “WHAT hun? Be home by nine??? Of course…” :( I think I know just what I’ll do, go in and tell her we are through! I’ll take the couch with me, it’s just so darn comfy, "yay! Then I wouldn’t have a curfew!" Just Make Me Laugh Contest Sponsor: Christine Lehman Date Written: August 27, 2016

Copyright © Laura Loo | Year Posted 2016

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There once was an angry old man,
Who thought he had the only plan.
He was smarter than most,
And of this he would boast.
He thought of himself as just grand.

The angry old man had a wife,
Whose life he oft filled with strife.
He described her as moody,
Just stupid and broody.
She told him to go get a life.

Copyright © Judy Ball | Year Posted 2016

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I married a woman named Speck
Who’s as pretty as one would expect
She's as sweet as wildflower honey 
And as lively as a bunny
She's the woman I highly respect

Copyright © Andrew Battaglino | Year Posted 2016

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Matrimony Wine

Desperate in need of a Valentine
I offered a meal some cake and wine
We were strangers
I didn't see the danger
We were drinking from the Matrimony Vine

The Matrimony Vine is not a grape, but a flowery vine with a very tart berry.

Copyright © James Andersen | Year Posted 2017

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Polly married two different men One called Bill and the other was Ben She lived in two houses With each of her spouses Polly said she would marry again! Polly has her eye set on a third - She is a polyandrous old bird She just loves having sex Her life’s rather complex Polly’s love life is rather absurd! 08-02-17

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017

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Fair Ramon

The bride complained her perfume
Had failed to seduce the groom
Because she was placid
He found himself flaccid
And quietly left the room

Copyright © Rico Leffanta | Year Posted 2017