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Beach Humorous Poems | Beach Poems About Humorous

These Beach Humorous poems are examples of Beach poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Beach Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Footle |


Hot sun What fun Soft sand How grand Blue sea For me High tide Surf side Beach babe In shade Undress Top less No finds Tan lines Swim suit… pursuit He sports Tight shorts Romance? No chance Jan Allison Casarah Nance 1st December 2014

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014

Details | Limerick |


On this tropical beach, one hot summer day
Jim the Trim came, his bod to display
Been workin’ out day and night
Made the girls' eyes burn bright
Next, he's running from muscles that sashay

10 April 2015

Copyright © KP Nunez | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme |


I encountered her on a dark stormy night Her huge trout like lips were a scary sight Strands of white spittle formed on angry lips huge folds of fat spilled over her wobbly hips With scaly grey skin and blood red eyes and legs so fat they chafed her thighs Hair tangled and matted like limp seaweed She reeked like a fish of an ancient breed Reaching out for me with her claw like nails Slime dripped from her hands like rancid snails I tossed her a coin and hurried on my way She’s not been seen since that stormy day 03-28~17

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017

Details | Haiku |

places I've peed haiku series

Sun glints off ripples
Play of light in sheltered cove
Scenic lavatory

Backyard full of stars
Footsteps crack on frozen grass
Moonlit lavatory

Forested mountain side
Above twisting single track
Rider’s lavatory

Over arid land
Falling rain evaporates
Hot Aussie dunny

Sandy beach stretches
Tropical coral waters
Pristine lavatory

Beneath St. Paul’s dome
Lies manicured garden
Monumental lav.

Copyright © scott thirtyseven | Year Posted 2014

Details | Quatrain |

Picnics and Sand

Now I know that beach side picnics and sand
No matter how careful the planning go hand in hand
But it seems whether you sit or whether you stand
Nothing quite goes as you had planned

It doesn't really care where it goes
And I don't just mean between your toes
In your eyes and up your nose
And it doesn't smell like a bleeping rose!

In my shoes and down my shorts
I believe with demons this stuff consorts
To going naked I might resort
And I know I've swallowed at least a quart

When this picnic is over and back home I go
To the warm water of the showers flow
I'll wonder if your troubles are the same as mine
Do you have sand stuck where the sun doesn't shine?

©Donna Jones

Copyright © Donna Jones | Year Posted 2013

Details | Couplet |


Sad Sammy starfish, all alone on the beach Wishes for a soulmate, but no one is in reach He looks around, raises his hands into the air Is there a lonely starfish somewhere out there He looks around and espies upon a rock A stunning pink starfish wearing a frock She is oh so beautiful he can only stare Has he found that special someone there He sidles over to her and soon catches her eye Will she be his playmate; he looks up to the sky Sammy wants hold her hand and ask her for a date But which hand would he hold for this starfish has eight! They head off for a walk together along the golden sand You can see them strolling hand in hand in hand in hand Submitted to Story Poem Contest by Carol Eastman 26th April 2015

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015

Details | Monoku |


Bikini clad babes bouncing on a beach, a VERY popular spectator sport! 09~12~15 Contest – Sport One Liners Sponsor – Silent One

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2015

Details | Limerick |

A beach within my reach

I am a basset hound and I love to play
I can run and jump all day
I really love magic and tricks
I also love chocolate bics
Yummy! They are so good 
I would eat a packet a day if I could
My name is Lady and here is a story all about me
I'm a funny looking dog you see:

Lady was home alone
All she had was her green plastic bone
Her owners had gone out for the day
And Lady really wanted   to play
Miserable, she lay on the ground with her long floppy ears
With watery eyes, it seemed as though she was about to burst into tears
Suddenly she perked up when she heard a squeaking sound coming from the house
Lady became excited, she hoped it was a mouse
She barked out loud and ran towards the sound
Lady was such a clever basset hound
With her long nose, she sniffed out the little mouse in his hiding place
The whole morning turned into a playful ‘dog and mouse’ chase!
The mouse was too fast for her and escaped through a small crack in the wall
He was terrified of this funny looking dog who stood two feet tall
Exhausted, Lady flopped down in her basket to rest
She had tried her very, very best
She closed her eyes and had a long nap
And dreamt that she managed to squeeze through the scary dog flap
When Lady woke up, her throat felt dry
She needed a gallon of water to drink and she alone knew why!
The sun was shining and it was hot
She found her bowl and gulped down the lot
Lady looked at the new dog flap
She lifted up one of her paws and gave it a sharp tap
She took a chance and pushed herself through the gap
Relief flooded through her, she had made it out of the flap
Out in the sun
It was time for more fun
Lady headed to the beach
It wasn’t far, within her reach
Calm blue sea with the tiniest of waves
Grottos and amazing caves
Lady’s paw marks were all over the sand
She loved to play by the sea and on land
Cool air blew around her as she splashed around in the sea
What a great feeling it was to be free!
The aroma of food was all around
She was always hungry, this hilarious hound
An ice-cream van was parked nearby
Lady drooled and just stood by
A young couple spotted the little dog sitting down on her own
Her sad brown eyes caught their attention, they each bought her a cone
Lady wished that she could shout
She clenched both cones in her mouth
She licked off the chocolate ice-cream and wolfed down the rest

Copyright © Brigitte Pace | Year Posted 2015

Details | Narrative |

Caution - Fireworks

E-Z Glo Punk, Lightning Flash,
TNT Devices will burst, do crash
Southern Night, Piccolo Petes
       are hard to beat...

I like hand held Sparklers, Tanks
 flashing fountains, Solar Flare
 Six to #20 Gold I have to share,
 no incidence, no burns, thanks...

  Whistles blow, fountains glow,
 pop'n sounds, entire sky all aglow
 I love those colors, high an low
  trails eched onto my retina
  inspired me to let ya know

  Now you close both eyes
in pitch dark, what a surprise
  for you to see, right there
 darkness, absolutely  anywhere
beautiful trails of lights in motion
"Always read a label of caution"

Copyright © Perry Campanella | Year Posted 2013

Details | Light Poetry |

The Pink Princess

High noon sun would soon turn

Her petite, ruddy face into one freckle

She rubbed the juice from a fresh lime

Across her brow so the bangs might bleach

The white sand brushed the strand

and aquamarine surf that cut a split on the Caye

reflected mint green off the lens of her Wayfarers


Almost lathered in coconut oil

Her cutis emitted the scent of sandalwood

And warm mackeroons

Her smile hinted of a sweet, pitted apricot

Its puckered core with eyes closed

Waiting for that first kiss

That would never come


I met her in the morning last week

On the corner of happy and chirpy

The day she tossed her cookies in the street

And swore off cashew wine and meat pie

Her tummy hadn’t been the same since;

The because of a picnic basket brimming

With plain yogurt and sourdough sticky buns


“Look at that phosphorescent fish” she exclaimed

Spurting seawater that had backed up

in the snorkel tube into my eyes, her mask

catawampus across her cheeks

“I think you mean fluorescent” retorted I

“it is all the same” she beamed

And smacked her face back into the water


I couldn’t help but chuckle

And dove down so she would not notice

Shadows off the palm leaves told me

It was time to head back to the water taxi

With what remained of her chartreuse

Lipstick, she now resembled a fried crustacean

It made me hungry and I longed for croutons


She either talked or sang something like

A muzzled version of Del Shannon’s “Down in the Boondocks”

The entire trip

When we docked her now blond locks

Sheared her rostrum and her

White teeth winked at me

Oh my …. Shall I say goodbye?

Copyright © Alan Reed | Year Posted 2012

Details | Limerick |

Beach Birthdays

To the lake to the lake,
Fish to fry clams to bake.
This has been grandmother's cry
Now on birthdays she brings rye,
If just once she'd bring a cake.

Copyright © Richard Breese | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme |


I found MESHELL lying on the sand With a ROSIE glow on her skin She wanted it to turn OLIVE brown But she looked like a roasted chicken! We wandered into the JADE WALTER EnJOYed a swim and a long paddle Then went to find her beach towel Where an eNORMAs man was straddled You’re taking the MICKEY I told him Give MESHELL back her beach towel He said don’t be so picky … he was quite CURT I’ll HARRY on back to my fowl He lived locally with his maiden ANT And he scarpered back home to his GLEN If he’d touched MESHELL I would DEC him I can’t abide RANDY predatory old men! I’d seen him on his TODD at the Karaoke club He was very ANDY behind the MIKE Wearing ripped GENES and RAY bans He’d BOB around then go home on his bike Contest What’s in a Name Sponsored by Viv Wigley 11~11~16 Names used...Meshell*, Rosie, Olive, Jade, Walter*, Joy*, Norma*, Mickey, Harry*, Curt, Ant, Glen, Dec, Randy, Todd, Andy, Mike, Gene*, Ray, Bob. * poetic licence used with these names

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

Details | Rhyme |


He so longed to touch Her peachy tanned tush When he spied her there on the beach Lusting from afar At her bikini top bra Each boob looked like a ripe peach Her juicy pert curves Would be his hors d’oeuvres If his hand her tush he could reach With his wife by his side His desires were denied If she knew, then she’d start to screech! 14th August 2016

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2016

Details | Light Poetry |


we're going kick
and twist
jam eat spam
it'll on the sand with a band
come lets have bash

Copyright © kurtis scott aka curtis futch jr | Year Posted 2013

Details | Free verse |

Recipe for Creating a Popular Poem

Start with a whole bunch of seashells.
Add sand,  and maybe a lighthouse.

Stir in some fish, and maybe some seagulls
hovering over the rocks in the distance.

Humans are optional
but try to add children
building sandcastles on the beach.

Then make sure you emphasize 
how the tide will wash them away
and how life is like that,
boo hoo.

Copyright © Christine Lehman | Year Posted 2016

Details | Footle |


Folks stare He’s bare! No smalls Cold balls! Chilly Willy Teeny Weeny Dinky Winkie Fig leaf Relief! 03~20~17

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017

Details | Bio |

Expert shit

I can tell the difference between 
horse shit and cow shit,
I can tell the difference between
sheep shit and dog shit,
turn out I'm an expert 
on all kinds of shit.

Elizabeth alexander               25/1/2016.

Copyright © elizabeth alexander | Year Posted 2016

Details | Verse |


I dream of spending my hibernation
on a coconut palm  in the Caribbean
where instead of sleeping 
morning, noon and night
I’ll be too busy 
chomping down nutty peanut cakes 
and sipping daiquiris  of acorns and coconuts!

                                                                             Written by: Mia Pratt, 2016

Copyright © Mia Pratt | Year Posted 2016

Details | Verse |


Watching the tourists
wasting away
here all season 
searching for 
sun baked sponge cakes
and that frozen concoction 
haven't a clue 
on how to cruise on back home 

                                                                             Written by: Mia Pratt,2016

A Found Poem based on/adapted from the song lyrics of "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffett

Copyright © Mia Pratt | Year Posted 2016

Details | Couplet |

Beach That Had Been Benched

Beach That Had Been Benched

After all the waves would have been amassed
And then by in my mind probably passed
Was no sound, seemed to be silent shore
Once way back when we truly did adore.

On you this thought had to be unloaded
Your beautiful beach would become corroded
And following that slowly drift out to sea
Where with you and me no longer will be.

So why is perfect only that pictures are
While we continue to wonder how far
People may try to take us these days
Would help if they offered some praise.

Praise for all of coast may want the most
Then always about it can brag and boast
But with you we still want to pick a bone
Why didn't you leave our lovely beach alone?

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet

Copyright © James Horn | Year Posted 2015

Details | Senryu |


on a sandy shore they made mad passionate love… beach baby conceived! 10-12-17

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2017