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Funny January Poems | Funny Poems About January

These Funny January poems are examples of Funny poems about January. These are the best examples of Funny January poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Limerick |

The Non-Resolver

I’ve been watching my weight since 14, but with all of the diets I’ve seen, they’ve become a big no-no. This here dieting yo-yo has stopped trying to be super lean! Other problems I’ll change as I go. I don’t need a New Year to say so! Said a wise sailor man: I yam what I yam! Why improve on a good thing - ya know? So the cause of the most bellyaching at this time of the year I’m forsaking. When you know yourself well. . . why then go through such hell! Resolutions I’ll never be making. For the the New Year's Resolution Poetry Contest of Regina Riddle

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2012



Details | Acrostic |

Me and Eeyore, On the Year of My Birth

Just          my mother tryin for 
anothur          moment of agonised , blisful but
nevurending          hapiness, sharin with no one hur 
uninterupting          joy until my overly large but othurwise
average          head appears and the docter says, "anothur
regular          ordinary baby, happy new 
year          I'm sory, what did you say his name was"



08/13/2015

Copyright © James Inman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Limerick |

January

Time to figure consarned taxes again

     And Christmas bills come due giving me pain

          Let's delete January

               And start with February

                    January has come to be my bane

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
©   All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme |

So Much For Good Luck

An old southern tradition said to bring good luck throughout the year,
Is to eat black-eyed peas on New Years Day, a custom they hold so dear.
This Yankee boy had never heard of such 'til I wed my Confederate spouse!
Now, sixty years later we still observe that strange practice at our house!

Be that as it may, I'm not all that convinced that it really holds true,
And I'll relate for you a few curious events to prove my point of view!
In January of last year it froze so hard that my water line burst!
Mind you, the year had hardly begun - that was on January the first!

In March it snowed so hard that the blossoms froze on my apple tree!
There'd be no luscious fruit to chomp on for the squirrels, birds or me!
On the fifteenth of April I faithfully submitted my tax forms as required.
I received a notice in July that my presence for an IRS audit was desired!

In August the neighbor kid hit a home run that shattered my windowpane!
My 'in good hands' insurance wouldn't cover the cost, much to my disdain!
In October the airline lost all of our luggage, which is no great surprise!
(Hence, we'll ride AMTRAK when we travel in lieu of the friendly skies!)

I reckon my run of tough luck is just one of the rummy vicissitudes of life,
But oft' I muse, "Lord, is it only to me that such things happen so rife?"
(This was written with considerable tongue in cheek and to have a little fun.
I'll keep on eatin' black-eyed peas to better my luck, when all is said and done!)

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2012

Details | Prose Poetry |

January 1st

Relieving myself
After a long night
I smiled a bit
Thinking
I havent peed
Since last year!

Copyright © CJ Krieger | Year Posted 2012