Pweeze wet me expwain, officer -
I taught it was dat wascally wabbit agin...
buwwowing under my ewectric fence,
eating up my cawwots. wettece, my bwoccoli
and-and...even my woot-a-beggers!
He's a weal pest...constantwee hawassing me,
destwoying, wandom wooting, wuining my cwop...
din waughing at me! (Dere outta be a waw)
Wha...awwest me?...Dis is an outwage!
I am a waw-abiding citizen!...Wead me my wights!
I demand pwoper mis-wepwesentation!
I am going diwectly to your superwior office, pwivate!
Bewieve it my fwiend, you will wive to wegwet this...
Ow! Must you be so fweekin WUFF?...Dat hoits!
I have woomatism you know! Powice bwutality! Po...
Aw scwew it...Wes! Wes! I moidered da widdle bum!
(Wunning awound dwessed wike dat
distwibuting doze siwwie cowoured eggs
Embawassing widdle cweature...
It's a downwight disgwace I tell you)
Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2013
I'll give you my best diagnosis
Your bunny has caught a psychosis.
His drum bangs so loud
It disperses the crowd
But at least it's not myxomatosis*.
See Jan Allison's hilarious original Limerick Bunny Can Bang All Night.
* Myxomatosis: A viral infection of rabbits.
Copyright © Ray Gridley | Year Posted 2017
Easter bunny race
Fell as he could not keep pace
Muddy bunny face
Copyright © Carol Sunshine Brown | Year Posted 2012
I have a ridiculously large head,
I think I’d opt for a smaller one instead.
Oh, sure, you say that it suits me fine,
That’s because yours isn’t near as big as mine.
I bet that it weights at least thirty pounds,
It looks even bigger than it sounds.
When I lay it down on my waterbed,
A tsunami rises so my wife has said.
When I go to try on winter hats,
The clerk gives me ones with ventilation slats,
That way when it’s not on sitting my dome,
It can be used as a guest room for my home.
My giant head is entirely too big,
Someday archeologists will venture on dig,
They’ll think that I came from the highland,
On the west end of Easter Island.
Little kids stare up at my noggin,
They think it could be used for a toboggan.
Or a shed to hold random hodgepodge,
That clutters things up in their dad’s garage.
Don’t tell me that it’s due to my intellect,
It makes your judgment sound suspect.
It’s because my brain is fashioned like a brick,
And my skull is so very, very thick.
Copyright © Tony Lane | Year Posted 2011
Do the Easter Hop
Basket filled with Sweet Joy
Candy and A Toy
Copyright © Patricia Sawyer | Year Posted 2008
Today I am going to hop my way to my brother.
To tell him how I feel about not being together.
I thought I could be so kind.
I saw him by the road side and I was blind.
I could just end it all by now.
Today I tried a cow.
It really was hard to do.
Then I hired a semi crew.
I watched carefully, darn he is fast!
My name is Happy ?, I'm Easter's brother who is sad.
He painted eggs that made me jealous and bad.
I hopped one day and he threw an egg at me.
My heart became really cold that memory was key.
I finally thought of it an accident really is going to happen.
Happy Easter is going to be laugh-en.
Good to see you, I said to a mystery man.
I was told not to associate with any human.
It was my last resort.
The man had a sports car a beautiful sort.
I was desperate, now, I'm in a bunny court.
Copyright © Reynaldo Mast | Year Posted 2013
Ever wonder, the sort of things that Dragon and Hubby do when together?
Well never fear, I’m here to explain a Spring Day routine in good weather.
Easter was upon us, as they worked out in the sun, getting the yard, so ready.
Yes, for the Easter Bunny to come, and to make the wee ones, oh, so happy.
First they had to make the area, so perfect, for the Grand Easter Egg Hunt.
That means those pesky little moles will simply, have to get out of Dodge.
Working together, Hubby opened up a mole hole and hollered, fire in the hole.
Dragon puffed hot air into the hole, as moles popped out from… everywhere.
Oh, bye the bye, they weren’t singed, for Dragon blew only hot air, my friend.
Then Hubby collected them quickly in a basket to take them to a better home.
Somewhere else, far… far… away, where scampering children will not roam.
Here, everyone stomped the molehills down, so none, could fall over or within.
Then, Hubby let Dear sweet Dragon, use the leaf blower to pile the gumballs.
You know, those spikey, golf ball size things, with sharp edges all around.
Perhaps, a tad better, directions on where to blow them could’ve been found.
For Daddy was heard going Ouch! OW! OW! Before he got out, from in front.
Finally, those little nasty spikes were piled, and ashed, and placed in the can.
This deserved a big reward, as Dragon proudly, heated a pot of hot chocolate.
Yes, Dragon added his own dear warming touch, before the coco passed around.
But never let it ever be said, that a new lesson can’t be learned, and theirs was…
Never! Bring a smoking Dragon to a hayride, as Hubby & Dragon finished off…
The Night… In a blaze of glory… or rather… with a little touch of fright!
The Easter Egg Hunt was to start early, so the Easter Bunny joined us at sunrise.
We all went to work, except Dragon, cause with him, nothing stands a chance.
Puddle-ie goods of yummies tend to take the fun out of the Easter Egg Hunt.
Suddenly, Dragon tried to trip the Bunz, with his tail, but the hopper, prevailed!
But by then, Dragon was totally flustered and trying to whomp him with his tail!
Then, Hubby arrived, to save the day, and find Dragon with a Cheshire cat grin.
Not to mention the bedazzled cape that said ‘The Easter Bunny’, in all out bling!
If that didn’t give up his plot: Those great big Bunny Ears tied upon his head did.
When Dragon couldn’t stop the Bunz, his penguins with their first aid box… did.
The Bunz was becoming a mummy when Hubby hurriedly rushed to intervene.
Tho, where they might have taken him, might have been priceless to be seen.
In the end, a truce was formed, and the Bunz got Dragons cape. And Dragon?
He got to give the Bunz a ride, smack dab, in the middle of the Easter Parade!
The penguins learned Bunz's nose isn’t broke, just because it’s short and wiggles.
Thank goodness Hubby got there in time, or a Bunz with a Gorilla Glued-in beak
Might have been hard to explain! … The End
Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2015
Eight elephants ate eight eggs on Easter in England with eighty eight elves.
Copyright © cory long | Year Posted 2011
He knows if you are sleeping,
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if you've been bad or good.
Zombie Jesus must be staked!
So eat your crackers and wine,
And think that you'll be saved,
But that's not why he's here because
Your brains are what he craves!
He'll never stop his rampage.
Not until he's fully fed,
But nothing satisfies his hunger
Like what rattles in your head.
He's coming down the chimney.
He's underneath your bed.
You think you can outrun him,
But soon you will be dead.
So you better not whisper,
You better not cry
Cuz even a shot between his eyes
Won't stop Zombie Jesus, tonight..
Copyright © Tomas Vazquez | Year Posted 2016
The Easter Rabbit had a spat with his wife
She said the dumb eggs were ruining her life
Laying eggs is so boring
Then there's your snoring
He met his demise with her carving knife...
NOTE:..apparently she borrowed the knife from
the farmer's wife ,who had been having trouble
with some blind mice.
For the "Clue" contest
Copyright © Barbara Gorelick | Year Posted 2013
EASTER EGGS EVERYWHERE
Fun Filled Freedom.......
Giddy Giggly Games...
How ya' Hangin'???
Just Jolly Joey!
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!
Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO | Year Posted 2011
What happened to poor Easter Bunny, was it murder, misfortune or fate?
What to tell the children when the treats are unforgivably late.......
It could have been the tooth fairy, accidently raining teeth as she flew by
Poor Bunny pierced by sharp teeth, extremely deadly from way up high
It could have been Cupid, letting his haphazardly arrows fly
Poor Bunny punctured by a miscalculated arrow gone awry
It could have been Jack Frost, getting in his last frost before the end of the year
Poor Bunny frozen solid, all that is left sticking out from the snow... a lone ear
It could have been St. Patrick, preaching Christianity in Bunny's ear
Poor Bunny died of an aneurysm hearing bible stories so severe.
It could have been Jack-o-lantern with numerous carvings meant to scare
Poor Bunny had a heart attack, frightened to death, and he without healthcare.
It could have been Santa, driving reckless with mounds of gifts to deliver everywhere
Poor Bunny trampled by reindeer, that he was unable to hop any faster, is so unfair
Which story will you tell your child....why the Easter Bunny comes no more?
Will you confess, that you led your child astray with fabled stories of folklore.
Contest name ~ Clue: Who Murdered the Easter Bunny?
Sponsor ~ Lisa Cooper Poetessdarkly
Copyright © Cecilia Macfarlane | Year Posted 2013
A crowded table, all suspended in shock
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?
Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?
They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?
Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!
Copyright © Dan Keir | Year Posted 2013
Oh No! Oh No! What has my son done? I hope it’s, not already to late!
He lives at a fraternity house, and surely, you know THAT intense mental state.
March has St. Patrick’s Day, Spring Break, and has, of course, Easter in it, too.
So they decided to have some great fun, yes, a fun filled month to happily ensue.
They invited a Leprechaun, the Easter Bunny, and the king of bongos, a gnome.
Apparently they convinced everyone it’d be more fun, to Simply… Stay… Home.
The whole campus flooded thru that fraternity house, in the party’s that ensued.
And they convinced the Easter Bunny to do jello shots in every color and hue.
He became known as THE BUN, yes, The One who finally, truly could fly…
And the Leprechaun danced till he dropped… to a great bongo serenade, aye.
There was no SIMPLY about this! As the music rocked the frat house, next door.
And girls were seen coming and going, at all hours, even passed out on the floor.
This was the party no one missed… even the frat house with the snobs, were there.
It’s said even some of the President’s security attended, partying there, somewhere.
Before they were done, a plan was sown, as the gnome found it’s yearly, new home.
Yes, it got there, in Washington somehow, on the top of the Real ‘White House’ Dome.
But along the way THE BUN was lost… some where along the never-ending roads.
The Leprechaun called me, our Dragons and Trolls, to help, to search the highroads.
The poor little guy was so pie eyed, when we found him along that crazy way, so…
We fixed him up, we didn’t give up, until we could send him, into that Easter Frey.
Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2013
Here comes Santa Claus
The Easter Bunny’s with him
Great! Tooth Fairy too!
Copyright © Joseph Spence Sr | Year Posted 2006
It’s been ten days, the Easter Bunny is gone with hardly a trace,
The Missus is inconsolable- an Easter basket-case,
Evidence in plastic bags, some fibers and some fur,
The family suspects foul play, the police, they do concur,
This once pristine meadow has senselessly been fouled,
Safety and security has now been disemboweled,
“Mark my woids!” Bugs cried out “Sample that bastids’ blood!”
“No one hates rabbits more than that twisted Elmer Fudd!”
“You’re paranoid” Rodger snorted “the one who murders for kicks...
is that obvious cereal killer, the rabbit from the box of Trix,
“Wrong again” sniffed Uncle Wiggly, “you’re no kind of private-eye”
“But speaking of tricks, when you see her next, tell Jessica that I said hi”
“You can’t just point your finger and tell the police to slap on the cuffs”,
You’re so afraid of your own shadow; you’ve filled your pants with cocoa puffs,
Peter leapt up “A demented rabbit killer, it’s McGregor that’s plain to see!”
“He’s got my clothes on a pole in his garden, hanging in effigy!”
Wiggly shot back “…or is it gang related? Their alibis are somewhat frail”,
“Exactly where were those thugs, Flopsie, Mopsie and Cottontail?
“Hanging around Thumper and Br’er Rabbit; I tell you they’re all the same!”
“Do I really have to remind you all how Thumper got his name?”
Borrowing their hole deeper and deeper, down into that rabbit hole
Theories and explanations, none of which could console,
It will make little difference, because now there will be no Easter
The debate will go on and on, as scared rabbits talk out their keisters,
In a squalid little burrow on the wrong side of the rabbit tracks
Amid the empty red bull cans, lies a bloody axe,
On the handle of the door a “do not disturb’ sign is hanging
And in the bedroom is the Energizer; but it’s not his drum he’s banging,
There the recent widow is doing what bunnies do best,
Meanwhile across the field they are laying her hubby to rest.
March 5 1012
Copyright © Luke Irwin | Year Posted 2013
What a sad day
No more Easter bunny
I don't mean to laugh
But some tales are funny
I think in the end
It's really his fault
you would never guess
Who was locked in his vault
The bunny was Jealous
Of jolly old Saint Nick
He felt like second fiddle
To a jolly white haired prick
So when the vault door opened
He pushed old Nick inside
He thought to himself
I'll take his sleigh for a ride
Before he got going
He loaded eggs in the back
Each one carefully packed
In poor Santa's red sack
On Donner on Blitzen
They flew up in the sky
An inexperienced flyer
Is now a very dead guy
His tiny bunny body
Was bounced out from the sled
Rudolph tossed him out
So now the Bunny's dead
March 9th, 2013
Copyright © Richard Lamoureux | Year Posted 2013
"The Kitty and the Bunny" is a children's song, sung to the tune of "Pop! Goes the
'Round and 'round the dogwood tree
Kitty chased the Easter Bunny,
'Til Bunny tossed an egg
That broke Kitty's leg;
And Kitty cried, "This game ain't fun-ny!".
Bonus activity: Give children some crayons and paper and have them turn this poem into a comic strip. Tell them you would use four boxes for your comic strip: one showing Kitty chasing the bunny, the next one showing the bunny tossing an egg, the next showing kitty holding his paw, and the last one showing tears streaming down Kitty's face. But, tell children they can use as few or as many boxes as they like for their comic strips and even change the storyline. The dogwood tree becomes an apple tree and bunny is seen pelting Kitty with apples. Perhaps squirrels join in the fight and start throwing acorns at Kitty.
Copyright © Cherie Durbin | Year Posted 2011
A hit and run of epic proportion The Easter conspiracy in motion The CIA FBI Interpol perplexed Who done it who will be next Scotland yard the challenge not met the Reg. The goose no longer lays the golden egg Public supply and demands satisfaction Who will it be it is up to you investigation Slow to the game the cards are on the the table The only glue you get a fable - for Lisa Cooper Poetessdarkly contest -Who murdered the Easter bunny? 3/5/2013
Copyright © John Beam | Year Posted 2013
‘ ‘’’’’’’’’’ ‘ ‘
Weighing scale breaks for a gal too plump
Nibbling chocolates instead of carrot sticks,
“I want to be a model, why is life such a dump?”
So off to the gym she heads for a quick fix, fix!
Her waist still a round 31- inches after months
Of high fatty food she can’t scratch on her note,
Auditions call, she’s craving to fit into slim pants
With more Easter honey making her bloat, bloat
She meets a retired, old magician who can nail it
At last, curved figure she’ll have without big tummy,
Swoosh! He pulls her from wrapped cage like a rabbit
And swirls, turning poor gal into a fake Playboy bunny!
For Carol Brown’s Bunny Rabbit by nette onclaud
Copyright © nette onclaud | Year Posted 2012
They say the Easter bunnies comes the same time every year,
escaping from a Lab somewhere, they holes up around here.
They smells of smoke and iodine, wear lipstick and eye drops,
They’s lost her lucky feet somewhere and that is why they hops.
Their Coney furs desirable, and their quarters good for food,
although not free of chemicals, it really tastes quite good.
Their wracking coughs and bloodshot eyes, puts hunters off the match,
tobacco drugs and alcohol, makes them an easy catch.
Their chocolate eggs they lays in fields, each wrapped in silver foil,
are excellent when eaten fresh, but awful when they’re boiled.
Copyright © DAVID WALLACE | Year Posted 2012
Marsh mellow peeps
a wonderful treat.
Yellow pink or blue
all of them stick like glue
on easter , christmas or even halloween
I like peeps and pass on jelly beans .
Some have said they can cure the common cold
others say it reminds them of yellow slime mold
what can I say ?
it doesnt matter to me either way
but personally my favorite type is
the ones you put in the microwave oven
and watch as they bubble, pop and fizz
Copyright © rebecca travis | Year Posted 2008
Easter is a time where we construe
The beauty of renewal blooming through
Little birds that chirp above the vales
While sweeter ladies peep at passing males
Charming is the humour passing round
Faint scent of Tulips, Daffodils abound
Strolling couples giggle by a stream
Planning the delights they like to dream
Gazebos filled with bands that blow their brass
Shiny belts and buckles, best in class
‘Le déjeuner sur l'herbe’ a luncheons treat
A very Manet way in which to meet
Ah Easter is a time for daring stuff
Two clothed men that dine with naked fluff
At last the joys of springtime are revealed
Milk white flesh and precious else concealed
©david byrne Easter 2012
Copyright © David Byrne | Year Posted 2012
'Mommy who killed the Easter Bunny?'
'Oh my! Nobody honey.
You see Saint Nick and the Tooth Fairy,
they had something for him to carry;
With his energy from sugary sweets,
He has some very quick feet;
But he did not realize
How quick the time does fly;
With all that helping
He did not realize his day was coming;
So you see he's not dead,
He is running late instead.'
'Oh Mommy that's ok.
He can bring my candy today!'
'Great.' Mom says to herself
'There goes my mental health.'
Copyright © Melani Udaeta | Year Posted 2013
It all started when Sleeping Beauty slapped Cinderella
Then Snow White retaliated and hit her with an umbrella
as Ariel the little Mermaid's tail turned into legs
Prince Erick and Prince Charming stole the Easter bunny's eggs.
As Alice from wonderland grew five times her size
Hansel and Gretel attacked her by surprise
While Puss in Boots fought Peter pan
Captain Hook and Ursula produced an evil master plan.
Rapunzel chatted with Red Riding hood
and the three little pigs were up to no good
Thumbelina still aspired to grow
and Rumpelstiltskin has a name he thought no one would know
Jack climbed the beanstalk which was later cut down
by the woman in the shoe who stole Cinderellas wedding gown.
The wicked witch of the west set the woman's shoe ablaze
and Dorothy clicked her heels but didn't return home for thirty days.
When fairy tales get messy this is what well never see
but this is what fairy tales would be like if it were up to me...
Copyright © Ella Marley | Year Posted 2008
easter is coming
filled eggs,jelly beans, and more
Copyright © karen croft | Year Posted 2012
Off Season Santa
Cajun Santa won’t ever be seen
Buying Christmas candy in New Orleans
He has a whole group of Elves back in the swamp
Making Cajun candy for the kids to chomp
Summer time Santa in his cutoff jeans
Stirring a big ol pot of rice and beans
Here comes Mrs. Clause with her fishing pole
She wants to head down to the Crawfish hole
Christmas Cajun Santa has toys on his back
Summer Cajun Santa totes a crawfish sack
The mud bugs have been cooked the Elves have been fed
Time for Cajun Santa to slip off to bed
He took his ball cap off of his head
He looked at Mrs. Clause, This is what he said
We can rest now, I love you honey
But I think this year I’ll help the Easter Bunny
Copyright © mack toler | Year Posted 2015
Checking the lights on the dashboard when they flash and stay red:
it's the oil that needs to be changed or the engine that requires
maintenance, and in frigid temperatures who would venture outside and get frostbites?
A car is a necessity, a commodity and besides daily pleasure, it may cost a lot indeed.
Running to the grocery store through the backdoor when milk is low,
and guests wait for a fresh coffee pot and you put on a face not so mellow,
and much worse when you forget the roast in the oven...the bird you admire,
and smoke fills your kitchen...you just dial 911 and scream, " My house in on fire! "
But the worst one that can send you into havoc...
when the mean kid down the block throws a rock
and your window shatters and the cat flees with the swiftest animal beat,
but the dog gets vicious and runs after him by exposing his sharp teeth.
Ever forgot to send your mom a Christmas or Easter card?
She'll call you the same day knowing that the Post office won't deliver,
and what her voice will sound like? Soft or harsh, or angry as a bard?
I can imagine the words she will say, " Have you forgotten something, dear? "
These are just few of them that can drive you crazy like wild kids who love to fight
and make you head spin and ache until you sit down and take a break by a lamplight,
" Ouch!" You got burned from the splashing water while draining your steamy pasta...
you complain,"It's overcooked and not al dente!" And like mother you exclaim,"Basta!"
* The word "Basta" in Italian means " It's enough "
Copyright © Andrew Crisci | Year Posted 2011
There's this little fuzzy wuzzy bunny,
Who all year round eats loads of honey.
Now you’d expect his tummy to be runny
This fuzzy wuzzy little bunny
However, the honey has an adverse effect
And when I tell you, you will not like it I expect
The poor sod suffers from severe constipation
Until he feels a bowel movement sensation
He seeks a discrete place to release
The load that make him look obese
His baked in for a year in his tummy
The poor fuzzy wuzzy little bunny
With his hind legs astride, bunny squats just a bit
Knowing the pain he has to suffer when it's time to have a sh-t
First, come out as little pebbles then follow the great big boulders
The kind that gives him the feeling his been split from his a-se to his shoulders
He chews grass as a medicinal lozenge
To numb his a-se that now looks like a blood orange
Fuzzy wuzzy little bunny knows it all over when he lets out a great big fart
Then picks up his mess discretely and hides it in isle 14 at Kwik Mart.
Copyright © Sidney Hall Mad Poet | Year Posted 2011
Saw Humpty Dumpty roll down the street
Seemed to be escaping from a color tweak
Into the gutter he fell,
Shell seemed to be well
I then heard the heroes in a half shell
They picked up Mr. Dumpty and had a pow wow.
I heard something about Ms. Bunny needing a lesson
Apparently egg die is too big a sensation.
Many eggs dipped in liquid,
Feels like a interrogation
They have no beans to spill
Only option they have is faking a thrill
Turtles feel bad and they strike a deal
Wish I'd followed after hearing the news next day
Ms. Bunny, the Turtles, and Mr. Dumpty were to convene
Sadly, Ms. Bunny never made another basket
I believe the heroes in the half shell completed a bad deed
And Mr. Dumpty paid them off with pizza
Copyright © Sharon Morken | Year Posted 2013