Limerick Christmas Poems | Limerick Poems About Christmas

These Limerick Christmas poems are examples of Limerick poems about Christmas. These are the best examples of Limerick Christmas poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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You got a duff gift from your ‘mate’ Too large, in a colour you hate It simply won’t fit You’ll never wear it No nookie mate now you can wait! 12~28~14 A Quintain Christmas - Andrea Dietrich ~awarded 3rd place~

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014

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You'd Better Not Pout

Kicking Santa is not nice to do.
Chuck Norris has replaced him, 'tis true.
You'd better not pout,
or a swollen snout,
and a stocking of whoop-ass for you!
12/21/14 Contest: A Quintain Christmas Sponsor: Andrea Dietrich

Copyright © Arlene Smith | Year Posted 2014

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Santa’s little helper felt poorly sick Couldn’t deliver presents for Saint Nick His red nose was gleaming Blue eyes they were streaming I hope that Santa will give him some Vick 24th December 2014

Copyright © JAN ALLISON | Year Posted 2014

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Christmas Limerick

Upon this very merry Christmas night,
Mrs. Claus has reason to be uptight, 
   Not Rudolph’s nose that’s red,
   But Mr. Claus’s instead,
He rides slopes in sleigh with Miss Fanny Bright!

For Christmas Contest
Sponsored by Francine Roberts

Copyright © john freeman | Year Posted 2010

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Mrs. Santa on last Christmas Eve
Was so naughty , at trying to deceive.
Not the slightest bit coy
When she met her toy~boy....
Now , believe what YOU want to believe .

Rudolf the randy raindeer
Took his lady friend out for a beer.
Then he took off his clothes.
Showed~off his red nose..
Saying.. who the hell said, I was queer...

What's the worst place at Christmas to be ?
Perhaps a turkey~dish laced with gravy....
It's more painful and airy
To be some poor fairy
With your +++  on the top of the tree .


Copyright © Sean Kelly | Year Posted 2007

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An Eavesdropping On Christmas Therapy

Four characters that we know well
have problems they all want to tell
in therapy group.
To get all the scoop,
let’s eavesdrop, for all is not well!

Believing no more in himself,
sits dear Santa Claus and an elf
who is hating his work.
Santa says, “What jerk.
I should put you back up on your shelf!”

The elf, in a huff, then fires back
(for confidence HE does not lack),
“I believed in you once,
when you weren’t such a dunce.
Old geezer, go stuff your own sack!”

The anger inside the room grows
when Rudolph, who hates his red nose,
screams, “Don’t say such stuff.
St. Nick’s work is tough,
and MY job, dear elf, frankly BLOWS.

You elves get to go to the mall
and smile at the children and all.
No one’s calling you names
as you play reindeer games.”
The elf yells, “At least you’re not SMALL.

You think you have woes? Look at ME.
I’m called silly names constantly.
There’s a song about YOU
and your red nose debut.
Geez, a hero you’ve now come to be!!

An elf is an elf all the same.
Kids don’t even know my real name.
Reindeer get names like Cupid.
Well, your name should be STUPID.
What I would not give for YOUR fame!”

A snowman sits stoically there.
He turns to the arguing pair.
“A carrot’s MY nose!
To death I have froze,
yet I’m melting right now in this chair!”

Dec. 25, 2016 for Laura Loo's Silly Christmas Cartoon Poetry Contest

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2016

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Santa's Little Helper

One Christmas Santa’s elf helped St. Nick a LOT
Cooing ‘Hey big boy, wanna see what I got?
She returned in a Nightie
Santa gasped, “Lord a’mighty!”
“Now St. Nick’s gonna show you what SANTA’S got”...

Submitted for: Andrea’s contest and oh, by the way, presents were delivered a bit late that year due to ‘Nicky’s Quikie’

Copyright © Tim Ryerson | Year Posted 2014

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Pets on Parade

"Pets on Parade" on Christmas Eve two kitty cats were sleeping as Santa Claus climbed down the chimney creeping Excalibur started to purr Gabriel raised his black fur poor Santa was startled and began weeping. while Santa was chased by playful felines trotting toward them a band of hungry canines sweet Venus the white Wstie was growing quite testy for commotion interrupted her night sublime. Thor and Thunder twin midnight blue great danes frolicked in fun as Santa reached for red candy canes they took giant licks opened Santa's bag of tricks as Raider the Shepherd smeared frosty windowpanes. pretty pets on parade on Christmas Eve had a jolly good time you best believe sharing cookies and milk with the Moon smooth as silk and Santa was so happy to leave. *For SKAT'S Calling All Pet Poems ..

Copyright © Linda-Marie SweetHeart | Year Posted 2012

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Confessions of a Teenage Boy

This year I asked Santa for a Harley
And a flagon of wine made of barley.
  Then I asked God alone
  For an angel of my own...
No, not one of His, one of Charlie's!

           December 2015

        For Limerick Contest
        Sponsor: Jan Allison

As a teenage boy I loved Cheryl Ladd.

Copyright © Keith Trestrail | Year Posted 2015

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You'd Better Not Pout

If no diamonds Ill try not to pout
For that’s not what Christmas is all about
Ill take  Zirconium
Though its a Phonyium
But in the bedroom there could be a drought

Just kidding of course...

Copyright © Barbara Gorelick | Year Posted 2014

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Bah Humbug

A Grinch in a hamlet of Whovilles

Stole credit cards, ringing up big bills

     Without checking price tags

     He murmured, “Bah, Scumbags”

For this is how grinches get their thrills!

*January 3, 2015

Copyright © Carolyn Devonshire | Year Posted 2015

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So What's Up With Santa

Poor Santa came down with a very bad cold
Thought he might have to put Xmas on hold
But Mrs Clause drove the sleigh
Rudolph laughed all the way
"The best Xmas ever!" so we've been told

Women rock! lol
For Jerry's contest...

Copyright © Barbara Gorelick | Year Posted 2014

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Christmas Limmerick

Christmas Eve is finally here Add Dragon's fun plus Santas' winter run Then celebrate Christ all year But then we are weird so... May the Angels' forgive us Dragon made a great BIG fuss The live manger scene Has Dragon being Baby Jesus, yes, it's nuts It'll be warm with our klutz The manger group's got guts But that is OK Fire is our way Maybe they should use robots Tho we will have lots of light! Hold the extinguisher tight! Run if he burps Or makes a chirp His cocoa had knockout drops

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2015

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Holiday Goodies

Holiday goodies, hung round the tree
They are the best you must agree
So did the dog then guess what
Up they all came, steaming hot
Next time just baubles and lights you'll see

Copyright © Seren Roberts | Year Posted 2014

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What's Up With Santa

I arrived at the party that night
In my outfit of red, black and white
Turned to skinny not round
Pillow fell to the ground
Ho Ho Santa became Ha Ha sight!

Sandra M. Haight

~2nd Place~
Contest: Silly Christmas Cartoon
Sponsor: Laura Loo
Christmas Group Therapy - Santa "I don't believe in myself"!
Judged: 01/17/2017

~Honorable Mention~
Contest: What’s Up With Santa?
Sponsor: Jerry T. Curtis
Judged 12/08/2014

Copyright © Sandra Haight | Year Posted 2014

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Christmas eve dreams

     Tommy had loved music all his life
  And he enjoyed playing Christmas carols with his fife
 But when he came downstairs on Christmas eve
  He just couldn't believe
The present Santa was giving to  his wife

  So he hollered out to St Nick
" Hey, that's not the present I picked"
 But Santa kept saying ho ho ho
  While Rudolph waited out in the snow
 Then Tommy awoke from his dream  real quick

Copyright © Joseph May | Year Posted 2013

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Watch Your Diet, Santa

On his annual flight about the earth,

   Santa continues to expand his girth!

      'Tis due to cookies and milk,

         And other treats of that ilk,

            That he samples from Botswana to Perth!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2013

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The Kid Who Knew Squat About Christmas

“So tell me,” I asked the young boy,
“to whom does one owe Christmas joy?”
But the lad looked at me
and just said, “Can’t you see?
It means when you get the best toy!”

“Do you know why the wise men rode far
on their camels to follow a star?”
With surprise in his eyes,
he said, “How were they wise?
They should have just driven a car!”

“Do you know why we have Christmas day?”
But here’s all the poor kid could say:
“You spoke of some dude
that those ‘wise guy’ pursued.
Just WHO was this ‘star’ anyway?”

For PD's the 101 contests in a row --- 20 (Christmas Poems)Poetry Contest

Copyright © Andrea Dietrich | Year Posted 2010

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Who Knew-Peru

There once was a flawed broad named Maude
who wished to spend Christmas abroad
she ate Christmas dinner
with penniless sinners
for that was all Maude could afford.

Well ole Maude brought them black tea from China
and chocolate cakes from a diner
they ate guinea pig
and many a fig
while Maude poured them wine from Carolina.

Yes you've guessed it, I see that you knew
in Peru they eat Guinea Pigs in stew 
they wear colorful hats
and watch out for black bats
Maude's dinner will be in Cusco, Peru


Copyright © Debbie Guzzi | Year Posted 2012

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GOD: the goodness of determination,
a standard for better living creation.
to differentiate a civil or wild nation,
for smoothness a better flow no tension,
only patience, belief, trust asks to confirm.

Copyright © Daljit Khankhana | Year Posted 2013

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A Green Christmas

Looks like we could have a green Christmas this year Which is great as long as it snows on that day, d'ya hear Just that special day Then melt all away Let's not go overboard, can't wait for spring to appear © Jack Ellison 2015

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2015

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Getting married at Christmas

Once there was a man called sweet Christmas
took a vow to get married by one Christmas
fell in love with Madeleine balloon 
who was already with Santa moon
bloody could anyone ditch Santa by Christmas!

Written on 05-11-2013 for the contest “Getting married at Christmas” by Shadow Hamilton.

Copyright © POET. UNDERTAKER | Year Posted 2013

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A Jack Ellison Christmas

There once was a guy named Jack
Who daily brings Christmas back
As he makes the rounds
With his humorous sounds
We're  off to his house too unpack!

Copyright © Judy Konos | Year Posted 2015

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What Cookies - for contest

What Cookies?

After too many hits off the bong
he knew something was drastically wrong
when the fire place log
barked like a dog
at a Santa Clause wearing a thong.


Copyright © John lawless | Year Posted 2015

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After Christmas Let Down

The after Christmas “let down” is upon us All the hype is over, back to life's regular stuff Let's keep it alive Let happiness survive We can do it no matter how difficult or tough © Jack Ellison 2015

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2015

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A Jolly Old Gent

Christmas time is really quite near Just saw a sleigh and eight tiny reindeer With a jolly old gent As he made his ascent It's that magical time that we all hold so dear © Jack Ellison 2015

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2015

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Christmas Joy

Christmas Joy
Dr. James E. Martin
©December, 2012

	Was asked if Christmas was good,
	Particularly in my neighborhood.
	Responded that it was fine,
	A pocket full of bills is now mine,
	Maybe soon I’ll be singing as I should.

Copyright © DrJim Martin | Year Posted 2012

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Future of Christmas

santa is mad and no wonder why
can’t even wave as he dashes by
first hurry to Walmart
then on to Cuisinart
getting gifts on the shelf, by July

sooner and sooner display the ware
to heck with the reason to be there
just help me fill my stein
fatten my bottom line
ease my pain, raise my gain is my fare

pretty soon we will be years ahead
we’ll get gifts back after we are dead
with no way to exchange
we’ll have to pre arrange
for Santa to return them instead


© 18 Nov 2010 Charles Henderson placed 3 rd
 Carolyn's commercialized Holiday contest

Copyright © Charles Henderson | Year Posted 2010

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In the Spirit of Christmas

Merry Christmas to you, Uncle Sam
Leaving the jobless with hat in hand

   Congress on a Yuletide roll
   Brought an end to public dole --

They’re cooking their goose, not Christmas ham

*In honor of Francine's "Christmas Contest"

Copyright © Diane Locksley | Year Posted 2010

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Starbucks Song

There once was a company that brewed coffee
With lovely flavors like raspberry and toffee
     One year they made clear
     To remove all reindeer
Christians cry "Where's Holly Hobby?!?"

Copyright © Renee Kelly | Year Posted 2015