Funny Thanksgiving Poems | Funny Poems About Thanksgiving

These Funny Thanksgiving poems are examples of Funny poems about Thanksgiving. These are the best examples of Funny Thanksgiving poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Narrative |


They organized a church bazaar,
To raise money for the poor.
A booth for selling chances
Was set up, outside the door.

When I bought the raffle ticket, 
My reasoning was murky,
And I could only just believe it,
When I won that doggone turkey.

Now, the kids were all excited
When we brought the critter home.
So we placed him in the barnyard, 
Where he'd have lots of room to roam.

Since the date was late October,
I'm quite sure you understand,
That to have him for Thanksgiving
Was my awe inspiring plan.

Well, the turkey was no birdbrain,
As I was very soon to find.
That bird knew what I was thinking;
Why, I declare, he read my mind. 

I let the children care for him,
To my most profound regret--
He turned on his charming manner,
And, quickly, he became their pet.

But that fact did not deter me,
I told myself it didn't matter.
I was dead set and determined
To see that gobbler on a platter.

When the kids perceived my purpose,
They turned on the tears and pleas.
Then, the wife joined in their chorus,
And that brought me to my knees.

So I told my grieving family
They could dry up, and relax.
I concealed my disappointment--
Went and put away the axe.

Came the dinner of Thanksgiving,
Not a sad face could be found.
And our live Thanksgiving turkey
Was the gladdest bird around. 

We gathered around the table,
And I humbly asked the blessing--
While Tom gobbled down his corn, outside,
We had hotdogs and dressing. 

Copyright © William Robinson | Year Posted 2006

Details | Rhyme |

How To Avoid Overeating This Thanksgiving

The perfect way to avoid overeating this Thanksgiving is to put super glue on your lips.
If you're not able to eat your Thanksgiving dinner, it can't go straight to your hips.
That's the perfect way to avoid overeating this Thanksgiving.
But if you can't get your lips unstuck, one week later you'll no longer be living.

Copyright © randy johnson | Year Posted 2014

Details | Light Poetry |

The Bird is the Word

I don’t know what I’m complaining about, it’s not like I’ve been cuffed, All I have to do is show up for dinner. After all it’s the bird that got stuffed. It’s not like they’re asking a lot from me they won’t work me till I’ve croaked, All I have to do is show up and eat. After all it’s the bird that got smoked. I can’t tell you that they’ll torture me and it seems to be reasonably priced, All I have to do is visit for a while. After all it’s the bird that got sliced. I could tell them things to make them laugh until their gravy becomes splattered, All I’d have to do is tell a joke to them. After all it’s the bird that got plattered. I think that it smells good enough that I’ll eat until they claim my leg’s been hollowed, All I have to do is not complain about things. After all it’s the bird that got swallowed. I’ve never given it much thought before but a bird’s life is really kind of murky I guess I’d rather be the Thanksgiving guest today than be the Thanksgiving Turkey.

Copyright © Tony Lane | Year Posted 2011

Details | Rhyme |

Thanksgiving Cards

Should it happen that someday they're seeking struggling bards,
To compose witty verse for Hallmark Thanksgiving cards,
I think that I should like to summarily submit,
The following mots for consideration, TO WIT:

(1) Savor the oyster dressing, giblet gravy and thigh,
The sweet pertaters, green bean casserole and punkin pie.
Hope you have a goodly supply of sodium bicarbonate,
To counter the wrenching effects of all that grub you ate!

(2) To Grandma's house, hordes of kith and kin will repair,
For a delectable repast (after Grandpa ends his interminable prayer!)
May naught but love and fellowship dwell amongst you there,
As His bountiful harvest each of you gratefully share!

(3) The Thanksgiving meal is over, men folk watch ball teams battle,
While the women folk sit about the table engaged in idle prattle.
Mom's thoughts are elsewhere on how to deal with left over turkey;
She's a genius at creating soups and potpies, even turkey jerky!

(4) A Happy Thanksgiving to one and all.
Relish this time together and have a ball!
And may all with thankful hearts ever lift,
Praise to Him, the Giver of every good gift!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme |

At the End of the Day

There's nothing like it after a hard day's work
To ge stuck in traffic behind some jerk
He smiles in his mirror like he's having fun
So I show him my finger because he's number one

Now rush hour moves at such a horrible pace
By the time I get home there's a beard on my face
If this isn't enough to make you hot
I arrive at home and can't find a parking spot

So I park up the street and pick up a nail
If swearing was a crime, I'd be in jail
Then I walk down the street which was freshly tarred
Our neighbor's dog did his duty in our back yard

I finish my dinner and sit down for the night
To watch TV and listen to the kids fight
I look at the ceiling and softly say
A prayer of thanksgiving at the end of the day.

Copyright © Vince Suzadail Jr. | Year Posted 2007

Details | Limerick |

A Thankful Turkey

Written by Gail DeBole

When a turkey, who yearly escapes
From his owner's Thanksgiving plate,
Was asked to reveal
Why he's never a meal
He said, "That much of a turkey I ain't!"

Note: Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of each November in the United States.  President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed this as an official holiday in 1863.

Copyright © Gail DeBole | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme |

Thanksgiving Leftovers

'Twas the day after Thanksgiving and all of its ado and congestion.
I'd consumed too much turkey and pie and due to its ingestion,
Today, I'm suffering from a very acute case of indigestion!
I should've stifled my gluttonous bent - of that there is no question!

Of turkey meat and the trimmings I've had more than enough,
But my spouse has already planned next week's menu in the rough,
Saying, "You'll eat what I fix and I want none of your inane guff!
I know how to dispose of leftover turkey and all that other stuff!"

So, a hearty turkey stew and sweet taters are on the menu Monday.
A steaming bowl of turkey soup will grace our board on Tuesday.
Two turkey sandwiches with green bean casserole we'll have Wednesday.
Turkey salad and punkin pie will be placed before me for lunch Thursday.

A heap of mashed taters topped with turkey a la king for dinner Friday.
Turkey fricassee with cranberry sauce we'll eat for dinner Saturday.
Enough turkey was available for potpies that we'll dine on Sunday.
YeeHah! Ain't no more turkey - I'll have a cheeseburger come next Monday!

Lord, You know I'm mighty thankful for that which You graciously provide,
And please don't thing me an ungrateful oaf, but if in You I may confide,
May it please You come next Thanksgiving, 'twould be so very nice,
If You'd provide a simple meat loaf, mashed pertaters and wild rice!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2011

Details | Free verse |


by Patrick Cornwall on Friday, January 20, 2012 at 10:08am

He was the last of his kind and it was known.

Some dated him one hundred years and he had style.

Christmas was his time and the rest of the year he felt nothing.

But Thanksgiving came and some cared and tried to help.

They came in their vans with  Almighty Church of Thanksgiving and Christmas  painted on its sides.

But after the New Year he was alone again except for his friend the rat.

He slept in the subway, where it wasn't too bad.

His clothes were in tatters  and the rat brought him food.

His  blanket was newspapers which he  read and then slept underneath.

Sometimes the rat read to him while he snoozed.

The niners went casually around him and his newspapers but some listened to the rat reading.

The rat was nice and sometimes the Old Man would read to him too.

The rat loved the funnies and would roll over holding his stomach laughing.

The Old Man grabbed his Thunderbird and gave some to the rat.

The rat drank when in the mood and most times he was.

The rat wasn't supposed to drink because of his high blood pressure.

The old man loved the rat but he often disappeared and it made him sad.

He took a pull and wondered where the rat had gone and braced against the cold.

He saw the rat  sitting in the  booth where the tokens went and rat waved him through.

He was hungry and searching found a perfectly good hamburger in the pickup window.

People watched as he dug in the trash can and the train  lighting the tunnel.

He washed the burger down with the last of his Thurnderbird and decided to get on the train before it came.

Copyright © Patrick Cornwall | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme |

The First Thanksgiving

This is the story of the first Thanksgiving
The way things really took place
You remember, there were a bunch of turkeys
And Pilgrims from the human race

Now the story you've heard all your life
Is not exactly how things went down
See, the turkeys were on the Mayflower
And they wanted this land they found

Now the Indians and Pilgrims owned this land
And they put up a terrible fight
They fought with all that was in them
And it was such a horrible sight

Now the Indian chief wanted to powwow
But the turkey chief said no
Cause the Indians had "ruffled his feathers"
That's just a figure of speech, you know

Anyway, see, the Pilgrims and Indians 
Had put together a mighty force
They would invite those turkeys to dinner
You guessed it, they'd be the main course

Well, the turkeys accepted their invitation
And the peace was finally progressing
Until they got closer to the camp site
And started smelling the dressing

Now, the turkeys were mighty suspicious
Of this truce that they had struck
See, for the Pilgrims had told them
That the main course was duck

Now, the Indians started feeling guilty
About the way they did those birds
So they killed off all the Pilgrims
And gave them half of their buffalo herds

The Indians and turkeys were friends at last
And they decided to share the terrain
Til, out of nowhere, came a man named Butterball
Who owned a supermarket chain

Copyright © Larry Belt | Year Posted 2010

Details | Limerick |

Thanksgiving in the mirror

With "plenty" this culture's endowed 
Bad outcomes are never allowed!
But nature's stealthy
And notes for the wealthy
Silver linings come with a cloud

Copyright © Duke Beaufort | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme |

'Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving
And all through the forest
All the turkeys were gathered
From the richest to poorest

For a meeting was called
To plan their revenge
For all of their loved ones
Who were ever cooked or singed

Now this turkey rebellion
Was long overdue
How would they get even?
And what would they do?

I was there that night
When their meeting adjourned
Keep reading this poem 
To see what I learned

This meeting went on
For what seemed like an hour
'Til a gobbler stepped forth
In their circle of power

Now all the turkeys agreed
To this gobbler's idea
They'd all eat some exlax
And give them diarrhea

No matter how they cooked it
Bake it or boil it
The humans would spend
All day on the toilet

So, remember this Thanksgiving
As you try to relax
Have plenty of TP
For those sudden attacks

Copyright © Larry Belt | Year Posted 2010

Details | Limerick |

A Not So Good Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a day to be grateful,
Not a day to be grumpy or hateful.
But a burnt pumpkin pie,
And a turkey that's dry,
Might make it hard to be elateful.*

*(I realize elateful is not a word, but I claim poetic

Copyright © Kim Merryman | Year Posted 2012

Details | Free verse |

Pizza Again

Pizza again 
The turkey was placed on the table.
Pies in the oven baking. 
The football game on tv.
Grandma yells"dinner on"
Went all of a sudden the turkey is gone. Can't be found nowhere.
The back door was open, but no one was there.
When grandpa yells pizza again!
There was no Thanksgiving dinner this night.
For the dogs on the corner had a joy. 
While we sat and gave blessing for the pizza boy 
It's pizza thanksgiving not turkey this year.

Copyright © Harold Hunt sr | Year Posted 2014

Details | Couplet |

Be Of Good Cheer This Thanksgiving Day

May tranquility reign and grace your Thanksgiving board this year,
As you thank the Good Lord for all the blessings you hold dear!

I pray that it will be a time of good cheer and not a free-for-all,
As in the dysfunctional family described below, ending in a brawl!

Grandpa said grace that rambled on interminably while stomachs growl.
Grandma had heard enough of that and poked him with a warning scowl!

Pompous Uncle Blimp boasted about the democrats winning the election,
While saner heads steered the conversation in a more innocuous direction!

Ne'er-do-well Cousin Cletus who was recently released from prison,
Wailed about being falsely imprisoned saying the cannabis wasn't his'n!

Aunt Louise complained that she didn't get the turkey gizzard as was her due!
Dad was happily sozzled having consumed too much of his homemade brew!

Little Marvin slopped gravy on grandma's prized heirloom tablecloth!
Nana screeched about controlling your brats - she was most visibly wroth!

The kid howled and mommy hugged him saying, "It was not your fault!"
In the aftermath, little was said except an occasional, "Pass the salt!"

Elbows flew and the hapless turkey's carcass was stripped clean and bare!
Grandpa removed his teeth to take a snooze, fed up with the whole affair!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2012

Details | Personification |

Said the door

Said the door!

The door SAID,
"I am tired.
Every day I get slammed in.
What am I just a piece of wood or metal?
Have I no feelings?
God forbids one of you gets angry,
you'll slam me so hard I fall off my hinges!
Then comes the thieves,
they kick me in!
What a set of rascals!
Most of all I hate those police squads,
they come with these big ugly pile driving things
that send me to smithereens.
Now the only people I will give permission to knock me in are fire fighters.
Them guys are always trying to help someone.
Why can you all be like them,
Help someone.
Matters not it's a bum, 
someone next door who need a ride to the grocery store,
whatever it is, 
don't think twice just do it."
© A. Juman The "said" poet       11/8/2015
Type In (A. JUman) For A relaxing and astonishing moment with all my POEMS

Copyright © A. Juman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme |

Vegetarian Thanksgiving

Tofu shaped like a bird
something else made of bean curd
Glub of globs passing for grub
with the texture of slime left from a slug

Vegetarian Thanksgiving
you got to be kidding
If the pilgrims had this to eat
they would have gone back to Europe in defeat
It's just not Thanksgiving without meat
Thanksgiving dinner won't be complete
Turkey, ham or even a goose
if it's leafy and green that's abuse
Prime rib, duck or even fish
if you want to be thankful eat a meat dish
This is a time for caring
a time for sharing
a time to be thankful and atone
by sinking your teeth into roasted flesh ripping it from the bone.

Vegetarian Thanksgiving
not while I'm living
Feed me that golden brown turkey
with twelve cornish hens
And a bucket of KFC chicken
surrounded by a platter of sliced glazed ham
Now I'm thankful, I'm thankful
Oh Lord lets dig in.

Copyright © Fritz Purdum | Year Posted 2015

Details | Light Poetry |


I love to watch the bulging balloons go floating by on Thanksgiving Day, Filled with gas and bloated it’s hard to guess how much they must weigh. It’s a tradition at our house to watch them parade as they go bounding by, Look at that one wobble as he makes his way for a piece of pumpkin pie. But all too soon the consumption parade comes to a crashing end, As to the couches to watch the game the balloons will sleepily descend. And into the clear blue November sky each of them dreamily soars, The heights to which they rise are measured by the timber of their snores. And when they awake an invisible rope guides them as if by fate, To the microwave to heat up a second helping before it gets too late. This time of year the only way they know that it’s time to stop, Is when they hear an unnerving sound as one of them goes pop.

Copyright © Tony Lane | Year Posted 2011

Details | Couplet |


The day after Thanksgiving I didn't have to work
So, I decided to do something which was kind of a quirk.

I thought I would do some early shopping
For those Christmas gifts that would be eye popping.

As I started my car to begin my store raid
Something went amiss to stop my escapade.

I opened the hood to find the problem there
When I saw it, it really gave me a scare.

Our neighbor's black cat had crawled onto the engine block
Feeling the warmth, but not taking stock.

When I turned the key to give it a start
The cat shrieked as its tail was nearly cut apart.

Oh, it wasn't intentional that I hurt that poor pet
But you've never seen anything like it I'll bet.

When I heard the noise and the hissing you see,
I thought one of the hoses had broken...leaking fluently.

But it was the cat that was hissing when I raised the hood
All he could think of was to jump for where I stood.

With claws all out and teeth set to bite
Him coming at me was quite the site.

Fortunately he missed me with his outstretched paws,
Or I would have been really attached to those razor like claws.

When he hit the ground he ran away
Scared the crap out of me...that's all I'll say.

So I had to collect myself before I could go anywhere
Went back to the house and just stood shaking there.

Of course, I had to have a pop or two
To settle my nerves before I started anew.

Before I knew it, I was asleep in a chair
I never attempted to go anywhere.

All because a black cat wanted to keep warm
In the end, I was thankful I did so little harm.

"Black Friday" would have cost me a heck of a lot more
Had it not been for that cat's dozing for sure.

So, now whenever I go to the store
I buy some cat food, for that kitty next door.

He still remembers my opening that hood
I still remember him trying to claw me where I stood.

But we've come to an understanding that cat and me
And I tap the car before starting it to let him see.

As it is now...he stays out of my way,
Except when I feed him, for all the money he saved me on "Black Friday".

Copyright © Daniel Cwiak | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme |

Fowl Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving?  Oh no!  Not again!
I meet each one with chagrin

Such rejoicing, good fun
For everyone

Well, ‘cept me … I’m the Turkey, you see.

Copyright © Jack Clark | Year Posted 2014

Details | Light Poetry |

A Childs Thanksgiving Prayer

Dear Lord, we gather this day to give thanks for what we’ve got, For the blessings that you’ve granted us whether realized or not. For the blessings of family love and our feelings for each other, Even though I will confess to you that I can’t stand my little brother. He never does his fair share when there’s work around here to do, I’ll get back to that situation later and fill the details in for you. I love you Lord for all the gifts; excuse me if I should gush, I’m only asking for a bicycle today to avoid the Christmas rush. I’d like to add a special thanks for giving me a second chance, For softening up my teacher’s heart, I’m thanking you in advance. And dear Lord if you don’t mind as long as I have you on the line, I’m sure that you’ll forgive me Lord because I know that you’re divine. I’d like to ask for one thing more before I let you of the hook, Next year before Thanksgiving comes, could you teach my mom to cook? Because her gravy is too lumpy and the turkey is way too dry, And the only dessert that we have today is store bought pumpkin pie. It would be nice if later we didn’t have to hear my grandpa snore, And keep grandma from drinking wine until she can’t get up from the floor. And watch over my big sis when she’s out with her boyfriend, Dad is sure that they’re doing it so why should we pretend? I guess that’s all I have right now so Lord please be on your way, And when you’re at the neighbor’s house don’t believe a word they say. In case you don’t hear from me again if I should disappear without a trace, I want to say just what a privilege it was to offer up Thanksgiving Grace.

Copyright © Tony Lane | Year Posted 2011

Details | Rhyme |

Thanksgiving Eve

Thanksgiving Eve

Hate the holidays well I got one for you.
Dont have to follow no rules.
Just drink till ya drop.
To what's the ocassion still ya
havent a clue.

Hey there missy.
dont piss and moan just grab a pint
ya big sissy.

No need for a kleenex  just wipe that blood off 
on your sleeve.
Stoner slacker and poets unite for
it's Thanksgiving Eve.

No need to hang anything by the
chimney with care.
But it is a party so lets see your underwear.

Lets beat the holiday blues.
Hey who's drunk and horney?
Short skirts and thoose high heel shoes.

Crank that jukebox hey grandpa theres
no need to leave.
Cause everyone is included on Thanksgiving eve.

Hey amigo if we play are cards right.
we can stir enough stuff to see a chick fight.

Hey whats going on upstairs God only knows.
It's not  cheating just wrestling without any 

Hey who just cut a whole in the floor?
hey grandpa ya better watch that exotic woman
your dancing with.
Cause she's a woman with a little more.

Hey ya'll the cops are coming along with a swat
team so it's my cue to leave.
but like that fat prick in a red suit I'll
return to bring ya another great Thanksgiving Eve.

Copyright © John Patrick Robbins AKA Gonzo | Year Posted 2009

Details | Rhyme |

Turkey Talk

I try to make myself very scarce midst the teeming flock,
To reduce the risk of finding my neck on the chopping block!
Why do you put me through this annual frightful scare?
I pray that I won't become your Thanksgiving fare!

May I propose for your very careful consideration,
An assortment of options for your holiday celebration.
Have you considered a delicious rack of lamb,
Or a scrumptious glazed and juicy spiral ham!

You could save my friends and me so much grief,
If only you'd serve a luscious roast of beef!
As you thank the good Lord for your many blessings,
Wouldn't you prefer a goose stuffed with dressings!

An adjunct to your cranberry sauce and pecan pie,
Could be a savory duck - why not give that a try?
Another suggestion that would please your friends,
Would be to prepare a platter of Rock Cornish hens!

There are many creatures that swim, run or fly,
That could complement your taters and punkin pie!
Better yet, why not concoct a vegetarian meal,
Then, I could forego my urgent annual appeal!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 2 in PD'S "Gobble, Gobble, Gobble" Contest - November 2011

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2011

Details | Rhyme |

The First Thanksgiving

'Tis said that the first Thanksgiving feast was celebrated in sixteen twenty-one.
'Twas the Pilgrims' first bountiful harvest so they decided to have some fun!
(That was the genesis of church potlucks that are popular to this very day,
And the origin of that American addiction, the all-you-can-stuff-ten-buck buffet!)

They invited Indian friends but with wary eye kept their blunderbusses handy,
In case the guests and their squaws might become sozzled with too much brandy!
The Injuns brought canoes full of maize, deer and fishes from Cape Cod Bay.
(Puritan ladies shyly tittered at the breechcloths worn by braves on that day!)

The Pilgrims had diligently tilled God's good earth to grow vittles for the feast,
And prowled forest and waterway on the hunt for fowl and four-footed beast!
Tables groaned with grub - the menu would've done the Waldorf-Astoria proud.
There was little talk 'cept for an occasional "pass the salt" from that ravenous crowd!

There were apple, peach and punkin pies and heaps of smoked and roasted turkey.
Also, fiery brandy, cider, barbequed beef, lima beans and piles of venison jerky!
Succotash, sweet pertaters, peas and turnips were heaped on pewter plates.
Gluttonous souls were heard to groan and appeared to be in desperate straits!

Missing was the dreaded green bean casserole that hadn't been concocted yet,
Since Campbell's mushroom soup, an essential ingredient, they could not get!
'Twas on that notable day that the strutting and hapless turkey made its debut!
(Oft I've mused - did the Palefaces and the Redskins play a football game too?)

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2011

Details | Rhyme |

Thanksgiving Without Turkey


I sat at the table, eager to eat
To have my fill, right at my seat
My father carved the Turkey
A wonderful sight
My mother asked me “dark meat or white”?
But just before my plate came near
My little dog Edgar pulled up from the rear
He jumped on the table in a single bound
Landing in the middle with nary a sound
He landed on my Turkey 
One and all could see
And right there Edgar decided to pee
I shook in horror, I quaked in fright
But in the end, I knew Edgar was right
He’s just a dog, and did what dogs do
I could not be angry, but I told him to shoo
So mother cleaned the table, and discarded the Turkey
And in it's place we had beef jerky!

Copyright © Jasmine Cruz | Year Posted 2014

Details | Narrative |


   Family gathers for Thanksgiving dinner

  As you step into grandma's home
You smell the savory aromas

   Turkey is stuffed and cooking in the oven
Glazed ham garnished with pineapple and cherries
We’re getting very anxious for homemade buns to rise

   Table is decked with grandma’s fine china
Table settings and white lace linen
Fresh Thanksgiving Autumn floral bouquet,
Candles flicker in-tall thin brass candleholders

   Salad, asparagus and cheese sauce,
Mashed potatoes and gravy,
Cranberry sauce,
Cinnamon sweet potatoes garnished with marshmallows
Ambrosia fruit salad, cherry and pumpkin pies
Apple crisp with caramel sauce a prize
Punch bowl filled to the brim 
With eggnog and hot cinnamon schnapps

   A second ham sits in the baking pan on the stove
Of balance over the burner knobs
Pa picks up the lid to take a peek

      Did a hip-hop back

   As it slides off the top of stove onto the floor
Bathing everyone around with sweet greasy glaze
For once I wish I had Rover and Max around to lap up the floor
As they were locked up in their dog cage so they wouldn’t be underfoot

   Slipping and sliding and grabbing on to the counters I whispered
Please dogs come and save us from this wet dirty job

   We dropped plenty of towels and got a mop and a bucket of suds
To sup- up the entire sweet greasy glaze
 Finally the crazy mayhem was over
Turned to face the table and held our composure

Bless us, Oh Lord, and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ, Our Lord. Amen.
Moaning and groaning too stuffed to move Rubbing their bellies that are just ready to bust Still enough food left over for everyone to take home 11/24/2016

Copyright © Eve Roper | Year Posted 2016

Details | Acrostic |

Thanksgiving Day

Turkey day is finally here, along with that mid-afternoon paralysis
Half the family made it this year, and thank God, 'cause we're short chairs!
Apple, pumpkin, and mince-meat pies fill the air with cinnamon dust-devils
Nevermind the barking dogs and screaming, running and tattling kids,
Kooky and drunk, your favorite uncle swears you can light a fart!
Surely we've got BIGGER fish to fry's them 'taters doin'?
Goodness knows how amazing Granny's poultry gravy is gonna be
I just hope some jerk doesn't bring that Jello with raisins, carrots, and lettuce......YUCK!!!!
Vodka is easily hidden in the various holiday beverages,
I swear it's the ONLY way I can tolerate half of my family!
No one's really that bad, but a little goes a long way!
God bless every single, dysfunctional, and oblivious one of us!

Dinner comes and goes........the herd migrates to the TV for pig-skin dramas
All say their goodbyes and don coats and scarves
YIPPE!!! They're all gone!!!......oh crap!!!! WHO'S gonna help with the dishes????

jim david

Copyright © Jim David | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme |

Squawk vs Gobble

A man had a parrot that talked so bad
A worst vocabulary no one had

The man attempted to make correction
The parrot threw epithets in every direction

Finally exasperated in a fit of rage
The man pulled the parrot out of his cage

Threw him in the freezer to cool him off
All the while, the parrot just squawked

Then suddenly it got deathly quiet
The man felt things weren't exactly right

He opened the freezer and to his surprise
The parrot began to apologize

For being so vulgar and so obscene
He promised from now on to be serene

He said to the man, I have a question for you
What did that turkey in the freezer do?

Curtis Moorman
23 November 2011

For the Gobble, Gobble contest

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all you Soupers

Copyright © Curtis Moorman | Year Posted 2011

Details | Limerick |

Which Turkey to Take - A Thanksgiving Limerick

The man had a tough choice to make
Which of the birds should he take?
Both turkeys looked good
But he thought that he should
Take the jenny instead of the jake.

Copyright © Randy Imwalle | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme |


Who brought the Spam to the first Thanksgiving? The Pilgrims brought the Spam I think The Indian’s brought something to drink Though history books do not repeat it There's more to do with corn then eat it A spurkey is a wondrous sight All pink and juicy if cooked right Shaping it's a little quirky But you can make it look like turkey So what's your pleasure, breast or thigh? Or other part you'd like to try? No light or dark meat, it's a shame All the parts taste just the same The best part is, there is no waste And also, you don't have to baste But unlike birds raised in a coop There are no bones for sprukey soup Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

Copyright © Bob Quigley | Year Posted 2011

Details | Acrostic |

Thanksgiving Day

Tummy, Tummy, oh poor Tummy!
Heaping, steaming platters behold.
A bounty splendorous and yummy,
Nuts to pies to cranberry mold.
Kitchen simmering with flavor,
Smells that cause the nose to rise.
Gather in a whiff to savor,
Indulge behind two droopy eyes.
Voices lure you from your dreaming,
Invite you to your favored chair,
Give you silverware all gleaming,

Do together a Thanksgiving prayer.
And, Tummy, Tummy stop your stressing … 
Yams, green beans, creamed corn, rolls with butter, celery sticks and carrot sticks,
mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, turkey and … dressing

Copyright © Michael Fahrenbacher | Year Posted 2010