Young Lochinvar - a Parody of the Classic By the Same Title

O young Lochinvar is come out of the west, Through all the wide Country this guy they detest, And save armpit noises he talent had none, He thought they were funny and thought they were fun. He thought that his 'talent' would make him a star, But no one did care for the young Lochinvar. He left San Francisco and charged straight ahead, To Lower Manhattan is where he was lead, But ere he was granted his first interview, Producers were tipped-off and everyone knew, His act was so silly and really bizarre, They wouldn't audition the young Lochinvar. Yet boldly he walked into Carnegie Hall, And tried to astound them and tried to enthrall, He made armpit noises and tried to impress, (The day was quite sunny, but here I digress), They dropped him in feathers and rolled him in tar, 'Twas nearly the end of the young Lochinvar. "I won't be discouraged", he told them that day, And then made his mark as he waddled away, With sticky black footprints of feathers and tar, He walked to the corner and bought a guitar, Thinking, "I will be wonderful, I will go far", But life would get worse for the young Lochinvar. He took a few lessons, the Chet Atkins way, With that and his armpit he started to play, The audience booed him and tossed him outside, He fell on his ass and it injured his pride, And Lochinvar whispered, "Twere better by far, Had I stayed with the armpit and scrapped the guitar." He went to a bar and he drank a few beer, He thought it would help him and give him some cheer, But all it did give him was heartburn and pain, And from that day onward, was never the same, He'd never be famous and never a star, 'Twas the end of the line for the young Lochinvar. He moved back to 'Frisco and rented a room, Was the height of the Hippies, with flowers in bloom, At Ashbury Avenue, corner of Haight, They thought he was wonderful, thought he was great, Now people throw dollar bills into a jar, It's life in the '60's for young Lochinvar.