What Remains Within - Reverse Rejection and Recycle Reassurance Again

They weren’t thinking things all the way through as I weren’t able They took me for granite and used me in the wrong way possible I need some reassurance tonight to get through this plight with might I need some graceful guidance to seek deliverance for my sake alright I wore the black shirt at night instead of white The cars on the road could hit me and that’s a tragic bite In other words, I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, so please…oh, please… Pack up your things and leave if you have a problem with truth that sting like bees Direct my feet on the right path If I do wrong, I will face His wrath Sorry, I am not a perfect man as you can see You understand, but them, apparently, not fully Life is pretty rough when you aren’t tough enough I’m like a criminal that broke off his right hand cuff Wishing I could write my whole life away just for a day…seems okay… But, being too busy with so many thoughts while people are having their way I recycle my everyday pain and maddening misery And make it into something quite extraordinary Can you make my day as dazzling and delightful as yours? Can you vanish away my dismay and instead, give me opportunity doors? Because once I decide to bravely open and seriously release them, I won’t close them…I’d cherish them…like a gigantic, glamorous gem I’d prize them as my own muses and family as a whole I won’t despise them, despite the anguish that scorches me like coal I am in pain, but even in pain, I will make things even more beautiful I wore the black shirt instead of the white shirt last night, Hoping you’ll still see me, crossing the road…risky, but feels right I know that I may act naïve and emotionally selfish… But, what I feel inside is all but repulsive rubbish I am not completely content with my content of poetry hardly ever…it's whatever I probably write too much or too little, but it never bothered anyone whatsoever Yeah, I’m aware that I wore the black shirt instead of the white one to get your attention my direction I just needed some sort of affection…but, in return, I got back-stabbing, throat-slashing rejection The doctor told me directly to get more Vitamin D…sun, be mine! Well, surely, Doctor, I got plenty of Arizona sunny D…I’ll be fine… Wearing black shirts here is extremely hot, but I can care less As long as you can see me and hit the brakes before a road mess I’ve done plenty of pleasing people who are practically a pain in the elbow I’m rolling the dice and being the living sacrifice for reasons that I will only know It’s not always easy rewarding myself when I have done more harm than good All I want to do is keep you warm in my lonesome arms and be simply understood They weren’t…exactly…thinking things through when they pushed me away They shoved me to the ground and left me in pieces in the sand of disarray They thought me a coward when I ran away from the scene that I caused beforehand Well…that scene seemed to be unavoidable and fight-proof – I’m not afraid to say it Forget that now, I was stupid to not make a stand and you clearly didn’t understand… I can tell that your face beamed when my satisfaction went aloof…that’s something you can’t admit I wore the black shirt because I thought you would notice me beyond the crowd of commotion I didn’t wear the white shirt because I wasn’t using my common sense and made a fool out of me I was on a major mania and I was acting out insane…tricked by slightly tainted, tempting notion I wanted to stick out like a weed in your garden so you can pull me out and recognize me momentarily Until, much like a weed, you threw me out into the heap of a hundred piles…unhappiness in motion I wanted to be one of a kind in your eyes that I looked up to for recognition and praise You thought me brainless and blind and too innocent to empathize your wicked ways… But I have empathy towards your echoes of humiliation due to your rebellion long ago It couldn’t have been sympathy, hanging on a thin, long rope of hopeless woes that show… You are the sun that has shown me the light that was so bright You are the one who handed me a decent, white shirt I was wearing a dark, worn-out shirt in the middle of the night Until you noticed that I was profoundly, honestly hurt I was dirty from digging deep in the pit of filthy sins I was committing all sorts of crimes and abominations Until I met the sunset that reversed to a sunrise before my eyes I never thought there was paradise behind the corridor of lies If I can break through the walls of utter wretchedness That turns you round and round in turmoil and sadness, I would feel selfless success that would gladly bring us both gladness I won’t be in this loose skin of a helpless, hope-moping human I will be pursuing progress productively like a motivated man I would deal with the demons of the past no more and I will live to express, Not to impress the Devil, wearing the black shirt…the one I wore in sick comfort But, I would acknowledge the Angel with the white shirt like I would of an expert They deserted me like no other like a motherless child in the streets of fears and tears It was as if I was an orphan that was wandering around in the wilderness of yesteryears The abandonment and the bitter sting thereof still burns like a wound beneath my skin All I need is your reassuring guidance to get through troublesome twists and turns…within