We'Ll Call You

Beauregard Buchanan owned at least a dozen mansions, and chauffeured ‘round in exotic cars had never learned to drive, So consequently...we who fought like hell to make ends meet...viewed him as, without a doubt - the richest man alive! Rumor had it Beauregard owned more than thirty cars, yet none in which he’d ever actually sat behind the wheel! A different car for each and every day throughout each month magnified the jealousy for how he made folks feel. Green with envy, countless people felt a strong resentment, and bothered by his being NOT a philanthropic man, Not at all surprisingly my buddies, Ace and Mitch, came to me one evening with a truly desperate plan: “Me an’ Mitch been talkin’,” Avery - ‘Ace’ - McCoy began, “an’ we believe that Beauregard Buchanan’s way too rich, So he and I been casin’ out his pad for ‘bout a week - and if you’re game, we’re both convinced that you an’ me an’ Mitch “Need to --- trim his inventory! Turns out he’s now livin’ just beyond the graveyard in a forty-bedroom spread, An’ me an’ Mitch have figured out that, every single night, Beauregard - ‘round 10:15 - ‘ll head on up to bed, “Along with all his hired help...an’ he ain’t got no dogs, so looks to us like ‘easy pickin’s’ - if we do things right - And once we’ve sold the stuff we steal we’ll all be sittin’ good. We feel our plan is foolproof...and we’re thinkin’ Friday night! “We’ll all be usin’ flashlights, and we’ll all be wearin’ masks, so, even if there’s someone up, they won’t know who we are. All we need’s a set o’ wheels to pull this caper off...and you’re the only guy we really trust that has a car! “Wha-da-ya say, good buddy...he’s got toilets made of gold...and all we wanna do is snatch a bunch o’ stuff to sell. Little fancy odds and ends...but only just enough so he - for maybe two, three days -won’t be able to tell! “Small - but classy - knickknack that’s not too hard to move...things you see in upscale shops that sell for major dough. Chances are that - by the time we’ve sold off all we get - most of whom we sell it to will likely never know “That what they’ve bought are - stolen goods! We’ll camouflage your car...and if he’s got the place alarmed, Mitch says he knows how To turn it off. And like I mentioned...he ain’t got no dog...so, ain’t no doubt about it, Mark…the time to act is - NOW!” Obviously...I took the bait and joined with Ace and Mitch to help ourselves to what we thought Buchanan wouldn’t miss ‘Cause as I’m pretty sure the whole town knows - I’m on parole - and after seven years in prison, I can tell you this -- If your friends confront you with a plan to - ‘break the law’, ain’t too much that’s scarcer than a truly - ‘perfect crime’! All we got were - stints in jail - and I can guarantee - parole ain’t all that diff’rent for a guy who’s done some time! I’ve been takin’ shots at common jobs most every day ever since they let me out, and every time I do, Once they read my application all I ever hear is...“Don’t call us to check on our decision…...we’ll call you!” My books and Audio-CDs are available @ writerofbooks.com