Unwelcome Emotions

There is nothing more frustrating Than knowing how you should feel But yet a flow of the total opposite Of emotions seem more real… You know what is required: Put in your all, rely on Allah… Do your best toward success… Then smile and put your mind to rest. Theoretically, hopefully Ideally so Sounds easy, no? But for some reason your heart starts whispering “uh oh”… You think, “I know better, I won’t let this be”– Still, unwelcome emotions Creates a new reality… So instead you get agitated And stressed out and uptight As if stuck in a dark cave, With no light in sight. You know you should feel assured Assured, grateful and blessed But you’ll feel angry at the world And angrier at yourself for failing the test… And you know you’re failing it For the test is to be patient But since impatience is where you’re at Obviously your level of progress remains flat… So you feel guilty for feeling ingrateful Then deny those feelings all the same You’d prefer to complain about your situation Than changing the rules of the game. How many times will you hear, “Have faith, this is just a test! So long as you hold tight to that rope The outcomes will surely be the best!” And so, you tried to be patient, And you tried (and tried and tried) to be strong But for all your efforts, it’s only when it’s over You realize that God was there all along. And shame overwhelms you For how could you forget? Your heart knew it somehow But your actions showed neglect. You knew there was a Being Much stronger than you You knew there was a Being Much wiser than you. A Being who drew a map Of your life before you existed Who solved all your problems Before you even resisted. And now that it’s over It’s like you see the light You were in the wrong direction Yet now the negativity has taken off in flight. You now smile and laugh in pleasure Proud in how you handled it so well Only until you fall into another pit hole And the negativity is back to dwell. When will we learn to change our mindsets To realize each day and hour is simply another test? And that the easier path is not always the right one? Convictions shouldn’t change when the easy times are gone. May God keep us steadfast In actions and deeds And in emotions that are healthy For our hearts to feed… Because man, let me tell you And I’m sure you know it, too: There is nothing more frustrating Than knowing what you should feel But yet a flow of the total opposite Of emotions seem more real.