Uncle Lester - Both Audio and Text

Devlan Caldwell Bachenmeister owned the largest factory that Pinkerton, New Hampshire ever had. Almost everyone in town was working at that plant, but not, of course, my cousin Maynard’s dad. Uncle Lester simply wouldn’t work for DCB, and always claimed the reason he refused Taking any job at all at Bachenmeister’s fac’try was due to how he felt the man abused Every last employee by denying basic benefits - like claiming that he simply couldn’t afford Paying for vacation time and sick leave when, in fact…he actually had more money than the Lord! “Mark my word…that phone is gonna ring one day,” he’d swear, “and on the other end there’s going to be Someone here in Pinkerton that knows I’m unemployed, and feels they’ve found the perfect job for me! “DCB Incorporated porks their own employees by paying them a wage that isn’t fair,” He was always saying, “so I made the tough decision to take a job at any place but there! “I’m just glad your mother, bless her heart, does not expect me to break my back for what that tyrant pays. Luckily, her night job’s paying well…in fact, at night…she’s making twice the wage she’s earning days!” Maynard was eleven when his father lost his job - a temporary one - detasseling corn… He hasn’t worked an hour since, an’ - first o’ May this year - Maynard’s second son, Laverl, was born! That old turd’s the reigning king of pile-o’-crap excuses…and everyone who knows him’s heard them all. He never checks the want ads, and, whenever someone phones…his answering service intercepts the call! Each of us has given him at least a hundred leads - and all were ones for which he’s qualified - So when I last confronted him - concerning one from me…simply to confirm he hadn’t lied… What he didn’t know was that I’d had my buddy, Robert, call him up and offer him a job, Promising a super wage - full benefits - great hours…then…after they had talked…I checked with Bob. “Bob,” I asked, “did Lester say he’d ‘give the job some thought’….or call you to request an interview?” “Haven’t heard a word,” he said, “but after what you told me…I, of course…did not expect him to! “However, for the record, Ron…when I explained the nature of what he would be doing - slicing bread… Lester claimed he’d found a job in Denver Colorado…‘breaking bulls’! I swear…that’s what he said.” “Damn it, Bob…if anything’s the lowest trick he’s pulled…I’d say, without exception…this is it! I’m telling Aunt Viola, and I know when she finds out, she’ll prob’ly kill that lyin’ sack o’………poop!”