Top Secret From the Poetrysoup Undercover Agent: Re, Aliens

Keep this under your hat, guys....I'm just back from an undercover investigation of what turned out to be a real hidden nest of Alien invaders....they foolishly made serious strategic mistakes, which, of course, your favorite spy here, caught on to immediately. Quick recap.....remember, this is on the Q.T.! I penetrated an alien cell in the Vassar Brothers Medical Center in upstate New York. I'll explain how.....shhhhhh!!!!!.....I was admitted under the pretext of 1)being dead 2)mentally unbalanced! Imagine that!! First thing I noticed is some of the alien technology thay failed to mask adequately....they were all walking around talking with their shirt pockets...which somehow seemed to answer...now, that's just a plum give-away!!!! Next, I noticed a plastic container hanging on the wall, marked, foolishly, I'd think...."Impervious Gowns"....yeah, right, like such a thing exists! Come on, where'd ya get it, from Superman? There were smaller clues too; like what earthling would have a bright red food blender/mixer hanging on the wall? Come on. Martians, you can do better than that!!!! But the clincher, the absolute proof, was when I finally peeked out the door....the whole buiding was totally round!!! I was actually IN a flying saucer!!!! Pretty cool, huh? And the stuff they labeled as food was, certainly not of this earth....they even had something they euphemistically labelled a "Cheeseburger"? It was obviously an alien child's plastic toy, or perhaps, a concealable weapon....it obviously would be fatal is one were struck with such a thing..... and I'll report on my O.H.S.A. investigation as well, next week. And I escaped, undetected!!! Pretty classy, right? Okay- enough for now.....remember.....this is not to be discussed, officially, it did NOT happen, and my alias, (agent) Benjamin (call me Ben) Dover....report is now concluded....regards, Ben Dover!