Tilt-O-Whirl Dreams

Tonight it starts again. The longing for something I can’t have. A life that is meaningful. I claw and scrape the surface of humanity. A bubble that wont’ be burst. I am on the outside looking in. Tilt-o-whirl dreams spin out of control until I am dizzy. I need to get my bearings, put away my dreams of other summers Filter the shadows of my life Are their lives as messed up as mine? Is there perfect harmony? Can it be reached in a Buddhist Temple on a steppe in Tibet? Would a mantra, robe, and sandals free me? Or would I long for a cheeseburger, maybe a bag of fries…”could you super size that please?” These are the burning questions that keep me awake at night. There’s a brindle dog that sleeps under my house at night. As long as I don’t let him in he doesn’t know what he is missing. Toss him a bone and he’s ecstatic. Me I am full of blue trombone solos that no one wants to hear. Jeez you would think every now and then someone would want to know why the shadows on my face never change, but no one dares to ask. They would get an answer they’re not prepared for, An answer full of blue ruin and rag water.