That Damn Dog

(I got the idea for this poem from National Lampoon's Vacation.) When I went on a picnic, I wondered why the sandwiches were wet. I ate two of them and it was something that I'd soon regret. It was revolting and drastic. My dog wet on the picnic basket. I ate the sandwiches when my wife handed them to me. I wondered why they smelled and tasted like pee. When I learned that the sandwiches had been peed on, I threw up. I sold that damn dog that I'd had since he was a pup. When I puked my guts out, I was not pleased. I'll never again be able to eat bologna and cheese.