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Shame and Honor- a True Story

“You want me to give you my daughter’s hand in marriage…. without the blessing of your family on this union?” My father sternly eyed the love of my life. I was quaking inside… Why did this whole thing have to be so difficult? Why did WE have to be modern day Romeo and Julliet with the Capulets and the Montagues out to kill our love? Why? “You have MY blessing on this union. It should be enough. It is all I can offer. I am willing to be disowned by my family, if need be. They have threatened to throw me out. I am willing to pitch a tent on campus and live there if that becomes a reality. That is how much I love your daughter.“ My father was quiet for a moment. What a decision to make! In a community where shame and honor ruled supreme, he had to decide whether to subject his daughter, indeed, his whole family, to public disgrace by making it known that she was not wanted, or to bring her joy by granting to her the desire of her heart...this young man. My brother was not so giving. “How could you? Don’t you know the things she is saying behind your back? You are dragging our good name in the dirt.” I couldn't understand him. How could he not care about his best friend's love for me, his sister? Was honor that important? I would soon find out…the silence was unbearable. “Had I not known that you are a man of honor, a man of your word, and that you can stand up to your mother, I would not do what I am going to do now….which is to promise you my daughter’s hand in marriage.” My heart skipped a beat as I let out a sigh of relief. My man beamed at me. How proud I was of him. Our love would pay the price of shame, for there is nothing more honorable than to love and be loved, no matter the cost. For Kim Morrisen's Contest Tell me a True Story June 19, 2013

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 6/25/2013 5:14:00 PM
Congratulations on your win Eileen, don't forget to add it to your list of honours lol. Take care, Richard
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/28/2013 12:43:00 AM
No....ooops! Sorry, It was on this poem....we are in agreement that the struggle made us stronger and we proved our in-laws wrong! :)
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/28/2013 12:38:00 AM
Oh dear me, Richard. That was from some other post, the content of which escapes me now! OH Yes...the Warrior Princess...we are agreed that you are NO MATCH FOR ME! I could have your for breakfast and still need a snack mid morning! ;) Please...I do need to get this out of my system!
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Richard D Seal
Date: 6/25/2013 5:15:00 PM
Good we are in agreement, just not quite sure on what lol
Date: 6/25/2013 12:22:00 AM
Great story. Congrats on your win, Eileen. Elaine George
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/28/2013 12:40:00 AM
Elaine, your congrats are welcome, as is your visit! :)
Date: 6/22/2013 6:37:00 PM
Great heartwarming experience and worthy of your win.... I believe you will like reading "That's Good Enough For Me" - a poem I wrote to my son-in-law after he asked for my daughter's hand in marriage. Congrats on a great win.... Jake
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/28/2013 12:42:00 AM
Wow, John...Thanks for the post and for mentioning the poem...I'm on my way there now!
Date: 6/22/2013 4:48:00 PM
Often that which is difficult, but worth fighting for, is better in the end....it seems as if the struggle made you stronger. Well done!!
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/28/2013 12:42:00 AM
That does seem to be the way, doesn't it, Carrie! Thanks for the visit. You keep shining with your work! Hugs!
Date: 6/22/2013 4:31:00 PM
Congratulations on your win!! I really liked it!
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/28/2013 12:41:00 AM
Thanks, Heather...glad it spoke to your heart!
Date: 6/22/2013 7:52:00 AM
Congratulations on your no. 1 with this winning love story. Love, Joyce
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/22/2013 7:54:00 AM
Thanks, Joyce...sweet of you to visit.
Date: 6/21/2013 11:26:00 PM
A familiar story in these parts of the world..happy you are happy, a big congrats, hugs:) Jag
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/22/2013 1:33:00 AM
Thank you, Jag. So sweet of you to drop by and congratulate me! :)
Date: 6/21/2013 9:16:00 PM
Many of us from other cultures do not fully understand the honor you alluded to here and the accompanying shame that could follow when it is violated, but you unmasked it well in this piece. Impressive write! Kim
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/22/2013 1:32:00 AM
Kim, thank you for your kind post and for my place in your contest. I am honored that you looked kindly on my poem. Yes....it is a grave issue here. We are tied to cultural and social norms that are hard to break. I find it quite suffocating at times....Middle Easterners tend to think I'm Western, and Westerners think I still have much of the Middle East in me...My Armenian roots also play a part. So, I guess I'm a citizen of the world. Thanks once again.
Date: 6/19/2013 6:48:00 PM
Ooohhhhh...boo....hoooooing here....tissue please.....big hugs to this guy and kisses to you...
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/20/2013 12:14:00 AM
Thanks, Donna. I told him I'd written this yesterday! No marriage is perfect...Some of those objections actually did carry weight...difference in culture being a major one, but....everything can be overcome. We actually have good family relations now...though sometimes, old hurts do resurface and bring tears. Thanks for the love, MD.....I LOVE YA!
Date: 6/19/2013 4:41:00 PM
Yes same here, her family did not approve of me, can u believe that?lol. When I asked her dad for his daughters hand, which I only did because she insisted, all he answered was, "She's only after your money", lol and walked off, so I took that to be a yes lol. I know in part of the world this is taken much more seriously, family honour, I'm not so sure it's that. Take care, Richard
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/21/2013 1:27:00 AM
Well, Richard...hallelujah! We are in agreement. Glad you proved them wrong! :)
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Richard D Seal
Date: 6/20/2013 5:04:00 AM
I think at the time they just did not understand me, I did prove them to be wrong though. This family honour thing is all about control, parents always think they know best and use it as an excuse to maintain that control.
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/20/2013 12:17:00 AM
HEE HEE! I find that IMPOSSIBLE to believer, Richard. you are the most amazing catch! How could they? ;) hmmmmmm your money, eh? Well, that does add charm, Richard....we are only human! I'd like an explanation to that last line, please...what else could it be? Thanks for the post.
Date: 6/19/2013 1:55:00 PM
Hey sweet lady! Wow on this poem...love wins in the end. My family did not approve of my marraige at all....except for my dad. They said it would NEVER work....nearly 12 years later we are happier together than ever. Great job with this...should do very well!
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/20/2013 12:13:00 AM
:) For that introductory line...sweet lady! I'm so glad that you are going strong, Caleb. :) Glad your dad was there for support. Just so happens today is our 20th wedding anniversary. Who would have thought we'd make it this far??? I think it was the strong opposition that made us want to tie the knot more than ever! Feel like listening to "Still the One" by Shania Twain! :)
Date: 6/19/2013 9:57:00 AM
Wow am so happy tnat love ruled ....Seren. Typo corrected
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/19/2013 10:01:00 AM
Thanks, Seren! Sweet of you to post! Those typos plague me constantly...no worries!
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Seren Roberts
Date: 6/19/2013 9:58:00 AM
Typo on my own name. Lol.Seren
Date: 6/19/2013 8:30:00 AM
What a wonderful love story
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/20/2013 12:28:00 AM
:) I'm happy for you! Cultural difference do make things a little difficult in countries where cultural norms and standards define who you are! Thanks for the visit.
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Richard Lamoureux
Date: 6/19/2013 10:58:00 PM
I know a bit about this marrying into a Chinese family. Worked out well in the end.
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/19/2013 9:35:00 AM
Thank you, Richard. Sometimes objections can be really fickle....I was not from the right culture....not pretty enough....not smart enough...Objections...though an honor student, popular, and....I was told....desired by many...I was not good enough for HER son. Oh well, the good news is we get along well now...and the past can be forgotten....at least...forgiven! :)
Date: 6/19/2013 7:44:00 AM
Powerful story. True love really does overcome, somehow. Excellent story!
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/19/2013 9:37:00 AM
Somehow....yes, it does! :) Thanks for the visit, Drake. Hope all is well! Hugs!
Date: 6/19/2013 6:38:00 AM
WOW! what people have to go through. Back in the day - people even killed for honor. You were lucky. I love your story. Lucilla
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Eileen Manassian
Date: 6/19/2013 6:40:00 AM
Lucilla....they still do in these parts of the world. Have you heard of honor killings? A father will kill his own daughter if she loses her virginity before marriage. I've read a book on that called, Burned Alive. Horrific. I'm thinking of writing a poem about it sometime soon! Will get back to you. Got to run! Hugs!

Book: Shattered Sighs