Pride of Place

or The Ladies Auxiliary of the Bronx "Most humans of pride need putting in their place." --a poet proud in having found his place "An inherited heirloom of monetary value is essentially a stolen object; for rationally speaking, the ethical adult, if capable, should sing for his own supper prior to eating it." --a capable poet who handsomely sings for his supper "Handsome is as handsome does." --a handsome poet "Nothing ever rises from a grave or tomb except one's flight of fancy--or an infamous fiction." --a rational poet grounded in facts "How sad your little cub bear here! His stuffing! Such a waste, my dear! Quite crossed and crucified, I fear! On Easter yet! Or nearly near--" "Perchance are you mistaken, Greer? Was not it Christmastide this year?" "Oh, quibble not, please Grace! How que*r you are! You must be nipping Kir still on the sly though warned to steer well clear of wine--and Ginger beer! For lo! your bustle in the rear should full of flatulence appear-- and not to me alone but clear to all including Miss de Vere who likewise blessed into my sphere espied I near 'The Sinners Pier' e'er faithless fixed to straight career into the sea the evening drear the hurricanoes most austere in league with cataracts severe allied with sulfurous fires to sear this ostrich plume as bolt and spear conspired to lewdly cleave and shear this treasured bonnet from Tangier--" "The present from the racketeer?" "The profiteer?" "The marketeer?" "The financier?" "The third amir?" "Who promised not to domineer?" "The gift from whom?" "The puppeteer?" "The bombardier?" "The cannoneer?" "The pistoleer?" "The buccaneer?" "With ew--" "The cauliflower ear!" "The headdress from the musketeer?" "The chevalier?" "The muleteer?" "The volunteer?" "The halberdier?" "Of still the halberd axe and spear?" "Oh, ladies! Ladies! 'Bucky' Leer! The balladeer! The sonneteer! My charming Rosenkavalier! The artist e'er with no compeer! This bonnet but an heirloom mere bestowed on me as souvenir from opening night at the premiere of Lear by Billy 'Bard' Shakespeare! When dubbed was I, poor Greer Meir-- the strictest of each budgeteer The Tremont hired "The IT Cashier!"-- 'Sir Lance'! Among a cloud-capped tier! to Bucky's penname--'Guinevere'! Apart from all the low small beer! Above the groundling with his sneer! His vulgar action! Rudest jeer! And piss pale for his ale unclear! Nay! Far beyond the pissing sphere! Enthroned we breathe in 'Cameleer'! (So named in every gazetteer!) With manor, villa, belvedere! And parks of palest fallow deer! Where ne'er a wind dare clockwise veer! When larks and swallows winging gear! To temples here to haunts endear! Each season new and each New Year! In which delight and bliss inhere! As robed in luxury cashmere! Bedecked in sumptuousness sheer! In heels from Christie's auctioneer! We trope beyond the troposphere! Beyond the solar stratosphere! Beyond the burning mesosphere! Aurora! And the thermosphere! Beyond the starred ionosphere! Beyond the sheerest starlight clear! To crown 'The Fairy Exosphere'! One diamond heart! ONE PEER TO PEER! -- Till Guin should up and disappear." "Ah!" "Look!" "On Teddy's cheek!" "A tear!" "His lips!" "Of rose--" "A soft veneer!" "This mist upon my stone Zaire! A breath here on my plume headgear! And spit upon my chandelier! With mucus in my purse! A schmear! On every side of my Pap smear!" "Look!" "There!" "He rises!" "From the bier!" "Come, gals! Give Ted one big Bronx Cheer!" Dedicated with Respect for teddy bears unrisen Monorhyme January 24, 2022 "Pride of Place" Poetry Contest Julia Ward