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No Apocalypse Please, We're British

“Excuse me,” I said to a clamorous succubus,
Keep down the slurping, I’m trying to sleep,
and if you MUST all come and slay every one of us,
make an appointment and come back next week.

I’ve the dentist on Saturday, would you believe,
and my son’s got jiujitsu on Sunday I’m sure;
if the hellmouth should open on Monday, I’ll seethe
as I’m booked for a lip-wax at quarter to four.

I guess we could pencil a quick Armageddon
on Tuesday, but frankly it’s not really on, 
I’ve got a dress-fitting for Barbara’s wedding -
if Darkness falls, how will my hem get re-done?

So dampen your hellfire and still your forked tongues,
I’ve no time for Doomsday! There’s too much to do!
But when you DO come with your cloven-hoofed chums…
DO remember to bring Mr Manners with you.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

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Date: 6/29/2019 2:59:00 PM
Sorry, Mr. Manners retired to Malta. I'm afraid you'll have to take your Armageddon like a man - straight up!
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Date: 6/23/2019 4:08:00 PM
Heh, it's true British. I always believed the horsemen of the apocalypse would have impeccable manners and Received Pronunciation. And their horses too) Nicely done, Nina.
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Date: 6/22/2019 10:50:00 PM
Love the feistiness of this one. Suits real Brits to a 'T.' Guess the Apocalypse will have to take a number, eh?! Great write, Nina! Best wishes, Gershon
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Date: 6/22/2019 3:29:00 PM
Well done (although I imagined May saying this to Trump - most especially the last line!)!!! Aloha! Rico
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Date: 6/22/2019 8:28:00 AM
Only in Brittan, you say...keep the destruction at bay...very Apocalyptic of you lol...great verse Nina...^WW^
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Date: 6/22/2019 12:11:00 AM
How very civilised, Nina. Never mind ‘stiff upper lip’, we have other ways of dealing with apocalypses - must keep up appearances! May I say: this is excellent, Dear Ms. Parmenter. (Not Pat Menter as spellchecker insists)
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Son of Spock
Date: 6/30/2019 1:06:00 PM
Crickets for girls. Football?
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 6/22/2019 2:00:00 AM
Why thank you Mr Brewer. I think this whole good vs evil thing could easily be resolved with a nice game of cricket.
Date: 6/21/2019 4:24:00 PM
Brilliant line 'If Darkness falls, how will my hem get re-done?' Sorry, Satan, we're just too busy to pencil you in!
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Nina Parmenter
Date: 6/21/2019 4:27:00 PM
Quite. The modern schedule does not allow time for the End of Days!