No!!!!!!

I hear the floor creek Closer and closer toward my bedroom door I try to stay quiet hiding under the covers Though I know he will find me I hope he doesn't hear my heartbeat Or hear me praying God will protect me tonight But as I do I start to cry because I know TONIGHT'S ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS WHEN GOD JUST DOESN'T HEAR ME I let out one more sob And the door swings open The hallway light shines in But darkness radiates off him So strong He has a smile on his face Nothing will stop him I cant even defend myself He gets on top of me holding me down As I try to turn away He pulls me back covering my mouth I am too scared to breathe A few weeks pass by I hear him moaning my name While stumbling around the house Closer and closer he is walking toward me Now he is on my bed And before he even touches me I begin to cry as I wonder Where is God tonight? This time I fight back I yell I cry But he has ways to shut me up. I do everything I can to loosen his grip He's hurting me so bad but will not let me go NO He will not let me go Not until he is finished He leaves me lying there To think of what I have lost "I'm sorry" is not enough He doesn't even realize what it has cost Another few weeks pass by The shame keeps getting worse Too afraid to tell Though its so hard to hide this pain Day after day I must have been bad that night I hear him coming closer as I'm lying on the floor Lord I would do anything If you would keep him from walking through that door But he does I finally realize I am all alone No one to protect me No one who can save me... So I lie back down to take it But he throws me on the bed And makes me relive my worst fears When I just want to be dead I don't want to kill myself I just want to die God, why have you abandoned me? Can you not see the tears I cry? I will hurt myself later After you have hurt me This blood that stains the sheets Tangled up on my bed Reminds me of the words The images you have put inside my head I can still feel you touching me, grabbing me Forcing my body closer to yours The feeling of your cold fingers all over me I constantly try to wash away From my scarred skin Since that first night I live my life in fear You are the reason I love too easily Why I cannot love at all. Because I trusted you I can no longer trust The pain I hold inside You will never know They will never understand That my scars don't even begin to show...