Motherhood - Part I

Unprepared I am For this gift and its trappings Unceasing intolerable sobbing and gasping With what shall I arm my fragile domain? I am forced to endure all of your pain Yet there you remain; desperate needy thing How heavily you weigh upon heartstrings Colossal guilt at my frustrations… Silently enraged by well-meaning congratulations Engulfing, drowning, diminishing my abilities Overwhelmed entirely by this responsibility Love refuses to come automatically Remembrances of sleep dying dramatically Yet there you lie…desperately needing me Blissfully unaware of my insecurities Deprivation, depression, and pain cloud my heart While I watch all the others make it look like fine art Effortlessly mothering, bright eyes and broad smiles So sorry for you, that you have missed that by miles Incapable of such patience, second-guessing my decision Wishing for earlier precognitive vision Yet there you are, sleeping quietly now Entrusted to me, even though I have no idea how To possibly show you what all of this means To ever live up to all of you dreams We’re bound together, you and me For better or worse, for all eternity So here is my promise, maybe all I can give: I will never abandon you for as long as I live Yet there you lie…aware of me even in deepest sleep Turning towards me just to listen to my heartbeat deep Within this fragile undeserving frame Now I will begin to love you, as I whisper your name