Monoku Monday - July 2021

"Debby Downer edition" posted 5 Jul 2021 the chill pill you took this morning appears to have been a placebo misery loves company though company doesn't love misery i saw this sign at an introvert's home "the fewer the merrier" "be yourself" is just about the worst advice you can give some people to err is human but blaming someone else is even more human found in a pessimist's purse: "in case of accident, i'm not surprised" meant to tell you I borrowed your car the good news is: your air bag works [humor attribution - found online, sources unknown] "More Book Worms" posted 12 Jul 2021 i just published a book on reverse psychology do not buy it i can't tell you how much I love my new blank notebook there are no words i wrote a book on aardvarks in hindsight, paper would have been better a new book: "the ups and downs of marrying darth" by ella vader Bismarck wrote of his car an Otto auto autobiography [humor attribution - last two by Edmo Snord, all others found online] "Bits and Pieces (part I)" posted 19 Jul 2021 Pun Ishment some cattle in a satellite would be the herd shot around the world English Class always and never words you should always remember never to use Doctor Doctor want to take a do-it-yourself anesthesia class? knock yourself out I Know, Right? whenever I'm not in my right mind my left mind gets pretty crowded Just Sayin' politicians are like Slinky's useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs Quote of the Week my wife and i were happy for 20 glorious years then we met [Quote of the Week ~ Rodney Dangerfield] [All other humor found online ~ sources unknown] "Bits and Pieces (part II)" posted 26 Jul 2021 Pun Ishment common pickup line for blackbirds "have you bred any good rooks lately?" English Class writing advice: be mindful not to carelessly split infinitives Doctor Doctor i know a doctor who specializes in diseases of the rich But Is It Worth It? a guy once told me he would give his right arm to be ambidextrous Just Sayin' 99.9% of all lawyers give the rest a bad name Quote of the Week whenever you step on the brake to stop your life is in your foot's hands [#3 attributed to Tom Lehrer, #6 to George Carlin, all others found online, attribution unknown]