Lost

i seemed to have lost track of time and also as to where i'm at though i left bread crumbs it seems some one was hungry it even though odd might have been me since my tummy is rumbling for i should have been at the ginger bread house by now

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Arturo Michael

Date: 1/17/2020 8:25:00 AM

I like how you got into the write...

Jeff Connelly
Date: 1/17/2020 9:59:00 AM

Thank you Arturo. I hope you got into it as well.

Nick Bagnall

Date: 1/17/2020 8:02:00 AM

Odd, you've split sentences across verses, rhymed some parts and not others, I feel the 'it' at the start of verse 3 should instead be at the start of the second line of that verse....But I really like the idea that your charactrer knows where they are going even though they should not, and would not go there if they had any idea what was to happen. Interesting twist on a borrowed story.

Jeff Connelly
Date: 1/17/2020 10:03:00 AM

Nick, I can't thank you enough. I'm happy to read your comment in that you actually spent time, not just reading, but it seems from what you wrote, analysing this poem. WOW thank you much more then enough Nick!!!