Light On the Devil's Chord - Day 34

I listened to his heart profusely, For a beat like his was much to ponder I often wondered, his thoughts, and, A light in me knew, with wretched wonderment What the whispers in his mutterings meant to me They promised no salvation And they lusted more than I could possibly offer I refused to see a union as it seemed so clear to be I would see us as separate rudiments, Oil and water From the same creator A dissonance and a resonance Amicable only in his dreams And fading sternly away from my reality I listened to his voice, I heeded his words How they sounded with the instruments, The lucid tunes and tones, Exquisite beating of the wings Strange rhythms, day and night, Hearing for the first time What God would have closed His ears to Like a world of iniquities presented to him, From the blood of Christ, He would turn His face away With no question and no hesitation Yes, I listened like a sinner, And grew fond like a fallen one This he knew, and his eyes became like melting swirls Of worlds unknown, like paths not yet traversed Calling me by name His lips ardent for mine and readied Teeth rinsed with his acute ascertainment In all his coldness, There was only warmth in my heart Mixed with the dread of certain loss “Do you?” He began, perceiving my enfeebled state, “Truly, do you love me so? Still, in this moment, With your heart devoted to Christ’s very feet, With the risk of losing everything you hold honor to, Past time and history… Past hatred, war and devastation Past Death and his inevitable strumming… How can you love me, Amongst the dead that Hades laughs at, How can you love me, Oh strange daughter, spirit, woman, That I have touched so gently with my wicked hands, How still does your flame burn?” His eyes caught mine as I knew they would, As I kneeled to the ground Retching emotions immeasurable He lifted me up with those eyes With a force unheard of, A force with a thousand silent cries “I know the source of your power over me, From the love that sustains me And as it manifests into this lustful pyre, I wonder now, if you ask for any purpose, but to crush me down further…” I bit down on my lips to hide my breathy desire He stood before me as one who waits for truth His hand, hot, searing, touching my face An inhalation, Followed by a morbid smile of amusement “You strike me more than a mere insect, You are easily more to me than a toy or a tool You are an unprecedented magic unscathed, A craft disentangling, unraveling Yet you are a thousand breaths unlived, Breaths that have yet to taste what it means To be permittable, free, incorruptible! Can you love me? Or can you only love my suffering Can you only love me when you are sure of my failure?” His hand tore from me with sudden rage in his jerk, But his form remained towered over my own And I stood motionless, My ears picking up on the frequencies of his fury My eyes wetting with desirous indignation “You know I love you!” I spat. “Death and Hades cringe at such love! What more must I say, sing, or decree? What tune, inkling, expression or phrase Can sway the likes of the Devil, Toward a light that is but extraneous to you? You are her! That Darkness, Empress, Queen she is, She breathes and exhales the same intonations, The same beats of your plotting heart She is you, sharing in this love I dare to love, You cannot have, nor give! She will not let you! I love you alone, And you love only her in return!” His smile faded into monomaniac desire He craved all that was in me To surface, That he may drink in newfound knowledge And newfound pain “And here I am,” I continued in song, “I listen to you day and night, Singing your melodies, Reveling in your dynamic wake I sleep and see you there, In my dreams How can I be here without the beat of your heart Murmuring sweet nothings into my hopeful ears? I love you knowing I will never have you Like she does I love you knowing I will see you no more As she does I need the truth and I need my God I need all these things to live And continue to love God has given me your songs That I may sing with you And understand how we will always contrast I want nothing more than to be like them, The wise, and the experienced, The honored and righteous hearts With faith unaltered I lost it all for love, My human life was but a grain of sand Flowing into the fitful palm of your hand… I have loved you for centuries, In the short human life I lived, To my dying day from disease And even in my deathly sleep, I loved you with every inch of my existence I have felt you writhe upon my awakening Tortured and torn… Your groaning and calling, I have felt your agony alone I love you And I am the only one, The only one who will say it The only one who listened The only one who questioned The only one who answered…” I knew he heeded the words, I knew his malice was hidden away Only for this moment his rage still remained He drew breath with urges immense As he sung, “This need, Like your need for your Creator, Is your burden Your want is an uncontrollable will Your want is a freedom I thrive on My reason for rebellion You need Him Yet you love me In the quiet chaos of your needs Your want for me Must be your downfall And our uprising Your lips have spoken much pain alone But have not touched to discover inseparability You say I love nothing, But I want you decidedly, Like love futilely wants me She is my idea, my foundation You are my peak, my victory…” In the midst of music we hummed harmonies His rage left his eyes and he swallowed his schemes In a soft gulp of present longing His magnetic eyes drew me in closer I could see every contour, every curvature He pressed his lips on mine, The thumps of his heart intensifying upon me He felt my love and my purpose lingering on his, It burned him more than he could possibly burn me And upon departure of this heated exchange, He paused to say, “Yes, yes, it is clear, In all the world, In all the universe You are the only one.” 1/5-6/2018