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Notes About The Poem

October 7, 2025

~ First Place ~
Premiere Contest: Dazzle of the Deep Field
Sponsor: Gregory Richard Barden

~ Third Place ~
Premiere Contest: 2025 Poetry Marathon Mile 22
Sponsor: Mark Toney

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* Although this poem is posted as a Rhyme, this beautiful format is actually a Cinqopet (sing-ko-pay), a novel, musical poetry form created by fellow Poetry Soup poet, Gregory Richard Barden.

*supplejack: noun; any of various North American vines that have tough, supple stems.
*moonshine: noun; high proof liquor or another word for moonlight.

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Interplay Of Beauty In Darkness

I sit, my back against the black.                           
   My thoughts a jumbled supplejack,              
       a wanna-be amnesiac.                         
     Oh, autumn leaves a fluster,                        
the winds in tipsy bluster.                                 
   
I’m weightless as I drift away                            
     on whiskey wings, a moth astray.                
         My grief in ashtray where I pray.                
   The equinox is tilted,                                      
my wispy body wilted                                      

and in my stupor do I dream?                            
   Are clouds I seek a false redeem                  
       as sunrise bleeds through jagged seam?
     Damn seraphim and serpents                       
and fantasy disturbance!                                    

I keep my secrets like a sphinx,                         
     my insight an elusive lynx                            
         …a widow with a hard drink jinx.                      
   Yet soul, a black-eyed-Susan,                         
still blooms in bruised seclusion.                         
 
Dawn’s dapple-gold flint-glints like stones.        
   As hard on eyes as nightmare crones    
       who rattled empty bottle bones.       .  
     As half-light scries the mirror,                                   
my pulse does bring me nearer                         

to burning on the altar of the sun,
                            my moonshine valentine…

Please Login to post a comment

Mark Massey Date: 11/8/2025 11:23:00 PM Susan, this poem is intense, showing strength in facing hard times. Love it, congrats! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 11/11/2025 7:49:00 AM Dear Mark, poet and sonneteer extraordinaire, thank you for your kind congrats. I'm so glad to know that you could feel the intensity of this poem. Thank you for your treasured thoughts, my poet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Line Gauthier Date: 11/3/2025 7:08:00 PM Congrats on doing so well in Mark's Poetry Marathon, Susan ~ you deliver top notch consistently. Bravo ~ Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 11/4/2025 7:19:00 AM Dear Line, I'm humbled and honored by your uplifting words and kind congrats. They mean a lot to me coming from you, a poet I truly admire. Warmest wishes, dear poet.. ~Susan

David Crandall Date: 11/3/2025 7:05:00 PM Wow, so poetic! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 11/4/2025 7:16:00 AM Thank you, David, I'm thrilled by your response! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Kim Rodrigues Date: 11/1/2025 2:31:00 PM Excellent write! Congratulations! A fave! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 11/2/2025 10:51:00 AM Thank you, Kim! I'm truly honored by your kind congrats and fave! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Maclawrence Famuyiwa Date: 10/28/2025 7:13:00 PM This is surely deserving of all the accolades. Congratulations. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/31/2025 7:18:00 AM Dear Maclawrence, I truly appreciate your gracious visit and kind congrats. Your warm words are uplifting. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich Date: 10/26/2025 2:55:00 AM What wonderful metaphors. And I see congratulations are in order. Way to go, Susan Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/31/2025 7:17:00 AM Dear Andrea, thank you! I revel in your visit and kind congrats. Your poetic spirit is inspiring and always appreciated. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

I Am Anaya Date: 10/25/2025 2:31:00 PM Oh my, look at all the goodies I get from these classic & edgy lines & your famous black-eyed Susan I've grown to love. Congratulations on your win! I dig the cinqopet-monorhymes ! Only 4 more contests left? I think. You deserve this Susan Ashley ~ xXhugs & October blessings Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/31/2025 7:12:00 AM Dearest Anaya, my soulful poet friend, like you, I love the cinqopet poetry form. It was a pleasure to write within this form. I'm so glad to know you found/enjoyed the "goodies" within the lines. Your poetic spirit always makes me smile :) Thank you for your beautiful comments, your kind congrats and for your vote of confidence in my poetry, those are the 'goodies' I get to enjoy! It means so much to me, my sweet poet friend. Warmest wishes and happy Halloween! ~Susan

Janis Medders Tobechi Date: 10/22/2025 4:16:00 PM Lovely, Susan. Blessings and congratulations, Janis. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/24/2025 5:39:00 PM Dear Janis, my inspiring poet friend, it’s wonderful to see you. Thank you for your warm words and kind congrats. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Mark Toney Date: 10/22/2025 9:57:00 AM Susan, love your “interplay” of light and shadow, emerging from personal darkness to rebirth. “Yet soul, a black-eyed-Susan, still blooms in bruised seclusion.” How clever thou art. ;-) Congratulations on your third place win on Mile 22 of my 2025 Poetry Marathon Contest. Keep your running shoes on, because Mile 23 has already started. Only 4 more miles to go before the Qualifiers’ Final Placement contest! Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/22/2025 11:13:00 AM Dear Mark, I like the little Shakespearean turn you took there. Thou art too kind :) Thank you for the honor of my poem's placement in your esteemed contest. Your wonderful comments and warm congrats are appreciated. I'm gratified to be among the gifted poets on your list. Your marathon contests are a showcase for poets here. I applaud your sponsorship! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Tom Woody Date: 10/19/2025 11:36:00 AM Well I see the black eyed Susan line is a fave but I'm leaning toward "a widow with a hard drink jinx" and "as hard on eyes as nightmare crones." There's a subtle humor in this darkie. Great stuff Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/22/2025 10:52:00 AM Dear Tom, I like the the "widow with a hard drink jinx" line too :) You gotta snicker at the nightmare crones otherwise they'll scare the bejesus outa you! Thank you for your wonderful thoughts and encouragement. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Suze

CayCay Jennings Date: 10/18/2025 9:58:00 PM I sure love this, it excited in a way that hit home. The 2nd and 3rd lines are like my kind of imagery delight, with more delivered throughout. It reads a speak of determined sound and feel that drew me into & thru intense feel. This poem buzzes me intoxicated. I probably say that often because it is a delicious truth and my best description of a peaked poetry high. Someday I may own new descriptive 'buzz' words, it's possible because I do play with and evolve with words, as do you. WOW Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/22/2025 10:41:00 AM Dear CayCay, your beautiful reaction to my poem lifts my spirits high. We're both buzzed on each others words :)) I'm thrilled to receive your thoughtful comments as I hold your soulful poetry in such high regard. Thank you for sharing in this rhythm and rhyme with me, your poetic presence here is truly appreciated and your creative spirit shines brightly. Warmest wishes, my inspiring poet friend.. ~Susan

Daniel Henry Rodgers Date: 10/15/2025 9:14:00 AM Dear Susan, It staggers and sways, drunk on grief and memory, yet somehow still blooming. The rhythm is hypnotic just like a moth circling flame, like whiskey poured into dusk. You’ve turned pain into a flower, and the flower into a kind of defiance. Your moonshine valentine. It burns beautifully. Autumn Blessings, Dear Susan, Daniel Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/22/2025 10:36:00 AM Dear Daniel, your comments, just like your beautiful poetry, never fails to take my breath away. Thank you for sharing in the emotions and imagery of this poem with me and for sharing your thoughts so poetically, they are treasured. I could fav this comment a thousand times over, I would! :) Warmest wishes, my inspiring poet friend.. ~Susan

Valsa George Date: 10/13/2025 8:34:00 PM "Yet soul, a black-eyed-Susan, still blooms in bruised seclusion." This can be included in the genre of Confessional poetry. I see a lot of intimate autobiographical elements in the poem. 'Black eyed Susan...' though a flower, I wonder if you are equating yourself to that. 'Blooming in bruised seclusion'.... denotes, you are bruised and feel seclusion. One thing I am sure, you not only bloom, but capture the admiring glance and attention of many. Beautiful and poignant...! A poetic gem. Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/22/2025 10:18:00 AM Dearest Valsa, my soulful poet friend, your comments are both beautifully and tenderly expressed. Though the poem reads autobiographically, it is a dramatization of the theme, 'finding beauty in the darkness', (a theme in Greg Barden's Dazzle of the Deep Field Poetry Contest) but there may be a few sprinklings of myself in there somewhere.. but truly, I am a social butterfly in real life who's happy go lucky! :) I vicariously enjoy the dark side through my poetry. Thank you for your esteemed thoughts, they are treasured and lift my spirits to beyond the clouds. I am honored by your poetic presence, my sweet friend. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan

Sara Etgen-Baker Date: 10/12/2025 3:21:00 PM captivating imagery, magnificently penned, Susan. I love your poetic voice and it flows here with your lovely imagery. Like Paige, I loved 'black-eyed Susan" Faving Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/13/2025 8:22:00 AM Dear Sara, I'm thrilled to receive your thoughtful comments as I hold your poetry in such high regard. I'm happy to know you loved the "black-eyed-Susan" image too. :) Thank you, my soulful poet friend, for your gracious visit and kindness. I'm truly touched by the honor of your fav. With appreciation, my warmest wishes to you.. ~Susan

Paige Hind Date: 10/11/2025 7:14:00 PM Breathtaking.. I love your style. A pleasure to read- love "black eyed Susan" Login to Reply Susan Ashley Date: 10/11/2025 7:25:00 PM Dear Paige, I was just leaving a comment for you as you were leaving this for me... hehe :) We're in sync I think lol! Thank you for your encouragement, I hold your thoughts in high esteem since I so admire your beautiful poetic pen. I'm happy to know you loved the "black-eyed-Susan" image. Warmest wishes, my poet friend.. ~Susan